That I seem to have a lot of downtime

[Verlaine]

I’m a single (co) parent to a 10 yr old. I have a LOT of spare time, and I don’t really get why when everyone else constantly talks about no time to themselves, to sit down etc

For instance, today I got up about 10 and then most of the day I have just chilled with a light bit of tidying/ cleaning which took 30 mins max.

I'm not being facetious, I keep really worrying that there’s things other people do that I’m not doing. There must be as ‘having no time’ is the number one issue people say they have.

What am I missing?

Having one child is easy.

Err, this is what you said - that's where I got 'easy' from.

I'm not begruding anyone anything, I'm pointing out that people's schedules vary massively and that yours is not typical.

I stand corrected 😂 and apologise!

What does your dc do all day? I’d imagine it’s a lot to do with having just one child …. It’s completely different having a few dcs. All of our kids are very sporty and sociable so there’s always stuff on , also there’s a huge workload of cooking and laundry with multiple children . Also having a job with multiple kids to juggle . There’s just no comparison with one child tbh …

Well I thank my lucky stars I have a few gorgeous kids, it’s lovely too ! I have a wonderful dh also so I can go to the gym, had lovely lie-ins at the weekend. My dcs are a ton of work but absolutely fab . They are a real team and very close. Pluses for us all there op 😂

You co-parent? So part-time.

Ten is pretty easy age, more so if they have a friend to occupy them!
When my kids were that age (I am a lone parent - a widow), there was usually a sports match on a Saturday, at one point they both had them which was a juggle. Then just usual chores of cooking and cleaning, walking the dog, usually went for a swim late afternoon if they hadn't been earlier, home more cooking, etc. The kids were occupied doing homework/friend/chilling out/whatever.
I had plenty of time to sit down for a cup of tea.
But I know some families who like a schedule of activities. Up early, drop kids to footie/ballet/music lesson, they go to the gym or watch the kids, home for lunch then an arranged afternoon activity, supervised homework, chores, dinner etc.
You could be busier if you wanted to be.

I think there are three elements as to why you have so much downtime. 1. An only child 2.He’s 10 3.He spends time at his Dads.

I have a 10 year old and he’s as good as gold on his own, but when you throw his little brother in the mix, things turn to shit. They bicker, wind each other up and shout, scream and make things really stressful. 10 is a good age, in that they’re past the kiddie stage of needing to be entertained and needing help to eat, get dressed, wash etc. But they’re not at the teenage stage of needing to be ferried about so much and being moody and emotional. And yeah assuming he sees his Dad you must have weekends and evenings to yourself fairly regularly which is something many parents don’t have for a good 18 years.

Very interested in the fact you have trained him to bring you tea.

You don’t stop being a parent when your child is in the care of their other parent.

The same as you wouldn’t call yourself a part-time parent because your children go to school.

I too have a lot of free time but that's by choice. Eg Once I've taken ds2 to football and washed his kit, there's plenty of free time.
I thought it was a bit nasty of pp's to say her ds had been ignored. Not all kids need 24/7 entertainment.

@PrincessPeache that poster is just trying to be mean, I’m ignoring them!

Very interested in the fact you have trained him to bring you tea

@Moveoverdarlin would highly recommend. She doesn’t do it under duress - it makes her happy!

I suspect the op wants parents of several children to be frothing with jealousy over all the downtime she has 😂, “ counting her lucky stars she doesn’t have more than one child” . Making us poor parents of more than one regret our decision to have siblings for our dcs . I actually get lots of downtime thanks to my dh and I being a team and giving each other time for sleep-ins , time for running etc but obviously multiple dcs are busier and more work than one …we have just hit teenager stage now tho…

@Sleepishues wow your cage has been rattled. 2 posts in 3 hours on the same thread telling me how happy you are with multiple kids and how wonderful it is to be married to your husband. And then suggesting my thread was trying to show off and incite jealousy. Pot. Kettle

Also, why would you be jealous of me having one child if you wanted more than one and had more than one? Baffling.

Does he have to be entertained 24/7?

I think we’ve got to the bottom of @Sleepishues narkiness here heehee

I think it was the under 10 years that were probably the busiest here. Activities/ family stuff. They're both teens now and it's pretty much like they've left home.

No, more like having poltergeists: you only know they've been here by the tail of destruction thru leave behind.

If I wasn't a teacher of an essay based subject, I'd have lots of downtime now. Not sure I've quite adjusted to the speed in which it happened.

I have one eight year old and get lots of down time (with my husband or without). The three of us have loads of time at home where we are each doing our own thing. Same as my brother, parents and I did when we were growing up. We don’t get lots of chances to go out as a couple without our son, but we do get out and about individually and I imagine anyone with a co-parent can do the same?

But it’s fairly obvious that this only kicks in when the child(ren) is/are NT and old enough to amuse themselves.

No idea why my post was deleted.
As my name suggests I’ve had /have problems with sleep , actually I’ve suffered on and off from insomnia for many years . One of my dcs has high functioning asd and didn’t sleep for years and years so this triggered chronic insomnia for me. Why you screenshot my response to a poster on another thread is extremely weird.
This doesn’t take away from the fact that we absolutely adore our family and my dh and I swap over when we can to free each other up , so swap lie-ins particularly if I’ve been unable to sleep , we both surf and are avid runners so do that at least 4 times a week.
I’m not remotely jealous of you , why would I be ? Why would anyone be ? Im
pointing out that of course you know well that people with 2/3/4 kids are going to generally have less time than someone with 1 child-hence they are probably the ones saying that they are busy to you, I mean it’s obvious.
My children are all older now and although there’s a lot of work in terms of food and housework (agree about the x16 time laundry) , we generally have plenty of time to rest and relax.
I am off work this week and as well as a run this morning , I’ve been able to read a chapter and post on mn and ive 4 kids in the house at the moment but they’ll cycle to their different sports stuff throughout the day. I love having a big family, having issues with sleep doesn’t take away from that!
Being sedentary isn’t for us anyway so don’t need loads of downtime or we climb the walls!

Sheesh take a chill pill @Sleepishues