Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Couple held in Iran

660 replies

StrawDonkey · 15/02/2025 16:44

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c626p6pz7xlo

AIBU to not understand why anyone would go on a motorcycle trip to Iran? Advice is not to go there at all but I can understand that someone desperate to see family would take a risk.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Iloveautumnwinterchristmas · 19/02/2025 10:37

RetroTotty · 18/02/2025 12:28

A judiciary spokesperson said that the couple, both aged 52, had "enter Iran under the guise of tourists" and "gathered information in multiple provinces of the country".

From the BBC news website.

These people really are prime candidates for the Darwin Awards.

BlondiePortz · 19/02/2025 10:38

It does feel a bit 'we are westerners and we are here to dictate how you should be living because we have the answers'

loopyloo52 · 19/02/2025 10:40

They knew the risks and chose to ignore them, I have little sympathy I'm afraid. But what is more annoying is that we are now wasting a load of UK consulate resources trying to sort their mess out.

Arraminta · 19/02/2025 10:44

DeepFatFried · 19/02/2025 10:37

I feel very sorry for every innocent person incarcerated in the jails of despotic non-democracies. Horrendous.

And they may be there for years.

Iran is so politically charged now, not just the internal regime of their Islamic republic, but a glance over the World News pages over the last year shows what a tinderbox the whole region is. And therefore how knife edge the relationship with the West.

Their trip seems to have made them easy to identify and grab. They are hostages. Collateral. A ‘just in case’ card held by Iran.

As such I am frustrated that people, at this time, not only put themselves at risk but actually added to the risk of UK security - albeit in a small way. But they are hostages and will likely be used as such.

Against the UK, a country they left in 2019 for ‘a better quality of life’.

On a separate note, I find the whole premise distasteful. That they ‘discover’ that oh, how surprising, people in these other countries are actually lovely! The educated, cultured Iranians have a long long history of literature, poetry and art that enables them to illuminate themselves, thank you very much. They don’t need a Western traveller to validate them. It’s all a bit Colonial and Noble Savage. And patronising.

Why shouldn’t a Mullah be a kind and well mannered hospitable person? Especially in a hospitable culture? Unless you have the view that all Muslims are evil? Imagine an ‘oh wow, how polite was a Cotswolds vicar, AMAZING!’ post by an American tourist…

None of that makes it ok for them or any person to be captured and held hostage / ill treated. They must be terrified. Alongside every innocent person held by regimes where human rights are not recognised.

Sadly, horribly for them, because their currency is high as bargaining chips, I don’t feel optimistic about diplomatic negotiations to free them.

But I hope I am wrong

Edited

Yes, they were incredibly patronising and belittling toward the Iranian people they 'connected' with. They were just displaying their White Saviour complex. No doubt the mullah was far more cultured and educated than either of those fools.

ImmediateReaction · 19/02/2025 10:49

DeepFatFried · 19/02/2025 10:37

I feel very sorry for every innocent person incarcerated in the jails of despotic non-democracies. Horrendous.

And they may be there for years.

Iran is so politically charged now, not just the internal regime of their Islamic republic, but a glance over the World News pages over the last year shows what a tinderbox the whole region is. And therefore how knife edge the relationship with the West.

Their trip seems to have made them easy to identify and grab. They are hostages. Collateral. A ‘just in case’ card held by Iran.

As such I am frustrated that people, at this time, not only put themselves at risk but actually added to the risk of UK security - albeit in a small way. But they are hostages and will likely be used as such.

Against the UK, a country they left in 2019 for ‘a better quality of life’.

On a separate note, I find the whole premise distasteful. That they ‘discover’ that oh, how surprising, people in these other countries are actually lovely! The educated, cultured Iranians have a long long history of literature, poetry and art that enables them to illuminate themselves, thank you very much. They don’t need a Western traveller to validate them. It’s all a bit Colonial and Noble Savage. And patronising.

Why shouldn’t a Mullah be a kind and well mannered hospitable person? Especially in a hospitable culture? Unless you have the view that all Muslims are evil? Imagine an ‘oh wow, how polite was a Cotswolds vicar, AMAZING!’ post by an American tourist…

None of that makes it ok for them or any person to be captured and held hostage / ill treated. They must be terrified. Alongside every innocent person held by regimes where human rights are not recognised.

