That I seem to have a lot of downtime

[Verlaine]

I’m a single (co) parent to a 10 yr old. I have a LOT of spare time, and I don’t really get why when everyone else constantly talks about no time to themselves, to sit down etc

For instance, today I got up about 10 and then most of the day I have just chilled with a light bit of tidying/ cleaning which took 30 mins max.

I'm not being facetious, I keep really worrying that there’s things other people do that I’m not doing. There must be as ‘having no time’ is the number one issue people say they have.

What am I missing?

So you've ignored them all day to write a post of here about the wonders of your parenting and how much time it gives you? 🤣🤣🤣

People with no time are busier than you for many reasons, they have younger children, more than 1 child, they have clubs, meet up with friends, work, have a hobby, have a side hustle.

I find it strange that you can't work that out for yourself.

Exactly this.

Very strange to describe your day and not include one thing about your child who was in the same house as you all day.

Yep, very stupid!

It's like sitting there all wide-eyed with amazement wondering how the homeless guy is cold when you're sat in an oodie, inside a double-glazed, central heated house! I mean "oh gosh, how can you be cold?"

During the week we are busy with work, ferrying dc to quite a few clubs, then cooking / clearing up. So at the weekend we have to do housework / laundry / other errands.

There's only 2 of you so the laws of laundry mean I have about 16x times as much washing for 4 people 😉 and I guess you must stay on top of stuff as you go along more than we do.

Having said that we have all been watching Bear Grylls for the last 2 hours 😅

You remind me of a friend of mine. Any time any of us mention any remotely challenging thing relating to parenting, she tells us that she never had that problem because her daughter just never did that.

That is really nice for you that you have a really easy independent child.

Not everyone does and it's not their fault either

So you ignored them all day to write a post of here about the wonders of your parenting and how much time it gives you

dunno about you, but the post took me about, say 30 seconds to write. I think they’re ok with amount of time being ignored.

Some people are so weird….

Yes we've all agreed you are!

HTH

Thanks to those giving me sensible points of view, who are able to express themselves without resorting to insults!

@Completelyjo why do you want me to describe my child to you?!

Sorry I seem to have hit a nerve with you @Tagyoureit. Hope everything is ok x

Well we both work full time - dh self employed so he is often out pricing jobs at weekend mornings, have a dying elderly parent to care for, one child who has a very busy schedule with his sport and we are usually travelling all over the country at the weekend and sometimes abroad as he also plays at national level. Youngest teenage daughter needs dropped to work and picked up and dropped/picked up from parties usually each night of the weekend. With five people at home there is obviously more tidying, washing etc to be done.

I think if it was just me and one child things would be alot less hectic. It's just different lifestyles, you aren't doing anything wrong.

It’s clearly goady to wonder why other parents might have less time than you and then describe your day and everything you’ve done but not even mentioning having a child with you at all while you “just chilled”. Strange behaviour.

Surely this is obvious? If your child doesn’t live with you full time then of course you are going to have more spare time for yourself? Enjoy it I say!

My best friend had a similar set up to you when her daughter was younger. She says she had lots of downtime too. Even got bored often.

I seem to be a lot busier than she was at the same stage. I have 2 children, a husband and a job though. My house definitely seems more chaotic than hers ever was.

I suppose a lot of people don’t just have one child for a start and multiple younger children are more time consuming that one 10 year old.

I have 3 children and when the youngest was 10 and they were all fairly easy and independent, I was still doing school runs, taking them to sports and music lessons, helping them with homework, taking them to the cinema, going shopping, cooking dinner, baking with the etc. That all takes time, I enjoyed it so didn’t complain but it did mean I didn’t have as much downtime as I do now they’re older. Do you not do any of those things?

Nah I agree OP. On days when I just have my 10 yr old I honestly feel so free. She is independent (ish), plays nicely etc. Tidies up.

When her brother is home, the house is mental. Constant mess. He is 5. She also regresses and makes just as much mess when he is around.

One child, age 10 and being lucky? Yes, you get a lot of down time.

Didn't hit a nerve, just got on it.

I find these types of posts weird.

It probably depends on your job - if you work full time in a customer facing role, or something like nursing, hairdressing or teaching where you are on your feet all day then you might have less energy (and for example be unable to carry out any life admin whilst working).

It also depends on the child - I find boys need more to do than girls at age 10.

I think some people do fill their lives up with extra curricular & play dates & sleepovers etc & this means being always 'busy'. The 70s & 80s must have been easier for parents as there was far less going on!

I have to be honest that having one child is soo much easier than two or three or more.

My DD is now two and she's pretty easier - getting easier all the time. I'm pregnant and exhausted but if I wasn't about to have another me and DH would have loads of free time in about a year.

I've heard kids that are 5+ are even easier. So one 10 year old child (particularly if that child is easy natured) is going to be a doddle. I don't think anyone would expect you to be rushed off your feet tbh

Ok you get mother of the year ,give yourself a paper hat and a medal

Hang on, you mentioned having a partner on another thread, and yet on here you're presenting it as if you are the only adult in the house when you're not.

So you've a two adult household with one child who is only there part of the time, and then you wonder why you have more free time than a mother who has no help at home?

I have too much spare time now that mines a teen but I remember the days when I didn’t have any at all so I enjoy it and don’t feel bad about it.

3 kids, one a lot older. 2 parents working full time. Evenings and weekends are spent running kids about to sports clubs, catching up on work. Lots of washing and cleaning and trying to fit in seeing friends, family, homework etc.
not much time left when you do t get back from sports clubs until after lunch.
It's busy but we choose it. It would be very different if we had one child as only one parent would have to be with them at clubs etc. we know this from when we had 12 years with just one child. I don't know what is hard to understand. Most people are busier than you 🤷‍♀️

Don't worry, she doesn't feel bad, she feels superior