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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My husband keeps touching my full face...WTF

226 replies

Thankgodforwine · 15/02/2025 23:26

My husband randomly runs his hand down the front of my entire face.....he knows it annoys the fuck out of me ...but he keeps doing it. When I voice my annoyance/rage, he makes it out as if it's "me"problem.
He is a great guy and dad....amazing husband and provider but ...WTF, is it me or is this normal. For context and to avoid drip feeding, I'm not a fan of human contact...like hugging etc ...some may say I'm awkward...but a hand to the full face ...surely nobody likes this, also his hands are sweaty as fuck, no joke ...these hands are damp. Am I being unreasonable, please say I am not 🤣

OP posts:
TagSplashMaverick · 16/02/2025 07:44

Ugh. I hate the awkward ‘lol’s and laughing emojis when used around deeply unsettling and disrespectful male behaviour. Hate it.

gamerchick · 16/02/2025 07:51

Just show him the thread. Reading these replies will probably focus his head a bit.

JLou08 · 16/02/2025 07:59

Some huge over reactions on this thread!
My DH gas done it, yes it is very annoying, that was why he did it. That is just some people's humour. Stopped after a push off and telling him it's disgusting.
No I'm not scared, he isn't controlling or abusive. We both like to annoy each other sometimes.

Horses7 · 16/02/2025 08:02

Knee him in the groin he will soon stop.

PoisonRain · 16/02/2025 08:22

My "playful" DH is similar, he does daft things that are annoying in the moment - humping me or slapping my arse whenever I bend over the dishwasher etc etc. I think in 27 years I've inadvertently encouraged it because although I often snap "gerrofff ya knobhead", I am usually laughing despite myself. And the bum smacking came from that scene in Only Fools and Horses when Rodney thinks women like an assertive man ("Fancy a curry?") and gets a slap in the face for his troubles.

Obviously I take my opportunities to do it back to him whenever he's bent over or indisposed and he gets annoyed, but has to laugh it off. If you give it out you have to be able to take it.

Recently he's taken to calling me "Boss Woman" to poke fun at me setting boundaries, asking for something or asserting myself and not being a pushover. At first I was irritable and kept telling him not to call me that, which only made it worse. But they're like toddlers aren't they, looking for a reaction - so now I completely ignore it. He's going through an extinction burst at the moment, saying it more and more to get a reaction, but eventually it'll fade out, like stopping a dog from barking by not giving it attention. 😊

After that bloody film Face-Off he did the hand down the face thing to me a couple of times, but he hated having it done to him so that phase didn't last.

If it were me OP, I'd start randomly sticking my finger in his mouth or wiping a wet hand across his lips while he's absently scrolling through his phone or whatever. Then when he says "WTAF??" just say, Annoying isn't it? STOP TOUCHING MY FACE WHEN I'VE ASKED YOU NOT TO.

But to agree with a PP, try also giving him a bit more real affection when you're alone together - after a long time together we sometimes forget that they need intimacy with us too. My DH's behaviour improves immeasurably when I make an effort to be loving and affectionate. I'm menopausal so I mostly want to throw things but I can do it!

BilboBlaggin · 16/02/2025 08:24

Get one of these OP and wear it all the time in his presence until he gets the message into his thick skull.

Face Shield

AngelinaFibres · 16/02/2025 08:26

JaneFoe · 15/02/2025 23:47

Nostril hair works too.

If you pull the tiny hairs behind the ear it's absolutely excruciating.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 16/02/2025 08:33

But they're like toddlers aren't they, looking for a reaction

Really?

I couldn't date toddler man 🤢

notatinydancer · 16/02/2025 08:33

AltitudeCheck · 16/02/2025 00:45

I think it's a very clumsy (immature) attempt to get attention or physical touch from you. He absolutely shouldn't be doing this and hopefully he has taken on board what you say.

I do think though you need to be aware that he possibly feels ignored or unimportant at the moment and that to keep the relationship strong you might need to talk about the feelings that are driving that behaviour. If you just push him away without digging a bit deeper you're just avoiding the underlying problem.

Wow. So now instead of getting assaulted regularly she just needs to give him attention?
I take it he's an adult ?? Confused

Cottonplease · 16/02/2025 08:33

Duh · 15/02/2025 23:46

I remember a character doing this to his family members in a film (John Travolta in Face Off) and it was weird as fuck to watch but was supposedly inherent to a ‘recognition’ part of the storyline. I never thought anyone would do it in real life. How odd.

