To not give my teen DD medication

[Foxjonessssss]

My 15 yr old DD has ASD and OCD, both diagnosed by CAMHS who she is under. She is brilliant in every way and manages so well. She is in grammar school doing really well academically but struggles in other ways. The school are great and really help her.

She has had therapy via CAMHS and through school but still struggles with intrusive thoughts.

CAMHS consultant has said it’s now time to start medication. I have really wanted to avoid this for her. I don’t want her on medication that has side effects and she may be reliant on. DD doesn’t mind either way.

I just think she has done so well with everything without medication I wish she didn’t need it ☹️

AIBU if I don’t accept the medication for her?

Is it not up to her, if she feels it might be of benefit.

This isn't about you.

This is about what's best for her.

So what if she needs medication long term?

Would you deny her insulin if she were diabetic?

speak again to the team op

It’s worth a try surely? She deserves to try it out. If it doesn’t work out for her she can stop easily enough. Imagine if it’s the best thing for her

If she's been prescribed medication, she must need medication. I doubt they prescribed it on a whim.

If I were in your situation I would talk to her team and explain your concerns but ultimately I think it’s up to her. Yes she’s managing but at what cost? Is it much harder for her and the medication could give her some relief? Think about her above all

Medication isn’t something to be feared. Speak to her team so you understand it better (I don’t mean this in a patronising way at all, but to see if from the medical point of view). Our gut reaction to be anti medication is usually due to internalised bias and prejudice we have against it, when actually, we should just be grateful we now live in a world where these things are known about and accessible. Remember - she could always come off it. Knowledge is power though, so I’d ask more about the whys of it.

I’ve been medicated for years (very long term) and it’s changed my life in so many brilliant ways.

Yes. It is very unreasonable to deny your daughter the medication that will help her.
I was late diagnosed with ADHD and medication changed my life. I wish more than anything I would have had access to that in my teen years. A lot would have turned out differently for me. The only side effects that I am reliant on are the ones where I can live my life to the fullest. Don’t be that mum.

It’s one thing to be sad that non medication treatments have not worked.

But to actively deny her medication that would likely make her life much better is definitely not fair when she is open to it, at age 15.

She's unwell and needs treatment, it's as simple as that really. Ocd is really life destroying and your daughter needs relief from it , if medication is that relief then what harm. Its not forever, just for now .

The medical professionals have told you she needs to start medication now, so it would be wrong to withhold that from her. It doesn’t sound like they are doing it on a whim. I get wishing she didn’t need it, but she does need it and that’s ok. I can’t see how it would be helpful to teach her that medication is bad.

Also, I DO understand the reluctance you have. As a parent of a neurodiverse child, you absolutely do grieve the life you perceived for your child (no matter how outlandish or untenable that future may have been!), and with diagnoses often come the realisations that the hopes and dreams you had for your child may not be achievable/ appropriate etc. Your child sounds like mine in that they are ND, but are high functioning and for the most part are ‘ok’ (or to be hideously stark about it, more ‘socially accepted’) but that in itself can be hard as you can kid yourself that you’re child has ‘gotten away with it’ and you can pretend all the grief and stress hell that have been with you since the diagnoses can be pushed away and forgotten about, and then things like this come along and remind you that actually as the parent of an ND kid, you don’t ever get the luxury of ‘normal’ and then the grieving process starts again! So, I do understand. But, don’t let fear be the thing that clouds any judgement here ♥️

This makes me so angry.

My DD has ASD and ADHD and medication absolutely saved her life.

I can't say what I really think, but IMO any parent who won't even let their child try medication is abusive.

Please don't deny your DD the medication she deserves.

If she was physically unwell, you would treat her. You need to treat her mental illness too.

Best practice is a small dose of medication combined with therapy for ASD children. It helps the therapy be more effective.

dd went on medication for a bit and then they weaned her off once she was in a better place. It doesn’t have to be forever.

I on the other hand will make them pry my sertraline from my cold dead hands. That stuff is a magic pill for my ASD brain. It’s what lets me look at my anxiety and go, “oh, you are anxiety, I’m not supposed to let you ruin my life”. I have the skills to make it go away, but without the ability to see it, I can’t use them.

don’t stand in your DD’s way. Right now she has an opportunity that may be hard to get again. Let her take it.

Your daughter is 15 not 5.

It is now up to her not you whether she takes the medication she is prescribed.

Your best bet is to encourage her to take it as prescribed, and note both improvements and side effects.

Some people who are ND find medication helps them while others don't.

Btw my DP is on medication and I start to freak out if he can't get his prescription filled.

I really wish someone had given me medication for my ASD and OCD years ago. It’s been life changing for me.
She probably is ‘managing’ but meds might mean she can do more than just manage. I managed school etc too but it was so hard and I had a massive burn out after my A levels. Meds might have prevented that.

I know you say she doesn’t mind, but does she know how anti-meds you are? She might want to but not want to upset you. She needs to decide for herself.

asd doesnt get treated with medication as far as i know
adhd does

Just wanted to add, my ASD related anxiety wasn’t treated in childhood. Maybe if it was, I wouldn’t need medication for the rest of my life. DD’s psychiatrist explained that was the goal in treating children. To help interrupt the bad neural pathways that were forming and give her a chance to not need medication and therapy as an adult .

There is medication available for the symptoms of ASD - I'm on it.

I'm on anatriptoleen for my asd anxiety and a few years ago they wanted to change it to 1 of the newer meds and I fought them tooth and nail (having had bad reactions to other ADs before) I won in the end they don't even bring it up now.
@Foxjonessssss please follow the medical advice, she deserves the chance of an easier life.

Could you and your DD talk to someone at YoungMinds about your concerns? It’s valid to be worried about side effects. Your DD is presumably Gillick-competent and can make her own mind up.

Thank you all, I suppose it’s more of my sadness that DD actually has these issues. I know that sounds silly but @GoodGollyMissDolly really nails it, thank you.

I wouldn’t change her for the world, she is my only child and although diagnosed as ASD a lot younger, I have only ever known her, so we have kinda been in together as a family and I don’t know what it would be like to parent a ND child I suppose so all the things that people may have noticed etc are just my DD to me. Times like this remind me that life may not be so straight forward for her and all I want is for her to be happy and safe.

Your DD is 15. If she is deemed to have capacity, it is her choice, not yours whether or not she take the medication. You have no say in the matter.

It depends on what kind of medication ? My 15 y old ASD with heavy OCD is on Sertraline, no side effects. It does make his like easier because his OCD makes his life unbearable without the medication. If it's antipsychotics I would be very wary. We have tried this when he went through an aggressive period and it made him even angrier and hungry all the time.