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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couple held in Iran

660 replies

StrawDonkey · 15/02/2025 16:44

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c626p6pz7xlo

AIBU to not understand why anyone would go on a motorcycle trip to Iran? Advice is not to go there at all but I can understand that someone desperate to see family would take a risk.

OP posts:
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Porcuporpoise · 18/02/2025 21:28

samarrange · 18/02/2025 21:07

This. I don't think they have been arrested because of anything specific that they did; they will have been earmarked for the hostage pile the day they arrived at the border. The Iranian police were probably laughing their heads off knowing that they were going to pick them up once their visits to multiple cities had established a (paper-thin, of course) set of evidence of "spying".

I disagree. I can't think of anything more likely to get you arrested for espionage than travelling around Iran interviewing people and gathering information to publish.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 18/02/2025 21:31

@GreenApplesRedApplesYellowApples

I'm getting a bit fed up with being told that those of us whose hearts are not breaking on behalf of this pair are terrible people.

The fact is I think they are some of the most stupid, arrogant fools on this face on the planet and I have very little sympathy for them. I also do not wish any
taxpayers money to be wasted on them but if their family want to crowdfund to secure their release then I wish them luck.

I would say all of this to their faces.

BUT I wish them no harm, torment, torture, injury or death. I do not believe this is me "crowing about my lack of compassion".

Totallymessed · 18/02/2025 21:54

I do feel sorry for them, they will be going through hell. But they were unbelievably naive/stupid. People do visit Iran as tourists (I personally wouldn't, but people do). But entering overland, on a tourist visa? And then travelling around interviewing locals and asking them if they're happy? The naivity is mind-boggling, tbh. And then being in their 50s also just makes me think... what the fuck were you thinking?

But, it's too late now. I hope they are ok, and hope even more that they haven't put the locals they talked to at risk. There's so much of this on social media, westerners traveling to dangerous or repressive countries, apparently thinking that they're immune from the risks because of their passports. Often they get away with it.

So, hopefully they'll get released, after however much time it takes. Being charged with espionage when the Iranian regime are angry with the UK for the support of Israel isn't good though. Particularly as Trump is unlikely to be interested in getting involved.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 18/02/2025 21:56

Hortus · 18/02/2025 21:21

You're just too kind hearted.
I'm someone who you think doesn't exist. I think about them being incarcerated and I still have no sympathy whatsoever because they completely brought it upon themselves. It's completely different to climbing a dangerous mountain etc because in those circumstances there isn't official government advice telling you not to do it. Obviously if someone decided to climb against all weather forecasts and advice from other experienced climbers and got injured or killed I wouldn't have any sympathy for them either.
I have sympathy for this moronic couple's family who by all accounts told them not to do it, but none at all for the two individuals, and I'd say that to their face.
It's the height of idiocy and selfishness to waft around thinking that because you're a hippy dippy loony that somehow FCO advice doesn't apply to you.

100% this.

I do not care about this pair. Genuinely 100% Do NOT. CARE. I don't know them, I don't want to know them, they have brought it on themselves, and I don't care if no-one helps them. They chose to do what they did, and they can 100% deal with the consequences.

As I said, I save my compassion for people who deserve it, not people who are so desperate for fame and social media views, and for people to look at them, that they will buzz off to another country, and ignore and break all the rules for internet 'likes.' Pathetic, attention-seeking, wannabes who need to deal with the shit they have landed themselves in. There is no 'expected internet talk' from me. It's exactly how I feel. And I have said as much to everyone I have spoken to about it in real life.

Like a pp said, I don't wish harm or anything bad on them, I don't wish anything on them. I simply do not care about them. If this is me 'crowing about my lack of compassion,' then I'll wear that badge.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 18/02/2025 22:04

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway Maybe we cold hearted posters can all form a club and all wear "crowing about our lack of compassion" badges to prove our membership? The sanctimonious compassionate posters might need smelling salts at the thought though.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 18/02/2025 22:17

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 18/02/2025 22:04

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway Maybe we cold hearted posters can all form a club and all wear "crowing about our lack of compassion" badges to prove our membership? The sanctimonious compassionate posters might need smelling salts at the thought though.

