To dump him for wearing glasses?

[ThisFluentBiscuit]

Lighthearted AIBU.

I have a lovely sexy FWB. Problem: He permanently obscures his handsome face by wearing these awful glasses. He won't wear contacts - has tried them and hates them. His glasses are really unsexy, but it's hard to get them smaller because they're the bifocal type with a line across. He looks like a bank manager from the early Nineties. When he takes them off, he looks about 20 years younger and 10 times hotter. Drives me mad.

Also it's frustrating that I've got this handsome man who ruins all the general foxiness when we go out with these glasses. He sometimes sends me photos of himself - he's on holiday right now and just sent me a shot - and my vagina is starting to shrivel a bit at the bank manager look. It was OK for the first couple of years because it was all new, and we don't see each other THAT much anyway (although we're firm friends so we text a lot).

I'm beginning to realise that the glasses are going nowhere.

TLDR: His glasses are giving me the ick. Should I dump him for someone who's not perma-wearing a sexual impediment blazoned across his face?

So his glasses aren’t affecting him having more than one fwb. He probably doesn’t see a need to change his glasses if he’s still getting good results in attracting sex partners.

Why should he jump through hoops, change what he likes, just to appease a self-centred woman? He should be running a mile from her.

See my later post which covers that.(09.46)

Next time I'm in the market for a new guy, I'll definitely be looking for one who's sense of personal style is better.

I don't tend to find that very many men dress well, though. Plus SO many men have beards these days, but I much prefer clean-shaven. If you like a clean and preppy look, it's pretty hard to find. Most men don't shave and don't even tuck their shirts in, if they wear proper shirts, that is,

I'm not self-centered; I always ask about his life and I'm very generous in the sack.

I honestly don't know what he does when we're not together.

Ah, interesting that he has other FWBs.

<pushes specs up nose, leans forward in an armchair-psychologist type way>. Could it be that you are falling in love with him but are afraid that he doesn't reciprocate and so you are clutching onto his glasses as a way of stopping yourself feeling your feelings fully? <sits back>

I think you should throw caution to the wind. Tell him you like him and you should make a go of it together, starting with a celebratory trip to the optician for new specs all round! I hope it works out for you both.

I wonder if my sex drive is ebbing now that I'm post-menopausal, and that's why I find myself needing better visual stimulation to get me going...🤔 The glasses and polyester sports gear never used to bother me like this.

If he's a true friend you could discuss his dress sense/glasses like you would with a female friend. Take the piss, give advice, suggest alternatives, as a friend, not a controlling girlfriend.

As a friend, this also shouldn't bother you. It doesn't matter how friends look or dress. They are friends and there always. As long as they are clean and not offensive surely how they dress is their choice completely.

You appear to be in a casual relationship, but you want to change someone. You also don't want any commitment. That's more difficult as neither of you are invested in a future except for a quick shag so why would either of you make an effort or try to wow the other. It really doesn't matter you are having sex anyway.

I just hope both of you are practicing safe sex while you are having fun.

Also stop trashing your 'friend' if that's what he is. It's hurtful.

You sound awful.
He can do much better than you.
Your flippant responses are pathetic.

He doesn’t want to be bothered with all that because you’re not in a relationship and he’s not trying to impress you. You’ll have sex with him regardless.

All of this angst isn’t necessary. You aren’t in a relationship with this guy, if you find something about him a turn off, stop having sex with him. It’s a simple as that. You can’t be that desperate, op.

Is there any possibility of placing a phone booth outside your home so he can remember to divest himself of his glasses and jump out cape - and goodness knows what else - flapping in the breeze?

I hope he fwb someone younger and hotter, you sound a melt

😂😂😂 I love the way you wrote that!

I'm not really a throwing caution to the wind type! Done that before and ended up with an extremely sore arse after it got bitten by my lack of caution!

Is "the sack" as in "good in the sack" still used?
It reminds me of Jilly Cooper's earlier books, set in the 70s.
Maybe it’s having a renaissance.

It is; Rivals was a hit on Apple TV. I just finished watching it.

Well yeah, FWB isn’t exactly I-get-a-say-in-what-you-wear level relationship is it? More take it or leave it. And if he had other FWB then that’s even less leverage.

What's with all the ridiculous lads mag style smut writing? You're giving me the ick OP I can't read anymore.

I don't know if he does or not. Just that I wouldn't be surprised if he does. He looks blonde and angelic but is a filthy devil who knows his way around a woman's body. I'm sure he could get anyone he wanted.

In the same thread, it's been said that I write like someone's granny and like a smutty lads' mag. Whiplash...

Agree with the others what would you do if he presented with a serious facial impairment or he tried to control what you loook like

Why should he? He doesn't like contacts and they're HIS eyes

I do think being this judgey is gross

Ahh.
Yes, I assume they put in dated slang to set it firmly in its time.
Although, if you didn't like someone thinking you sound like a granny...

I'd keep visiting him and would give him lots of nice blowjobs to cheer him up.

I wouldn't mind if he suggested better glasses and said he found my smart-casual clothes more attractive than my polyester sports gear.

I agree.

If he was trying to impress OP or any other woman then he may try and put more effort into his looks but he doesn’t need to.

He’s got OP having sex with him without needing to make an effort and potentially others, so whatever he’s doing is working.