To not give my teen DD medication

[Foxjonessssss]

My 15 yr old DD has ASD and OCD, both diagnosed by CAMHS who she is under. She is brilliant in every way and manages so well. She is in grammar school doing really well academically but struggles in other ways. The school are great and really help her.

She has had therapy via CAMHS and through school but still struggles with intrusive thoughts.

CAMHS consultant has said it’s now time to start medication. I have really wanted to avoid this for her. I don’t want her on medication that has side effects and she may be reliant on. DD doesn’t mind either way.

I just think she has done so well with everything without medication I wish she didn’t need it ☹️

AIBU if I don’t accept the medication for her?

This is how I feel about sertraline too. Ita just makes me a functioning person

I'm not ND, but have a very long history of anxiety and OCD,from age 21, now 56. I was on and off anti D's for decades. Taking for 6 months, coming off, needing them again 2 - 3 years down the line,often at crisis point. 4 years ago I decided to stay on citalopram for good if need be. The long course has transformed my life. My OCD symptoms are gone. I've reduced down to a minimal dose, but stayed on it. Looking back, my life could of been so different, if I had done this sooner. I have a young teen who is almost certainly ND, and has social anxiety, and mild OCD symptoms. I'm watching him closely and will have no reservations in encouraging medication if I think he needs it. I want his quality of life to be better than mine was, in my earlier years.

...Anyway.

@Foxjonessssss I started taking medication for anxiety and intrusive thoughts 3 years ago and it honestly changed my life. I had no idea how much I was suffering until it stopped.

I would be worried about how intrusive her thoughts are and what levels - are we talking suicidal thoughts?

I think it is very sensible to ask all the questions you have, to take a bit of time to consider, to discuss with others and do some research. To blindly follow the advice of one doctor regarding medication that changes your daughters brain chemistry would be worrying and I can't believe posters are suggesting that doctors never prescribe unnecessary medication or that meds for MH problems are 100% perfect.

I am not anti medication at all but it's OK to question things.

I don’t know what the answer is to this as I understand your concerns - I am a woman now with both ADHD and OCD. I have suffered my whole life but no one ever noticed as a child - I was high functioning and my mum just thought I was sometimes difficult, black and white or lazy.

The reality is looking back I struggled massively. I don’t know how my life would have looked now had I been diagnosed as a child. Saying this, as an adult I do not want to be medicated. I have found ways to cope and manage life, and I have married a wonderful and supportive man, but it’s not always easy.

I think your support and awareness alone must really help. Also the CBT. Have you looked into saffron and other natural alternatives? NAC for example can be good. They don’t cure but they definitely lessen the symptoms.

If she’s managing I don’t think you need to start medication yet; but don’t rule it out if the need arises. Just keep being there for her as you have been ❤️

No it isn’t. I have 2 children who both have autism, adhd and CPTSD on medication and over time they’ve had medication for depression, suicidal idealisation,anxiety,stabilising mood, adhd and anorexia NOT for the trauma which was caused by separate incidents. For both medication was crucial for accessing therapy.

Why let her struggle on when a small low dose of something could make her life so much more enjoyable?

I was also about to ask what kind of medication, I was also on sertraline though as an adult, once they started to increase the dose past the placebo level it made me attempt suicide several times including OD'ing on it and my doctor's suggestion, unbelievably, was to increase my dose further. I came off it after that because something inside me told me that it wasn't right and the difference within a week was unbelievable, I felt almost normal. Just goes to show how medications can be really different for different people.

I struggled into my mid 30s due to this kind of attitude. The medication is amazing, I wish I had started it sooner, OCD is the flipping worst. My anxiety has lifted, the intrusive thoughts disappeared, the endless loops of checking. Let your daughter decide OP. The side effects are short lived compared to the positive change to her entire life.

I am going to respond to this and then disengage with you because I think you are incredibly ignorant on this topic.

I take two antidepressants and have taken various ones over the year. They do not dope me. I can drive, I can do a professional job. They do ease my anxiety and intrusive thoughts so that I am able to function. Without them I cannot and end up burnt out, continually in a state of panic, and unable to leave my house or work.

I take the antidepressants because they make me feel better. Me. No-one else. I replied to this thread because I wanted to help the OP and her daughter and share my experience. I advocate for the medication because I know how much it has helped me (and others) and know it can be scary when making that decision to whether to try medicines or not.

OP I wish you and your daughter the very best whatever route you and her decide to go down re the meds.

I understand why you'd feel hesitant, but I just wanted to share that my sister suffered horrendously with OCD throughout her teens before starting sertraline at around 20. It has worked amazingly well for her and changed her life. She didn't suffer from any side effects, luckily. Best of luck to you and your daughter x

And yes my kids are doing great on their medication and having being able to access therapy whilst on it they’re now starting to rebuild their lives.They are not doped.

