To be upset with my DH’s reaction to a parking problem?

[LovelyBranches]

We have a problem neighbour-the daughter of our next door neighbour.

In the past she has attacked me in the street when my DS was a baby. I’ve had death threats from her. She has broken into our garden and taken a Stanley knife to our garden furniture and broken all of our pots (my mother happened to be sitting outside the house so we know that the only way to access our garden was via the fence next door).

Over the years we’ve called the police but they’ve never done much because we didn’t have CCTV.

Fast forward to today, and my neighbours daughter is obsessed with parking. She has use of two cars and whenever she leaves in either one of them she will go through a detailed manoeuvre to deliberately leave one car permanently on the road outside my house even though they have two driveway spaces. We have one driveway and a garden the same size as a driveway but it doesn’t have a dropped kerb. This is where neighbours daughter likes to park.

However today, she hadn’t done this and I was able to park on the public road outside my own property. However I was in my house when I heard a loud squeaking noise and saw that she had come home and was using her car to ram my parked car a meter down the road. Annoyingly my CCTV has just stopped working and I don’t have evidence, and I’d like to move so I don’t want to tell the police as you have to declare neighbour problems when you move.

I phoned DH almost in tears, it had shocked me to see my car being bumped and I’d had visions of my car rolling down the street. It also feels like a violation that she’s using her car to ram my parked car down the road when it’s parked legally on a public road outside my own house.

DH came home and has blamed me for inflaming the problem by parking on the road directly outside our house. It’s this I feel most let down by. I didn’t do anything wrong, or try and instigate any problems. I simply parked outside our house but he believes that I should avoid doing this because of the previous problems we’ve had, and that we know how awful this woman is and we should be trying to keep out of her way.

I feel he is being unreasonable and could have been more comforting and understanding. Is DH unreasonable or was I?

I also don’t have any evidence because my camera broke and I know from bitter experience that without evidence the police won’t act. If I report it to the police and they do nothing I also risk repercussions from that. This is not a sneaky decision trying to hoodwink a poor buyer. It’s a decision I make because of lack of trust in the police.

Get your cameras sorted in case you need them if she becomes physical again or does something particularly dangerous and get the house on the market ASAP. You cannot stay there, she will ruin your health and peace of mind.

I’ve ordered the new camera’s today. The houses that we are interested are new builds which looks likely to be completed by the end of the year/early next year. There’s quite a bit of a price difference so we need to save.

I’m hoping I can hold out that long.

So, you will be disclosing all of this to your potential buyers then? Because clearly their issue isn't just with you and they will make whomever buys lives a living hell too.

Why haven’t you knocked this idiot out yet?

You watched her purposely ram your car a meter down the road and haven't called the police?

Yabu. Crazy behaviour.

Seriously you've no idea what he should have done? Some people! Lol

But that’s the main reason I want to move. It feels specifically targeted against me. She has no need to park outside my house. Our houses are not linked to each other, there is a small lane between them.

Her house has two driveways, she could easily park there but she chooses to park outside my house even though it’s further away from her own house. She seems obsessed with me and I’ve considered reporting her for stalking but again, I distrust the police.

You need to make sure you have CCTV working

Do it again and film her!!! That is OUTRAGEOUS behaviour!!

Your DH was BU by not giving you any support. However, as soon as I read your post, it screamed 'today she didn't park there, so I parked there instead just to piss her off!' ... which is probably how your husband sees it too.

Dafuq

This exactly, stop playing games and get on with your life seems the best response

Maybe your husband is sick of all the drama?

She said it makes it easier to get her mum to her appointment it's not done to piss off the psycho

I have played this out in my head. She would simply deny it and my car is a 10 year old car with a couple of dings from over the years.

I wish I had that much trust in the police but she has previously broken into my garden, slashed my garden furniture, threatened to kill me and the police told me to get in touch with victim support who send me a fake CCTV camera in the post. She doesn’t play by normal rules and last time even though plenty of neighbours witnessed her attack me, they all shut down pretty quickly when it came to giving a statement because they fear the family too.

Where are her parents in all this?

It's best not to stoop to her level as this sounds like it could escalate and become real nasty real quick but part of me thinks she probs wouldn't try it on against a 6ft shaven headed butch type.

I'd struggle to keep my cool though tbh.

Yes, my mother has Parkinson’s and the appointment was to see if she could afford to move to the same housing estate as we’re looking to move to, so that I can be on hand and she can live as independently as possible.

Bit of a leap 😂

I don’t know. There used to be a time where I was friendly enough to say hello to the parents and they would say how wild their daughter was, but I’ve come to realise they are a big part of the problem and I think they enable her to act like she does. This is a women who’s coming up to 40. She’s not a silly teenage girl who is making mistakes in life.

To be honest OP, you sound full of excuses to me. The cameras that you bought specifically for the purpose of recording her, broke at just the point where she decided to attack your car. You couldn't find your mobile to film her actions on. Your Mum was in the bathroom when it happened, so apparently didn't see anything. You don't want to report to the police, because you don't trust them. Your car already has dinks on it, so you can't prove it was her. I can't help thinking there's something more going on here, and knowing that it would piss her off, you decided to park where you know she likes to park, and yet weren't on your guard with camera ready in case she retaliated. I'm not surprised your DH wasn't as understanding as you would have liked him to be.

So what's the back story that you're not telling us?

Just a word of warning if you have a car seat in the car that she rammed it may need replacing. Our neighbour hit the corner of our parked car when she was pulling into our shared driveway and the insurance replaced it under the damage claim as although it was a slow speed bump it can render the car seat unsafe apparently.

She’s completely in the wrong but come on, you knew it would wind her up and your husband knows you know that as well. You have to decide if you’re arguing or avoiding. I would be tempted to involve the police if it’s a bad as you’re saying as you’re implying it’s specific to you and not the house. If she attacked you without you giving as good as you got then why in your right mind wouldn’t you have taken it further? Sorry but it doesn’t add up.

I understand not wanting any “neighbour dispute” when coming to sell and honestly she sounds unhinged so I’d be worried about repercussions in reporting her to the police (again). If I were you I’d get your house on the market asap and move into rental property until the new builds are ready. It’s not worth your safety or sanity to stay where you are. Just sell up and move asap (I know probably easier said than done).

Could you rent somewhere else & rent out your property until the new build is ready? Or does your DM have room to temp move in with her? A year of reduced costs for both of you to save.

If it’s just you the NDN daughter is fixated on, someone else living there should calm things & therefore nothing to disclose to future buyers. A bit complicated, but would be worth it for peace of mind & to give your own property a better history from the NDN.