The first thing that came into my mind too! Have you seen it OP? It's quite sinister. Watch it with him and then find a creepy quote from the film everytime he does it.
Bloody annoying. It's an invasion of your personal space as it's unwanted. Just weird. Ask him why he does it. Slap his arm away. There must be a self defence technique where you can do this to stop it in its tracks. Sorry nowhere to reference this from but hopefully someone will be along with one shortly.

sorrynotathome · 16/02/2025 08:35

AngelinaFibres · 16/02/2025 08:26

If you pull the tiny hairs behind the ear it's absolutely excruciating.

Did anyone else just try this on themselves?! I felt nothing…

BunnyLake · 16/02/2025 08:42

BellesAndGraces · 16/02/2025 07:16

Why do you keep adding “lol” and laughing emojis to your posts? This is not remotely funny. If this is how you raise it with him I can see why he might be confused because your words say one thing while your “lols” indicate something else.

My DH repeatedly touches me in a way I hate and won’t stop even though I have told him lol 😂. Does that sentence not look odd to you?

OP seems a little manic. Maybe she is trying to kid herself it’s not that bad by adding all the hysterical emojis?

AltitudeCheck · 16/02/2025 08:44

notatinydancer · 16/02/2025 08:33

Wow. So now instead of getting assaulted regularly she just needs to give him attention?
I take it he's an adult ?? Confused

Not at all, but being curious about 'why' somebody does something is never a bad thing, especially in a relationship that (presumably) OP wants / needs to remain in and improve?

Convolvulus · 16/02/2025 08:47

I don't understand why you haven't been pushing his hand away every time?

PoltergeistsStartLowKey · 16/02/2025 08:49

Thankgodforwine · 16/02/2025 00:15

I mean I'm not going to leave him that's like going from 1 to 100 .....

You are missing the point. You wouldn't be leaving because of the behaviour but because what it represents.

This might be why he has many many irritating things he does. You are not putting him straight at the time but just letting it happen to you.

If he doesn't stop doing it, you have no plan either.

Mumof2heroes · 16/02/2025 08:50

Thankgodforwine · 15/02/2025 23:50

I told him today if he done it again he was getting a punch to the balls ....he done it again a couple of hours later ...it's so weird. Obvs didn't punch him in the balls because I'm not evil lol

Why not? He deserved it but now he knows there's no consequences.

Honestly though, I would be having a quiet and calm word about how this makes me feel and be asking him what exactly is his reasoning for this strange behaviour

ssd · 16/02/2025 08:50

Why do posters insist on telling us their dh is a great guy when its obvious he's an obnoxious wanker??

CrowsInMyGarden · 16/02/2025 08:50

@Duh I was just about to mention the Face Off film. That was so irritating to watch wasn't it? Watched it bloody years ago but it was first thing I thought of when saw OP's post. You are not going mad OP, your partner is being rude, continuing to do something you have told him you don't like.

Sherararara · 16/02/2025 08:52

Who knows how it started but presumably he does it now as a power thing because you tell him to stop and threaten him with consequences which never happen. Ie you are a pushover. You need to stop being so soft and assert some boundaries or he will continue to walk all over you.

holidayaway · 16/02/2025 08:53

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 15/02/2025 23:56

Why are you laughing about this?

This. It’s not funny. It’s bloody horrible to do something to someone you know they hate. He doesn’t respect you OP.

TheWombatleague · 16/02/2025 09:00

Could you drag your feet around and build up a static charge?

Idontgiveashitanymore · 16/02/2025 09:02

I would grab his balls and tell him if he does it again you will stab them with a fork the next time

thepariscrimefiles · 16/02/2025 09:07

KhakiOrca · 16/02/2025 00:57

YABU
He is cherishing you.

And you are being ridiculous. OP has repeatedly told him how much she hates it but he is still doing it.

LookItsMeAgain · 16/02/2025 09:08

I will go back and read the whole thread but the next time he does it, lick his hand as he does it, or perhaps get a water spray bottle (like the ones that squirts a mist of water rather than a squeezy bottle that delivers a jet of water) and squirt his face when he does it. Each time he does it, he gets water on his face.
He'll soon stop.

Bogartysmack79 · 16/02/2025 09:10

Omg! Swipe his arm away and shout "f" and then go out for a while,cold shoulder treatment. Then state you've had enough of it now and go to bed early. 😡

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