Sadly, horribly for them, because their currency is high as bargaining chips, I don’t feel optimistic about diplomatic negotiations to free them.

But I hope I am wrong

Edited

Indeed western couple validating Mullah and other Iranian people. I'm sure there are many lovely people in Iran living under a dreadful regime.

ImmediateReaction · 19/02/2025 10:51

As someone else said Darwin Award winners. Well done, slow hand clap 👏

MuffinSpencer · 19/02/2025 10:53

I really hate it when people say “well you shouldn’t have..” when something goes wrong. And at the end of the day, people should be able to go anywhere and be safe; it’s really sad that’s not the case.

But even I said “what the fuck were they thinking” as soon as I saw this on the news

MuffinSpencer · 19/02/2025 10:54

And on another note its actually really sad because a lot of ancient Iranian culture is really interesting/beautiful. I would love to go if it was a safe place to travel to.

BakewellTart66 · 19/02/2025 11:41

Drylogsonly · 18/02/2025 19:35

Idiots. Unless they’re actually spies. Which they could be .

Spies would surely more discreet than this pair. They do (spies) work in intelligence, after all.
No self respecting spy is likely to use social media to announce their intention to interview Iranians on how they rate their lives and level of happiness.

NotMuchOfABargain · 19/02/2025 11:48

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 18/02/2025 19:28

Absolute fools both of them. Such an arrogant pair of twats. The sort of 'look how much we travel, aren't we so amazing, we're so worldly wise' type of bores who think they're 'better people' because they travel a lot.

IDGAF what happens to them and really hope this country washes their hands of them! They made their bed. I agree with other posters... they are arrogant and entitled idiots. Let them sort their own shit out.

I have seen a few news items on them this past 2 days, and they appear to be attention-seeking, publicity hungry, fame whores who are desperate to be seen. Well, they have got their 'fame' now! Bet it's not the sort they wanted though. Every single person I have spoke to, or seen talking about this, is laughing at them, and thinks they're pathetic morons.

.

Edited
Show quote history

‘they're pathetic morons’

However irresponsible they been (and they really have), I hope that their poor families don’t stumble across threads like this.

MuffinSpencer · 19/02/2025 12:02

NotMuchOfABargain · 19/02/2025 11:48

‘they're pathetic morons’

However irresponsible they been (and they really have), I hope that their poor families don’t stumble across threads like this.

Show quote history

Completely agree - just because someone has made a perhaps misguided decision, doesn’t mean they deserve to be held in an Iranian prison under no doubt terrible conditions.

You don’t have to like them to feel empathy for this couple and their families.

Arcticrival · 19/02/2025 12:17

MuffinSpencer · 19/02/2025 12:02

Completely agree - just because someone has made a perhaps misguided decision, doesn’t mean they deserve to be held in an Iranian prison under no doubt terrible conditions.

You don’t have to like them to feel empathy for this couple and their families.

Show quote history

The FCDO guidance is clear that being held in an Iranian prison is EXACTLY what is likely to happen if people travel against advice and go to Iran.

Horrendous situation of course, but this could all have been easily avoided if they hadn't been so arrogant and thought the advice/rules/guidance didn't apply to them.

Was reading last night about 3 French teachers who have been held for 3 or so years now, also on charges of spying.

samarrange · 19/02/2025 12:31

I am scratching my head a bit at the people who say they "do not care" and then add a weakly-worded caveat saying "but I hope no harm comes to them". The whole point of their predicament is that they are facing a long period of imprisonment in a country where they speak not one word of the language, with the possible additions of torture and/or a death sentence. It's not like they got stuck up a mountain and are now starting a GoFundMe to pay for the rescue helicopter.

Yes, they shouldn't have gone. But they did. They now have to deal with that, and so does the UK government, and so in a very tiny way do all of us. We can choose (or not) to care about them as human beings, just as we can choose (or not) to think that children drowning in the Channel is a bad thing regardless of our position on immigration.

