To not constantly be worrying about my children?

[evegettinglighter]

As babies, I wasn’t overcome with anxiety if someone looked in the pram and breathed near them. I sent them to nursery three days a week after a happy maternity leave and wasn’t overcome with anxiousness about the terrible things that could happen to them. I don’t have a monitor to watch them at night and I didn’t keep them rear facing in the car once they got old enough to protest.

So why am I made to feel like an unfit mother? And AIBU to think that upholding anxiety as the sign of a truly caring parent is actually toxic as hell?

It really isn’t. It’s a thread saying - I don’t like the way anxiety (which as others have rightly informed me is a mental illness) is held up and encouraged.

It isn't. Different people have different experiences and therefore have different ways of assessing risks. My experiences have been different from the norm and so the things I see parents doing which put their child at risk are completely different. If it is something they might not know about and I think they might like to take into consideration, I'll speak up.

Other parents will have other experiences and might see things I'm doing as a risk and they will speak up. I don't see them encouraging me to be anxious, I see them as sharing information and I'll take it on board and decide if it applies to me.

If you are feeling a certain way about people sharing risks they know about and you decide that's not a problem for you, that's on you. You need to deal with your issues there.

there is literally an example on the thread where someone essentially says that she only has one child so can’t take risks (because of course, I’d just shrug if one of my children was killed because I have another - sheesh.)

You have literally misunderstood what that poster was saying. She wasn't talking about siblings being spare children. She was saying she doesn't have a spare one in the cupboard she can take out if something happens to her child.