To think that maybe my husband could have taken a day off when my brother died

[Beenworkingwith]

I'm grieving so maybe I am unreasonable but my brother who was in his 30s just died very unexpectedly. My husband hasn't taken a day off to support me at all and I've had to try and get lifts to do all the admin associated with a sudden death as he also took our only car.

This morning I was trying to get the kids sorted, cook food for his grieving widow, drag teen out of bed and a bottle of milk spilled all over. I just sat and sobbed. I just wanted to have a bit of time before having to do all the household tasks considering my brother died in tragic circumstances just a few days ago.

My friend came around and hugged me and listened to me and I finally felt supported and loved. I don't think mu husband has even hugged me. He just ranted on about how much he hates my surviving brother which I don't have the bandwidth to deal with at the moment.

Would your husband have taken a day off work? Maybe I'm asking too much.

God help you OP, so awful.

Life can be so hard and there is so much we can't control or change.

However remained married to a selfish arsehole is one of the things we do control.

Take your time.
Don't rush into anything.
Grieve your beloved brother and mind yourself.

Sometimes I think he may be autistic. His brother is as well. Thank you for making me feel validated everyone.

Thinking of you. 💐

You will get through this. It will be tough at times. There will be dark days. But light will find its way in more and more as time goes on.

If your DH is autistic give him very specific instructions;

I have had a traumatic bereavement. This means I’m emotionally vulnerable. Husbands in this situation are important in supporting their wives. It would help me if;

Then give him some clear practical things he can do.

My DH was awful to me after my dad died and I realised I couldn’t lean on him emotionally - but he does like to help people and be seen to be helpful. He didn’t know how to emotionally support me so I got that from friends. I asked him to take over domestic chores and cook me healthy food. He did it to an extent and it was helpful when he did.

No need to post anything OP but I just wanted you to know I’ve been thinking of you. Your situation resonated with me. 💐