I should declare an interest here, because like a previous poster I know this couple socially a little bit. We are not super-close friends, and they live a long way away now, but we keep up on social media. And yes, when I found out they were going to Iran I thought "Erm, OK, good luck with that". But in real life they really are exactly like on the videos: Relentlessly upbeat, sometimes to excess. If you had asked me a few years ago "Which of your circle of friends would be most likely to go to Iran and get taken hostage", they would have been right at the top of the list. It's all very sad and I hope they will be able to come home soon.

ImmediateReaction · 19/02/2025 12:43

samarrange · 19/02/2025 12:31

I am scratching my head a bit at the people who say they "do not care" and then add a weakly-worded caveat saying "but I hope no harm comes to them". The whole point of their predicament is that they are facing a long period of imprisonment in a country where they speak not one word of the language, with the possible additions of torture and/or a death sentence. It's not like they got stuck up a mountain and are now starting a GoFundMe to pay for the rescue helicopter.

Yes, they shouldn't have gone. But they did. They now have to deal with that, and so does the UK government, and so in a very tiny way do all of us. We can choose (or not) to care about them as human beings, just as we can choose (or not) to think that children drowning in the Channel is a bad thing regardless of our position on immigration.

I should declare an interest here, because like a previous poster I know this couple socially a little bit. We are not super-close friends, and they live a long way away now, but we keep up on social media. And yes, when I found out they were going to Iran I thought "Erm, OK, good luck with that". But in real life they really are exactly like on the videos: Relentlessly upbeat, sometimes to excess. If you had asked me a few years ago "Which of your circle of friends would be most likely to go to Iran and get taken hostage", they would have been right at the top of the list. It's all very sad and I hope they will be able to come home soon.

Apparently there are 3 teachers from France held there, similar charges https://english.aawsat.com/world/5113757-macron-meets-families-3-french-nationals-detained-iran

Do they not keep up to date with what's going on in the world? Are the really that naive and unaware of anything but themselves?

ImmediateReaction · 19/02/2025 12:46

samarrange · 19/02/2025 12:31

I am scratching my head a bit at the people who say they "do not care" and then add a weakly-worded caveat saying "but I hope no harm comes to them". The whole point of their predicament is that they are facing a long period of imprisonment in a country where they speak not one word of the language, with the possible additions of torture and/or a death sentence. It's not like they got stuck up a mountain and are now starting a GoFundMe to pay for the rescue helicopter.

Yes, they shouldn't have gone. But they did. They now have to deal with that, and so does the UK government, and so in a very tiny way do all of us. We can choose (or not) to care about them as human beings, just as we can choose (or not) to think that children drowning in the Channel is a bad thing regardless of our position on immigration.

I should declare an interest here, because like a previous poster I know this couple socially a little bit. We are not super-close friends, and they live a long way away now, but we keep up on social media. And yes, when I found out they were going to Iran I thought "Erm, OK, good luck with that". But in real life they really are exactly like on the videos: Relentlessly upbeat, sometimes to excess. If you had asked me a few years ago "Which of your circle of friends would be most likely to go to Iran and get taken hostage", they would have been right at the top of the list. It's all very sad and I hope they will be able to come home soon.

At least the being upbeat will help them whilst held, they will need to stay positive. Hopefully there will be some news on their position again soon. People will be working hard to release them. Although of course Iran now has been given a bargaining chip. Maybe this will put off similar people considering going.

username299 · 19/02/2025 13:17

Do they not keep up to date with what's going on in the world? Are the really that naive and unaware of anything but themselves?

People have no idea what happens in some countries and are woefully naive. I worked in authoritarian regimes and my phone was tapped, I was reported to the police, there were embedded police and I was under strict instructions not to criticise the regime or contradict their versions of history.

You play by the rules or you could disappear into jail, where you had no right to legal representation, to rot.

I have no idea what they thought they were doing.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/02/2025 13:21

@samarrange Yes, they shouldn't have gone. But they did. They now have to deal with that, and so does the UK government, and so in a very tiny way do all of us. We can choose (or not) to care about them as human beings, just as we can choose (or not) to think that children drowning in the Channel is a bad thing regardless of our position on immigration.

