Page 3 | I probably am being unreasonable but i need to vent.....

Frostynoman · 17/02/2025 21:53

Are you going to get satisfaction when she’s unable to do anything such as drive, go to the gym, enjoy days out etc? Because that’s the other end of this spectrum and it’s pretty ugly.

Hwi · 17/02/2025 21:55

Why don't people compare themselves with people who are worse off and having done so, count their blessings?

Fencehedge · 17/02/2025 21:56

Be honest. You didn't 'NEED' to vent, you wanted to bitch, and hoped people would agree with you.

I hope she posts more and more of her great days out on social media. She SHOULD be fucking proud.

You however, dear, should be ashamed of yourself.

EdithBond · 17/02/2025 21:56

BulbousFrog · 17/02/2025 21:43

I'm going to chime in here as someone who is a single parent with MS. To the outside I might look really "healthy" and "active". I go to the gym 3 times a week for example. If I didn't, I'd be much, much more disabled than I am. It's a degenerative, progressive illness so you either use it or loose it (for ever). So yes, I walk places when I could get the bus etc. because if I don't, it will speed up the day when I can't walk at all.

But to compensate, behind closed doors it's my teen DC that do the laundry, cook dinner several nights a week, I pay for a cleaner, and I need to rest a lot. I'm in constant neuropathic pain. Out of nowhere I can loose the sight in one eye for months at a time. There's never any guarantee that it will always come back in any functional way, and it's definitely very far from fully recovered after the last time. I'm really lucky that I can work part time from home.

So that's why people with MS get PIP. Even disabled people can keep fit and healthy, as much as possible.

This.

AngelicKaty · 17/02/2025 21:57

Quitelikeit · 17/02/2025 21:15

Doubt she could afford all that on benefits alone or maybe she is just really savvy with her spending

I thought you lost a big chunk of money if you got a car anyway?

I think I know what you mean, but you don't so much "lose" money as the Motability Scheme deducts payments from your benefit each month to pay for the car lease. I take your point though - she doesn't get the car in addition to her benefits

ilovesooty · 17/02/2025 21:57

Ph3 · 17/02/2025 21:51

@smileitlightsupyourface - so is this because she is receiving benefits that thou think she shouldn’t be receiving? If that is the case I agree with you. Benefits aren’t (shouldn’t be) for everyone. Of course she cannot help her disability and MS is brutal I have a family member with it but benefits shouldn’t be automatically dished out because she has. If she has a comfortable living where she can afford all of this she doesn’t need PIP. It should go to those who need it. But… it’s a case of does she have this life because she is on PIP (which I assume not as from my understanding benefits are that much) or she gets other income? That’s really what matters

PIP isn't means tested.

Original poster

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:57

I know she can't help being poorly and would obviously rather she didn't have her illness ( she was diagnosed 2 years ago) i think what gets me is that shes taken so much from a system that she has never ever contributed to and probably never will contribute to. Her eldest dc has now had a dc and is also living on benefits.

OP posts:

Queenofthejabs · 17/02/2025 21:58

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:31

I know im unreasonable because i have my health but i also know that other friends and school mums think the same as me because ive overheard them discussing it.

Oh that makes it ok then.

how bitchy,

1smallhamsterfoot · 17/02/2025 21:58

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:57

I know she can't help being poorly and would obviously rather she didn't have her illness ( she was diagnosed 2 years ago) i think what gets me is that shes taken so much from a system that she has never ever contributed to and probably never will contribute to. Her eldest dc has now had a dc and is also living on benefits.

Quit work and sign on then if it's such a fabulous lifestyle choice.

JustAboutHangingInThere · 17/02/2025 21:59

She has MS. Get a grip. Your post is so out of order.

Original poster

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:59

Fencehedge · 17/02/2025 21:56

Be honest. You didn't 'NEED' to vent, you wanted to bitch, and hoped people would agree with you.

I hope she posts more and more of her great days out on social media. She SHOULD be fucking proud.

You however, dear, should be ashamed of yourself.

Not true at all! If I wanted to " bitch" i would have used the terms that i have heard being said about her by others! I just wanted to vent and understand why i felt this resentful

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anyolddinosaur · 17/02/2025 21:59

MS is a progressive illness, I would rather be healthy than sick and needing benefits.

Hobbies maybe but long haul holidays - not possible on benefit payments.

I used to vaguely know someone who entered a lot of competitions and won holidays and other things like Christmas hampers. They were willing to make fools of themselves and concentrated on that sort of competition. So maybe they've done that or maybe you're making this up.

Exasperated24 · 17/02/2025 21:59

This reply has been deleted

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MurdoMunro · 17/02/2025 21:59

Do people really believe this? That a single parent with two kids can fund all their housing, food, electric, clothing plus ponies, golf and premiership football on benefits. Putting aside the MS for a minute and the implications of that. Honestly, are people really so fucking thick as to believe that this is true? Come on OP, for fucks sake.

