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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dump him for wearing glasses?

555 replies

ThisFluentBiscuit · 19/02/2025 23:41

Lighthearted AIBU.

I have a lovely sexy FWB. Problem: He permanently obscures his handsome face by wearing these awful glasses. He won't wear contacts - has tried them and hates them. His glasses are really unsexy, but it's hard to get them smaller because they're the bifocal type with a line across. He looks like a bank manager from the early Nineties. When he takes them off, he looks about 20 years younger and 10 times hotter. Drives me mad.

Also it's frustrating that I've got this handsome man who ruins all the general foxiness when we go out with these glasses. He sometimes sends me photos of himself - he's on holiday right now and just sent me a shot - and my vagina is starting to shrivel a bit at the bank manager look. It was OK for the first couple of years because it was all new, and we don't see each other THAT much anyway (although we're firm friends so we text a lot).

I'm beginning to realise that the glasses are going nowhere.

TLDR: His glasses are giving me the ick. Should I dump him for someone who's not perma-wearing a sexual impediment blazoned across his face?

OP posts:
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Original poster
ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:08

Dollydaydream100 · 20/02/2025 11:03

I've told this story on here before. Went on a first date with a guy I'd met when very drunk in a bar and exchanged numbers with. He turned up late and also went up to another girl who looked nothing like me before seeing me and coming over. To be fair I probably wouldn't have recognised him either as he was wearing Austin Powers style glasses that he definitely hadn't been wearing the night we met so I was a bit 🤔. He got us a drink and came and sat back down and as he did his glasses suddenly swung apart in the middle and the two half's dangled off each ear! I was in shock and obviously burst out laughing - turns out he was late as he'd broken them before our date, had no contact lenses left and had to fix them with superglue (which obviously didn't work very well).

We've been together over 20 years now 😂

If you don't fancy him bc he has some dodgy glasses OP he isn't the one for you!

That's HILARIOUS! 😂😂😂

I wish that would happen go fwb's glasses! I'd laugh myself into the middle of next week!

OP posts:
RIPVPROG · 20/02/2025 11:08

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:03

It is, and he's a teacher.

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😂

Original poster
ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:09

SwingTheMonkey · 20/02/2025 11:07

Who are all these very religious people you know, who are happy to have plenty of no strings sex, op?

Oh, don't ask. It's all to do with repression.

OP posts:
Elsbels00 · 20/02/2025 11:11

Because you obviously think that you look/dress better than him, but that's your opinion.

The fact that you keep going on about the contact lenses actually makes you sound like a throwback from the 80s.

People don't care about glasses these days op. Apart from you.

Original poster
ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:12

Bubblemonkey · 20/02/2025 10:43

I assume you’re perfect then? Nothing that could give him the “ick”? 🤔

There are definitely things about me that could give him the ick. Maybe they already have. Perhaps it would explain the lack of effort.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:14

Elsbels00 · 20/02/2025 11:11

Because you obviously think that you look/dress better than him, but that's your opinion.

The fact that you keep going on about the contact lenses actually makes you sound like a throwback from the 80s.

People don't care about glasses these days op. Apart from you.

I absolutely do dress better than him. Anyone can dress better than silky, static polyester sports wear.

I'd gladly settle for some better glasses.

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 20/02/2025 11:14

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 10:56

Actually...I've just had an idea. I have a younger friend who's really attractive; she looks just like a young Marion Cotillard. And she's very into the same religion as FWB. Wonder if I could set them up...might be a way of putting some distance between us but still keeping him in my life except more on the edges. Like him, she also doesn't want commitment after getting recently divorced.

Please don't. You and a friend can't be sleeping with the same person. He's not a handbag you share.

Have just a little bit of respect for yourself and him.

Original poster
ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:16

RIPVPROG · 20/02/2025 11:08

😂

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Chemistry and biology. He says we have chemistry, and I believe him because he should know!

He wears all his coolest clothes to school. 😡

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:17

BlueMum16 · 20/02/2025 11:14

Please don't. You and a friend can't be sleeping with the same person. He's not a handbag you share.

Have just a little bit of respect for yourself and him.

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If he could see what you wrote, he'd be like, "No, please don't have any respect for me!"

He's very keen on sex and likes it with lots of people. (That's how he got so good at it.)

