My husband keeps touching my full face...WTF

[Thankgodforwine]

My husband randomly runs his hand down the front of my entire face.....he knows it annoys the fuck out of me ...but he keeps doing it. When I voice my annoyance/rage, he makes it out as if it's "me"problem.
He is a great guy and dad....amazing husband and provider but ...WTF, is it me or is this normal. For context and to avoid drip feeding, I'm not a fan of human contact...like hugging etc ...some may say I'm awkward...but a hand to the full face ...surely nobody likes this, also his hands are sweaty as fuck, no joke ...these hands are damp. Am I being unreasonable, please say I am not 🤣

You need to get seriously cross with him. Tell him you are fed up with him disrespecting you like this. Ask him why he thinks it’s ok for him to keep doing something that you’ve repeatedly told him you dislike.

Next time he does it, bite him. Then tell him that's a him problem. He'll soon stop.

It’s abusive. Hand over your eyes and mouth - it’s reminding you what he can do if he chose to. I’d stop lol’ing if I were you

You are not the only person to find all the lols really bizarre. I dont think it's remotely funny or jokey, this is actually quite creepy behaviour but I wonder if this is intended to provoke and annoy. Because most people seem to see this is a bit disturbing how he is acting while OP is treating it as a hilarious thing. It's all very odd.

I have to agree, my sister used to do this, it was nearly like a manic defence reaction, it made me worry

That aside no he shouldn't be doing that to you OP... my vanity about how much I spend on make up & his sweaty, dirty hands aside, you've told him you don't like it, why isn't he listening? I don't like holding hands in public, my son not included & guess what my OH accepts this, unless I'm walking on cobblestones in heels

Out of interest OP, why is this becoming an issue now after 20+ years? Has it increased in frequency or do his bald patch and belly make the rest of the package not worth putting up with it?

Rubbing his hand down my face would be a turn off from day one, so I am not defending him. It reminds me of the few weeks I spent dating my (quote unquote) I first thought dream guy, except after a week he started biting me as his way of showing affection. It was awful. For a few days I thought that was his quirk and it was fine, but I quickly realised that whenever we were together I was in a state of tension as to when I would be bitten next, or where. He had to go.

I have no idea how you have got to 20 years before raising this, though face rubbing and biting are different I guess. Still both bloody annoying.

I did tonight so hopefully that's the end

I would hate that and I think it would activate a slap reflex on my part
YANBU

We are similar, I hate public affection apart from my children obviously

This has not been going on for 20+ years we have been together this long

You need to tell him properly how much you dislike it without playing it down.

DP used to smack my bum when I was cooking, it made me jump and he’d laugh, I’d laugh at him laughing but told him afterwards I hated it. He’d appear to listen then do it again.

He did it again one day and I stopped what I was doing and made sure I sounded and looked serious and told him to stop fucking assaulting me, I said he knew I didn’t consent to it or enjoy it so it had to stop NOW.

He sincerely apologised and did go to do it again the day after but then seemed to remember and stopped himself. I do think the words I used were kind of extreme but they worked.

DP is autistic and doesn’t read cues and needs things spelled out plainly, unless your husband is the same he’s no excuse, even if he is he needs to fucking stop it. Stop minimising it with the LOLS, how would he feel if you kept going up to him and squeezing his balls when you knew he hates it? Would you see that as reasonable behaviour?

Being with someone a long time isn’t an excuse either, I’ve been with DP 11 years and we both do things that piss each other off and have bad habits. The difference is when we become aware of it we try to change, you need respect in order to have a healthy relationship.

I would find that a very aggressive action. It is horrible, especially when you have repeatedly asked him to stop.

IT IS ABUSIVE.
You aren't taking him repeatedly violating your boundaries seriously.

Being married does not mean be can touch you however he wants.

This is very disrespectful, boundary-crossing behaviour.

Nasty and deliberate actions designed to upset you.

As usual the OP, proceeds to tell us what a wonder man, husband and father he is whilst repeatedly assaulting her when he has clearly been asked to stop.

Nasty twat.

Sorry, I did see that but assumed this was just part of him.

So you mean one day he just decided that for years you have secretly wanted his paws dragging down your face? I wonder if he just needs talking to. Does even he enjoy this or has he just been told that women like it?

I hope someone has gave him this horrendous advice and he's ran with it and after tonight this is the end

He’s a POS, he’s ignoring your personal space and it’s really disrespectful. I’d tell him if he did it again I kick where it hurts and if he did it again I would kick him in the balls. You forewarned him. I don’t know it is about men that are always trying to make you feel insignificant but there are just too many of them. Ugh

Don’t allow that disrespect, stop it now.

I promise you I am not afraid

So pour boiling water over his head. It doesn’t get better if you don’t stop it now.

I think it's a very clumsy (immature) attempt to get attention or physical touch from you. He absolutely shouldn't be doing this and hopefully he has taken on board what you say.

I do think though you need to be aware that he possibly feels ignored or unimportant at the moment and that to keep the relationship strong you might need to talk about the feelings that are driving that behaviour. If you just push him away without digging a bit deeper you're just avoiding the underlying problem.

My husband did this a couple of times to wind me up a couple of years ago. He thought he was being funny. It soon stopped after I pulled loads of saliva into my mouth and gave his hand the most disgusting, slobbery lick. He learnt his lesson pretty quickly.

Thank you for your advice ❤️

Then why the laughter at something so emphatically unfunny?

How would he react if you did those things?

Is he vain about his hair? (If he has any!). You could cut a little bit off when he’s asleep for every time he does this (at the back, obvs). See how long it takes until he twigs. When he does, just say, airily, “Yes, it was me. You didn’t respect my bodily autonomy, so I thought I’d do the same.”

That might give him pause!