😁

LSTMS30555 · 19/02/2025 07:03

They fucked around and found out 🤷🏻‍♀️

TailLikeaMonkey · 19/02/2025 08:16

They will be held as leverage by Iran, who will no doubt demand a prisoner exchange for their release (or other significant concession).

Utter madness. Seems the Iran authorities were on to them pretty quickly and they just played into their hands. They were 'gathering information' obviously innocuously they have given the Iranian authorities arguably 'legitimate' grounds to detain them.

I would say I have empathy for them rather than sympathy. They are no doubt going through hell and it could continue for years. They seem like harmless decent people just woefully naive and lacking any form of real world risk awareness.

I sometimes wonder if the world is going to through a collective stupidity.

TailLikeaMonkey · 19/02/2025 08:22

I mean it's like swimming outside the shark nets in Sharm el Sheikh, pasted in the guts and blood of dead fish and then being surprised you get eaten by a shark.

Justalittlehandhold · 19/02/2025 08:28

TailLikeaMonkey · 19/02/2025 08:16

They will be held as leverage by Iran, who will no doubt demand a prisoner exchange for their release (or other significant concession).

Utter madness. Seems the Iran authorities were on to them pretty quickly and they just played into their hands. They were 'gathering information' obviously innocuously they have given the Iranian authorities arguably 'legitimate' grounds to detain them.

I would say I have empathy for them rather than sympathy. They are no doubt going through hell and it could continue for years. They seem like harmless decent people just woefully naive and lacking any form of real world risk awareness.

I sometimes wonder if the world is going to through a collective stupidity.

I don’t believe they were in any way naive, I think they were headstrong and idiotic. They thought they knew best!

notatinydancer · 19/02/2025 08:33

NotTerfNorCis · 15/02/2025 17:33

I have sympathy. They obviously had a naively optimistic view of human nature. They aren't bad people.

Not bad just stupid.
Why would you be so naive and arrogant to go against Foreign Office arvice ?

ImmediateReaction · 19/02/2025 08:34

Did you see the news report today. The silly cards they flash as they read them grinning along, 'I'm happy' 'I'm frustrated ' it's like kids at school. The pair of them look very attention seeking, they have lots of attention now, very infamous.

Westfacing · 19/02/2025 08:40

They'll have another 15 minutes of fame when they're eventually released... breakfast TV and Daily Mail sad-face interviews.

I hope they're freed soon before they get too famous, and too much F&CO time is spent on them.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/02/2025 08:45

@Westfacing Hopefully when that inevitably happens they'll get someone like Dickie Madeley who'll tell them straight what twits they are, rather than Lorraine Kelly who'd tell them that they look great and are both very brave.

sashh · 19/02/2025 08:52

saraclara · 18/02/2025 12:38

My scarf never covered all of my hair, and as I'm not generally a scarf wearer, I wasn't good at it and a lot of the time it was slipping and similar to the way the fashion conscious girls were theirs. But I had no trouble or disapproval at all. One day it slipped off completely and a passer by just gently tapped my elbow and pointed.

But as I said, the rule has probably been tightened recently.

Interesting. Thank you.

VivaDixie · 19/02/2025 09:01

Unfortunately if you take the charges literally then they haven't got a leg to stand on. Because they were in fact 'gathering information '. Only the Iranians interpretation of this is far more sinister than their naive folly.

I know people like this, who are so bougie they think something like this would be a life enriching adventure and we normal people are all too 'risk averse'.

They must be going through hell but it is of their own making. They should have known what they were getting into.

Sarah2891 · 19/02/2025 09:17

In January a Swiss man being held on espionage charges in Iran killed himself. Or so they say.

