Going all out for your kids on valentines day

[Supergirl1958]

Seriously when did that become a thing! Tonight I’ve been told it’s ’on me’ that I feel guilty because it’s splashed all over my social media feeds about the efforts parents have gone to, balloons, presents, cakes, breakfasts for their children on Valentine’s Day?

Like AIU to think it shouldn’t be another thing to pressure parents into feeling guilty? Like the elf and so on!!

I hope you gave her a detention.

I’m with you.
At our school, mums show up with “Valentines Goodie Bags” for their child, at the end of the day, and post pics of “my little valentine” enjoying heart shaped waffles for breakfast and some mega expensive toys/plushies.
I hate it but I still feel guilty when I see all the photos of the school with kids and goodie bags and I know that mine haven’t got anything, because I was out working over school pick up.

I made the decision to send my kids Valentine's cards when the first Valentine's Day rolled around when they were babies. I've done it every year since.

I don't do it for social media (don't use it) or to make other parents feel they should be doing it. To the best of my knowledge, nobody outside our immediate family has any idea that I do it.

The reason I do it is because my sibling always received Valentines cards from 'secret admirers'. There wasn't a year she didn't get one, two or three cards, from about the age of ten to today. I never got one until I met DH. I vowed my kids would never be the person who never got a card.

Really disappointing to see it’s leaked over to the UK also. As with most things super commercialized it started in the U.S.

However I live in the U.S. and also did nothing other than class valentine cards (each child gets a small card and a small sweet or small token toy) and I only did that so my child wasn’t the only one not participating. I did small cards and a lollipop per child. I hate it though! And find it weird.

My own husband and I don’t even celebrate so I’m not going to make it a big deal for my kids. They get enough at Christmas, Birthdays and Easter.

I also felt a bit guilty looking at social media but don’t!! It’s actually odd I think.

I did get DD (17) a crochet magazine she wanted. But would have got it anyway for half term..just happened to coincide.

This!
I NEVER get to pick my son up from school
ever! And it breaks my heart 😢

I’m totally fine with the idea of doing cards and a small token thing, its that it get blown out of all proportion. It’s diluting the meaning of the day!

I made crafts for my DH and waffles for breakfast with my DC. I think it's cute.

its that it get blown out of all proportion. It’s diluting the meaning of the day!

You are choosing to take umbrage/take it personally. Different families do things differently.

When I do the school run, I don't feel guilty because I'm driving an old banger and the parent in front of me is driving a Porche.

When I see parents taking their kids to Lapland before Xmas, I don't feel annoyed because it isn't something I can or want to do.
When my kid's friends spend their school holidays skiing or visiting numerous countries in South America, I don't feel annoyed because we take a short holiday in Spain or France.

You will go through life feeling very unhappy if you compare yourself to what others do.

I'm not sure why you're getting such a hard time on here. We are all different and therefore, different things affect us in different ways.
I agree with you OP- social media creates lots of pressure but it sounds like you've not swayed to and are doing your own thing but it doesn't mean you shouldn't be annoyed to your friend making a snippy comment x

I think people are being harsh because it’s not just social media if your children are the only ones not getting valentines breakfasts, if they are seeing their peers get flowers and toys at pickup (super weird that parents do this!), if all their friends are talking about things. It’s similar to Easter when it used to be get one egg and now it’s really over the top baskets. I hate it because as another poster pointed out it’s another thing for children with low income parents or parents that can’t physically/mentally keep up with all the expectations to miss out on. (Talking about things like class valentines which I hope for everyone sakes don’t make it to the UK).
imagine being the only child to not have the funds to give out cards/treats to your peers. It makes me feel so sad.

Mine "helped" make cards when they were little, and inventing silly valentines rhymes (aka poorly disguised fart jokes). It was all just a bit of fun.

I don't like the consumerism of spending on pointless impersonal stuff that will be forgotten about in a few weeks time, but if your DC like doing crafts or colouring in then it's a nice, free activity the weekend before.

Exactly. Thankyou 🥰

Absolutely! 🤣

I hope you gave her a detention. I just asked her to sit down because she had missed the start of phonics. Now she will never know 'ff'.

It's another thing we seem to have imported from North America. We moved to Canada 18 years ago when the kids were really young and each of them got valentine cards and sweets from everyone in the class. It was a real pain, obviously I did it too the next year so the kids didn't feel bad but I really resented it.

I really hate valentine's day and finally after many years have convinced DP that I'm being serious, and it hasn't been mentioned once in my house.

But even if I did celebrate it, I wouldn't give anything to my kids. For me, valentine's day is a day to celebrate your romantic partner. Just like how mother's day and father's day celebrate mothers and fathers.

‘ff’ is one of the most vital phonemes imo! Bless us all that she may never use it orally in a phrase that ends in ‘off’ 😂

When i was a child valentines was marketed(?) as "sweethearts day" Dad woulda got flowers\chocolates\whatever. for mum...and sign card ??? I dont remember mum get him a card-tho Mum would say was definately from Paul Newman. Then we would go to the bernie inn

I’ve always got my kids a little something and they’re teenagers now! It’s a day to celebrate the ones you love so that’s my justification!

Yes you did. You said "Like AIU to think it shouldn’t be another thing to pressure parents into feeling guilty? "
What I mean is that you're unreasonable to think you need to feel guilty for not taking part. If you are confident in your decisions you don't need to feel bad. I choose to give my children a very small gift on valentine's because I think love is a lovely thing to celebrate. We don't celebrate Halloween because it's all of my least favorite things rolled into one holiday, and I don't feel guilty for not doing it because it doesn't fit with my values, nor do I think that other people who do take part are pressuring me or making me feel guilty.

When will you learn not to outsource your self-worth and validation to social media and 'likes'.

You've been completely had OP. As in they've got you. They've turned you into a consumer-chomping champion if you succumb to this nonsense.

It's not that it's on you. It's that the joke is on you. You're caught up in a never-ending vacuous world of trying to impress other people in an effort to be 'popular' on SM.

What a way to waste your cash and countless valuable hours of keeping up with the Jones'.

Stop now! The most confident people are highly individual thinkers that don't buy brands and don't follow influencers and certainly don't post on SM for likes. Give up this terrible soul-destroying habit. Stop feeding the Facebook/Instagram machine.

I left that world 4 years ago and haven't looked back. It's been such a relief and I love that these days I'm mysterious and no one knows anything about me!

It's on you if you feel guilty about it. I wouldn't let other people's social media posters make me feel guilty about not doing something. Are you feeling guilty because you wanted to do something for Valentines day but couldn't? I got my DD a card, some sweets, a flower and a Teddy but that's only because she makes me a card and ''buys" me a coffee.

What is the argument? Are you angry at your friend and taking it out on posters here?