OP posts:
Finallybackinbootcuts · 20/02/2025 11:22

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 10:00

I don't know if he does or not. Just that I wouldn't be surprised if he does. He looks blonde and angelic but is a filthy devil who knows his way around a woman's body. I'm sure he could get anyone he wanted.

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Not sure this adds up. He’s all that and you’re whining on about his glasses? 🤣

Greyrockin · 20/02/2025 11:25

"He still wants a go in my sausage-casing regularly." 🤢

So you've never outgrown the ladette days OP? Mind you, even at my worst 90's 'banter' I wouldn't have said something that gross. You're coming across as a bit of a female Andrew Tate.

BunnyLake · 20/02/2025 11:27

I think big glasses are coming back in agan. I used to wear huge ones in the 80s and people said I looked like Deidre Barlow 😯😯 I then changed them to little round John Lennon style ones.

butterpuffed · 20/02/2025 11:28

Maybe he didn't understand the meaning of FWB and assumed it meant Friends with Bifocals . He probably puts them on especially and doesn't need glasses at all !

Snippit · 20/02/2025 11:31

Throckmorton · 19/02/2025 23:43

First reply nailed it

Agree!

BunnyLake · 20/02/2025 11:31

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:17

If he could see what you wrote, he'd be like, "No, please don't have any respect for me!"

He's very keen on sex and likes it with lots of people. (That's how he got so good at it.)

Edited
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Hope you’re at least looking after your sexual health.

BunnyLake · 20/02/2025 11:33

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:12

There are definitely things about me that could give him the ick. Maybe they already have. Perhaps it would explain the lack of effort.

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Your writing style perhaps?

Bloom15 · 20/02/2025 11:35

You can't dump a FWB - just stop having sex with him.

Disturbia81 · 20/02/2025 11:42

People are allowed to have preferences, I don't find glasses attractive but that's as a compliment to the person I'm with.. I want to see their handsome face. Glasses hide it.

mealienpleasehelp · 20/02/2025 11:49

YouDeserveBetterSoAskForIt · 20/02/2025 09:34

I went on a date with a man who took me onto a bridge and handed me his glasses so I could see the birds better.

I said "wow, I think I can see them better" (just to sort of stop the awkwardness, first date in YEARS)

He then said that they were fake glasses and I was a liar.

This man wears fake glasses every single day of his life and sometimes decides to test women by having them try them on.

....

Count yourself lucky with your guy lol

Bloody hell fire!

Elsbels00 · 20/02/2025 12:00

Anyone saying that they don't find glasses attractive. You are entitled to not fancy someone for any reason at all.

The problem is with something like wearing glasses is that eyesight can change.

If you were in a ltr or married would you really go off your partner because they had to get glasses?

BlueMum16 · 20/02/2025 12:02

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 11:17

If he could see what you wrote, he'd be like, "No, please don't have any respect for me!"

He's very keen on sex and likes it with lots of people. (That's how he got so good at it.)

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Lots of sex is fine but not between 3 friends. Keep all partners separate. Starting to feel incestuous

Greyrockin · 20/02/2025 12:17

I think Norman Major is a mix of John Major and Norman Tebbit. Norman also rocked the big specs look...

To dump him for wearing glasses?
RosaMoline · 20/02/2025 12:21

The OPs posts are so cringe.

RosaMoline · 20/02/2025 12:32

Greyrockin · 20/02/2025 11:25

"He still wants a go in my sausage-casing regularly." 🤢

So you've never outgrown the ladette days OP? Mind you, even at my worst 90's 'banter' I wouldn't have said something that gross. You're coming across as a bit of a female Andrew Tate.

The OP referred to her vagina as a ‘sausage casing’ ? !
Dear God 🤮🤮🤮
Are you this annoying in RL?

PanicPanicc · 20/02/2025 12:34

BMW6 · 20/02/2025 07:58

Again, FWB don't have "dates". You're not in that kind of relationship. You are friends who have no strings sex.
When you go out with friends you don't get huffy about their glasses or clothes do you? I'd certainly hope not because that would be judgemental, shallow and plain old cunty.

Same here. OP is weirdly annoyed about his glasses as if they are much more than FWB. Or she'd like it to be.

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Idk, I used to have a fwb way back in the day and we went out together. They’re not mutually exclusive situations and generally speaking everyone likes to make an effort regarding their looks going out.

Of course OP could just not hop on his dick if it’s that off putting.

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