This couple are going to need all the luck they can get.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2025/1/9/swiss-national-held-by-iran-on-spying-charges-dies-in-jail

CerealPosterHere · 19/02/2025 09:19

Dh has spent a lot of time in Iran with work in the past. Not for 20 years following a visit from some interesting international individuals who advised his company to stop helping Iran build a power station. 🙈. Says it’s a beautiful country but he reckons this couple won’t be getting released anytime soon.

Developedanillness · 19/02/2025 09:33

It's strange, although I've said on here the same as pretty much every other poster, I woke up in the early hours and couldn't help but wonder where they are, what utter hell they're going through, the realization of how utterly stupid, reckless and arrogant their behavior was. It's pretty unimaginable. Will they have an advocat like NZR's incredible husband I wonder? God what a mess....

TailLikeaMonkey · 19/02/2025 09:36

They wanted to experience the fullness of what Iran has to offer and they are experiencing it.

itsgettingweird · 19/02/2025 09:40

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/02/2025 08:45

@Westfacing Hopefully when that inevitably happens they'll get someone like Dickie Madeley who'll tell them straight what twits they are, rather than Lorraine Kelly who'd tell them that they look great and are both very brave.

I love Madelys openness and straight talking!

As much when he's interviewing twats as when he's interviewing people who have done great. He was brilliant with Niambh (excuse my spelling) who is a deaf student this morning.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/02/2025 09:54

@itsgettingweird I think I've had a crush of RM for about half my life now! He and Judy presenting This Morning were it's halcyon days. Never really watched it since.

EsmaCannonball · 19/02/2025 10:09

I do feel a bit of sympathy for them but I would feel more sympathy if they were actual spies or journalists or human rights campaigners who entered the country knowing all the risks but putting their personal safety second to a bigger cause. The problem I have with these two is that they were determined to prove that the risk is overblown.

potatopaws · 19/02/2025 10:11

I feel very sorry for them and guess they are victims of their own sheltered existence.

I’m assuming they’ve had very fortunate, safe and comfortable lives, and at some level were aware of that, hence the determination to ‘get out there and push boundaries’. But that very same good fortune and privilege over their combined 100 years of life experience most likely led them into the unconscious belief that “bad things happen to other people but not to us” and taking foolish risks until their luck inevitably ran out.

A cruel awakening indeed.

There must be a Greek drama somewhere about this kind of tempting of fate.

DeepFatFried · 19/02/2025 10:37

I feel very sorry for every innocent person incarcerated in the jails of despotic non-democracies. Horrendous.

And they may be there for years.

Iran is so politically charged now, not just the internal regime of their Islamic republic, but a glance over the World News pages over the last year shows what a tinderbox the whole region is. And therefore how knife edge the relationship with the West.

Their trip seems to have made them easy to identify and grab. They are hostages. Collateral. A ‘just in case’ card held by Iran.

As such I am frustrated that people, at this time, not only put themselves at risk but actually added to the risk of UK security - albeit in a small way. But they are hostages and will likely be used as such.

Against the UK, a country they left in 2019 for ‘a better quality of life’.

On a separate note, I find the whole premise distasteful. That they ‘discover’ that oh, how surprising, people in these other countries are actually lovely! The educated, cultured Iranians have a long long history of literature, poetry and art that enables them to illuminate themselves, thank you very much. They don’t need a Western traveller to validate them. It’s all a bit Colonial and Noble Savage. And patronising.

Why shouldn’t a Mullah be a kind and well mannered hospitable person? Especially in a hospitable culture? Unless you have the view that all Muslims are evil? Imagine an ‘oh wow, how polite was a Cotswolds vicar, AMAZING!’ post by an American tourist…

None of that makes it ok for them or any person to be captured and held hostage / ill treated. They must be terrified. Alongside every innocent person held by regimes where human rights are not recognised.

Sadly, horribly for them, because their currency is high as bargaining chips, I don’t feel optimistic about diplomatic negotiations to free them.

But I hope I am wrong