She is only 15 and still needs parenting, your views are valid. My views would be the same as yours, as would most of the professionals I have talked to about this sort of thing. I'd be leaving it solely up to DC when they were 18. In your dd's case it would depend on - what are the intrusive thoughts, what medication is being considered, what are alternatives with fewer side effects, what are the consultant's credientials, is it possible that it is the therapy or therapist at fault and can you get a 2nd and 3rd opinion? Medication for anxiety such as propanolol is really effective and doesn't have side effects. Most of the professionals I have talked to about this sort of thing are against medication if at all possible because of the side effects, effects on academic success, effects on motivation. Different therapeutic work might be a better solution.

What are the intrusive thoughts about? (if appropriate to share)

ALL med have potential side effect , side effect if paracetamol is headaches

if she has asthma or a broken leg and a dr said “take this” , you would not think twice but people have a doubtful reaction to. Mental health drugs

try them for a decent amount of time and then evaluate

((hugs ))for you x

THIS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Please ask your DD what she wants. At 15 she has the right to make choices about her own health and whether or not she goes on medication.

My DD is 19 has ASD, anxiety, depression and ADHD and has been on medication since she was 14. It has absolutely saved her life. We always talk through her medical decisions as a family but ultimately it is her who makes the final decision.

My daughter is a similar age and on medication for depression and anxiety. From what I understand CAMHs don’t prescribe medication lightly. If they’ve suggested it I would assume there’s good reasons behind it. Her psychiatrist has stressed she doesn’t want this to be a longterm solution. Hopefully it won’t be.

Yes, you’re the parent but your daughter is 15 and this is her mental health that hangs in the balance. I don’t think it’s fair to make the decision for her, she needs to be the one who ultimately decides whether she tries it.

Let her try the meds. I held a lot of resentment against my parents when I first started meds for my ADHD at 18, since they refused to have me formally diagnosed or medicated due to perceived stigma, but to be honest I’m more concerned about the OCD than anything.

My sister has OCD and it got significantly worse in her early 20s before she ended up suicidal at 23 and finally sought treatment and she has had to be medicated - often heavily and sometimes with multiple medications - ever since, and she will probably never be who she was before it got so bad again.

On the other hand, I have General Anxiety Disorder along with the ADHD so have struggled with intrusive thoughts as well, but I’ve been on a low dose of an SSRI since it got bad a few years ago and I was 95% back to normal with in a month of starting it.

I would talk to the doctor again

there is concerns within the medical profession that children are being over medicated but you are cautious yourself and I always think it’s wise to understand fully the positives and possible negative effects of taking medication and for you daughter to understand as she may not necessarily feel better straight away

That is not true

People are not sectioned simply because they have not taken their prescribed medication

I don't think you should be withholding medication from her that a consultant doctor has deemed necessary.

You say she's doing well, but perhaps it's a struggle for her that would be eased with meds. There must be a reason that the consultant has said it's time.

I would feel very uncomfortable denying her medicine that a doctor has said is needed.

After all, if your fears come to pass, she can stop it.

But medication can be transformative when it's the right thing. You wouldn't deny her painkillers, so why would you deny her this? That you are considering denying her MH treatment just goes to show that you do not understand her condition.

My child has asd/adhd and anxiety (incl intrusive thoughts). Took 4 years of CAMHS refusing to prescribe and then a bit of trial and error this last year. She finally started medication for severe anxiety in Nov and new meds for ADHD. We’ve not looked back. She is so angry that she wasn’t prescribed sooner as she managed to get through GCSEs but A Levels were a whole new ball game and the anxiety and symptoms got worse as she became increasingly stressed about whether to go to uni, what subjects etc. She is now doing an access course and had offers for top 10 unis but will be a couple of years older than her peers - she can focus, does not have such severe lows/panic attacks and is finally looking forward. She wishes they were offered when she was 16 not nearly 20 as she has lost several years.

In summary, it really shouldn’t be up to you whether she accepts any medication that is offered, or even enters into a discussion about whether they should be considered. It’s between her and her clinical team. Your job is to be positive and supportive.

Claps from me too. 👏👏👏👏

All medications that have a positive effect can also have a negative one. Side effects are clearly disclosed and we would consider a side effect experienced by say ten percent of people to be extremely common, even though the vast majority of people would never experience it.

The side effects of medication need to be weighed against the ‘side effects’ of the problem they’re treating.

MN can’t help you, presumably you had a clear discussion with the expert managing your child’s condition, understood their evidence-based reasoning, but felt they were wrong for another reason.