Can we go back to the days of it just being about the big telly. Please.

Ph3 · 17/02/2025 22:00

ilovesooty · 17/02/2025 21:57

PIP isn't means tested.

Show quote history

Oh I see I didn’t realise that. Thank you for clarifying

Ger1atricMillennial · 17/02/2025 22:00

OP I get it, its normal and reasonable to be envious of people who you percieve to have more than you.

I also know that you wouldn't actually swap lives with her.

I deleted my FB a few years ago, and I deleted Insta about 6 months ago after bursting into tears when it told me that my pension was 10% of what it should be at my age. My life is so much better, less stressful that I can just concentrate on myself.

Original poster

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 22:01

MurdoMunro · 17/02/2025 21:59

Do people really believe this? That a single parent with two kids can fund all their housing, food, electric, clothing plus ponies, golf and premiership football on benefits. Putting aside the MS for a minute and the implications of that. Honestly, are people really so fucking thick as to believe that this is true? Come on OP, for fucks sake.

Can we go back to the days of it just being about the big telly. Please.

Edited

Where did i mention that she had only two kids?

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Pigeonqueen · 17/02/2025 22:01

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:57

I know she can't help being poorly and would obviously rather she didn't have her illness ( she was diagnosed 2 years ago) i think what gets me is that shes taken so much from a system that she has never ever contributed to and probably never will contribute to. Her eldest dc has now had a dc and is also living on benefits.

You do realise that some people are so disabled they will never work and never “contribute” as you so nicely put it. Maybe we should all just euthanise them like the Nazis did… 🙄🙄

You don’t sound very nice op. It’s a telling sign of how content you are with your own life to so enthusiastically launch an attack on someone else’s.

101Nutella · 17/02/2025 22:02

This is not very nice. This woman could die suddenly and also will likely have a shortened life as a result.
and you begrudge her for making the most of the time she has with her family?

i wouldn’t believe everything you see on social media.

BeMoreAmandaland · 17/02/2025 22:02

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:57

I know she can't help being poorly and would obviously rather she didn't have her illness ( she was diagnosed 2 years ago) i think what gets me is that shes taken so much from a system that she has never ever contributed to and probably never will contribute to. Her eldest dc has now had a dc and is also living on benefits.

WOW

That's socialism, and she still contributes to the economy in vital ways. Benefits in reality are pretty poor and you have to jump through intrusive & humiliating hoops for them, but they save people too ill to work from destitution.

Your own life could change in a moment and you'd find you need them yourself.

As someone else has said, the motability scheme doesn't give people free cars and remains expensive for those who participate.

Also benefit fraud is less than <1%

toomuchfaff · 17/02/2025 22:02

Someone else said it; you're not her friend.

Stop looking at her life, stop following her, look in a mirror, envy isn't your friend.

Will you be happier when she progresses her MS? Stop bitching, stop being envious and do her a favour and distance yourself.

NippyNinjaCrab · 17/02/2025 22:03

myplace · 17/02/2025 21:18

If she has MS, then she’s making the most of her healthy years.

Yep exactly this, have a word with yourself lady! Here, have my pain I've got right now for about an hour. I hope she's living her best life ever before MS fucks her body completely.

Smith111 · 17/02/2025 22:03

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:05

I have an "friend" who is on benefits. She receives universal credit, PIP ( for MS) and has a car on the motability scheme. I know she has MS and has bad days but she lives a very active life...goes to the gym regularly, goes on active days out with the children each week and has a very active social life. This friend has literally never ever worked a job. She had kids young and has always been on benefits. Her dc have expensive hobbies such as horse riding and golf and are also season ticket holders at a premiership football club. She has none of the dc fathers on the scene and her family don't have much to do with them. She is constantly posting pictures on social media of her dc doing their hobbies and expensive days out. They are currently on a very expensive long haul holiday for half term. Its really starting to grate on me that she doesn't work and never has but lives this type of lifestyle while i work full time and as well as being constantly knackered i would struggle to afford her lifestyle. I know im being unreasonable but she seems very tone deaf when posting all this stuff on social media when so many are struggling to pay bills. I really don't want to be bitter but its winding me up!

I get where you're coming from it's tough to see someone living that kind of lifestyle when you're working hard and still struggling. It's easy to feel frustrated when things seem unfair, especially with social media showing only the highlights. But try to remember, you don't know everything going on in her life behind the scenes. Maybe it's not all as perfect as it seems. At the end of the day, focus on your own path and what makes you happy. You're doing your best, and that’s what matters.

Normallynumb · 17/02/2025 22:03

FFS Another one about benefits
Nose out... You're no friend

Original poster

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 22:03

@Pigeonqueen people can't help being disabled and never working. The person im talking about has only had her illness for two years but has been on benefits since leaving school at 16 ( she is now 39). She has never worked through choice not because of her disability.

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