Nah sorry. I sympathise with children drowning in the channel because they have not chosen to be there and they and their parents are usually trying to escape a tortuous fate not willfully placing themselves in the middle of one. And your take of "oh what are they like?! Ending up in prison in a banned country is just so them" is also making it hard to enduce sympathy.

Not sure why it annoys you that some of us are hoping for no harm to come to them. I can hope for the opposite for them if you like but it's a strange thing to wish on your friends.

Arcticrival · 19/02/2025 13:31

ImmediateReaction · 19/02/2025 12:43

Apparently there are 3 teachers from France held there, similar charges https://english.aawsat.com/world/5113757-macron-meets-families-3-french-nationals-detained-iran

Do they not keep up to date with what's going on in the world? Are the really that naive and unaware of anything but themselves?

Show quote history

They knew exactly what was going on in Iran. They were not naive in any way. They knew the FCDO advice was DO NOT TRAVEL TO IRAN but thought they were special and chose to go anyway.

They made a choice, despite the advice not to go. It wasn't a mishap, an ill judged choice on the spur of the moment, they didn't just stumble across the border accidentally. They thought about it for weeks and CHOSE to go to Iran.

Actions have consequences

TailLikeaMonkey · 19/02/2025 13:32

For the people on this thread that do know the couple, do you know how they are coping with the situation? If they are relentlessly upbeat, they may be more resilient and accepting of their current circumstances that most people would be.

Arraminta · 19/02/2025 13:40

NotMuchOfABargain · 19/02/2025 11:48

‘they're pathetic morons’

However irresponsible they been (and they really have), I hope that their poor families don’t stumble across threads like this.

Show quote history

I doubt it's telling their families anything they don't already know.

Arcticrival · 19/02/2025 13:46

TailLikeaMonkey · 19/02/2025 13:32

For the people on this thread that do know the couple, do you know how they are coping with the situation? If they are relentlessly upbeat, they may be more resilient and accepting of their current circumstances that most people would be.

Hopefully they are coping well in the circumstances. But I'd say it's unlikely they will be able to have any contact with their families. Any updates will just be from the Iranian authorities, which won't necessarily be reliable.

ImmediateReaction · 19/02/2025 15:30

TailLikeaMonkey · 19/02/2025 13:32

For the people on this thread that do know the couple, do you know how they are coping with the situation? If they are relentlessly upbeat, they may be more resilient and accepting of their current circumstances that most people would be.

How could they possibly know. No insta or FB available for them to share every minute thought they might have, as they usually do.

Maybe Iran will allow them to use their flash cards though to share when they are tired, frustrated or happy 😊

samarrange · 19/02/2025 16:20

As I mentioned I don't know them all that well — literally all our contact since they moved to Spain has been via social media.

But I don't think even their immediate family (from memory they have one son and one stepson) knows any more than what has been reported in the media. Perhaps they will have heard something from the UK's ambassador, but I don't know if he has even met Craig and Lindsay personally. There is absolutely no benefit to the regime in letting them send messages to the outside world, and even if they did we would have to assume they were made under duress.

potatopaws · 19/02/2025 16:22

samarrange · 19/02/2025 16:20

As I mentioned I don't know them all that well — literally all our contact since they moved to Spain has been via social media.

But I don't think even their immediate family (from memory they have one son and one stepson) knows any more than what has been reported in the media. Perhaps they will have heard something from the UK's ambassador, but I don't know if he has even met Craig and Lindsay personally. There is absolutely no benefit to the regime in letting them send messages to the outside world, and even if they did we would have to assume they were made under duress.

Aren’t there photos of them meeting the british ambassador in Iran? I’m sure I saw one.

ERthree · 19/02/2025 16:35

NotMuchOfABargain · 19/02/2025 11:48

‘they're pathetic morons’

However irresponsible they been (and they really have), I hope that their poor families don’t stumble across threads like this.

Show quote history

I am sure their families have called them worse in the last week or so. I have every sympathy for their families, i can only imagine the hell they must be going through, they must swing from despair to anger and back again every hour of the day.

Swipe left for the next trending thread