Going all out for your kids on valentines day

[Supergirl1958]

Seriously when did that become a thing! Tonight I’ve been told it’s ’on me’ that I feel guilty because it’s splashed all over my social media feeds about the efforts parents have gone to, balloons, presents, cakes, breakfasts for their children on Valentine’s Day?

Like AIU to think it shouldn’t be another thing to pressure parents into feeling guilty? Like the elf and so on!!

Do it or don't. It's just social media looking for new concepts to get attention or sell more. We choose not to participate & make Xmas & birthdays special for DC & they learn to make or buy a card & helped to buy something small in return & it's all appreciated.

I think teaching kids (and ourselves) to choose our own adventure & they're not hard done by missing out on the latest social media frenzy is important. DD follows a couple of kids making videos on youtube and we've have to teach her that they're paid to sell things to her, not genuinely celebrating a new occasion every week.

Next it'll be buying kids gifts on mother's day!

If that ever happens, I will question everything that I believe in!

It’s absolutely on you. Do it, or don’t do it. but be happy with the decision you’ve made. Other people are free to do what they want with their children, it’s not about you.

I’ve done a fair bit for dc. I’ve not posted it on social media, I don’t post dc at all on social media. so I think the pp who’ve said ‘it’s all for likes’ can’t be quite right either. Some people just like to do different things to others?

So why make it about one day? I show ‘a little love’ to my child every day.
I guess the argument here is why have any holiday then. And Why does anyone have a birthday or anniversary when they could be celebrated everyday? Showing extra love or taking a day to think about the people you love more doesn’t mean we’re not showing love to them other days

Valentine's Day being hyped up so you spend money, to bring income in between Christmas and Mother's Day.

Just opt out.

That is absolutely not the argument here.

Whaaaat? Thank goodness I’ve never come across this in real life. So weird. Didn’t even know it was a thing now

I don’t know anyone that does all that, thankfully. Our schools are off for half term too. They are having a valentine disco next week though.
I always buy my kids some chocolate. Usually a chocolate orange or a hear shape lolly or something. Didn’t get a chance this year so I would them some bars at the local shop. I think it’s nice to give a little something. I bought my oh beer and chocolate, didn’t even get him a card.

I think a small gesture on the day is okay. I do my kids a different breakfast, with some hearts scattered around the table. I think posting intimate moments on social media isn’t fulfilling, full stop. Sadly it’s common for people to do it for likes and many take pictures with the intention to upload them onto their page. It’s just a sign of the times.

I hope this doesn’t come across judgy, as it’s not my intention, but maybe try having some time off SM. I haven’t been on SM for 5 years (bar Mumsnet 😂) and I do not miss it one bit. I realised I don’t care what old school friends/celebrities/influencers are doing and I don’t care if anyone knows what I do. The ones I do care about, I’ll text or speak over the phone to catch up on family life. It’s horrible feeling the pressure constantly and it’s hard to avoid because SM is designed to be v addictive.

DH and I didn’t even get each other cards 🤣 If I’d have been anywhere near a shop I’d probably have bought some chocs or heart shaped crumpets or something - I’d probably have taken a pic and I might have posted it but I certainly didn’t feel pressured to go to the shop specially or post anything Valentines related. I can’t relate to feeling pressure from socials to do anything these days BUT when I was on mat leave and at home all the time I defo felt it

When's Elf day?

? Who knows!

I think its fine. Many people need something sort of differant to break up their everyday routine.

Totally agree OP. I feel like it's just another thing for women to feel pressured about. But as a PP said, I don't feel a bit guilty not participating. I think I show my children lots of love and support all through the year, and don't feel the need to perform this by buying into some marketing BS about Valentine's Day now also including children.

It doesn’t come across as judgy at all. I think you may be right but I do use it as a reason to keep in touch with relatives, I wouldn’t ordinarily see all the time.
I did once go abroad a not take my phone abroad with me for a two week holiday and it was very liberating!!

I've had people on my SM today posting photos and videos of their cats & dogs receiving cards & gifts 🤣🤣 one lady even posted a card to her dog and posted a video of the postman delivering it 🤣

Then crack on, it’s fine! I’m not saying it’s a bad thing persee but doing it for the likes is slightly disingenuous.

Madness!! 😂😂

Never comes across this but then I don't really do social media (other than Mumsnet!). Right behind the idea of international book giving day though!

In fairness, I don't think Valentine's Day was always a purely romantic couples thing. I recall reading an older children's book, I think it might have been one of the What Katy did series, in which the main character gave handmade valentine's cards to her sisters, and it wasn't presented as anything out of the ordinary.

I agree with your friend that it is on you that you feel guilty. Do you and ignore the shite on social media.

I think there are so many posts on SM that make people feel guilty!
The ones where there is a comparison between csections and natural labour are also awful! We all bloody birthed a human! Why does it matter how we did it! We all deserve to celebrate the fact and pat each other on the back and not want to score brownie points about how it happened ffs!

Just get off social media!

Are you annoyed parents are doing this, or annoyed that your friend said it’s on you that you feel guilty?

I find the waste, commerciality and capitalism of it all is a sad reflection of humanity, but I don’t feel guilty or like I should be participating. I could see a million posts of parents buying thousands of pounds of gifts for their children and I wouldn’t feel guilty. That is on you, as it’s not the other posts that make people feel guilty (because some of us don’t), it’s your perception of them as something to aspire to that you’re not doing.

If social media is making you feel negative feelings like guilt, maybe give it a break for a while.

One of the dc (5) in my class was late this morning but arrived in a dress covered in hearts and her hair in two plaits that separated in the centre to make a heart and a heart helium balloon tied around her wrist.

Nothing surprises me anymore!

My dd (3.5) asked to decorate as I think they had talked about it at nursery but it was just a couple of balloons and some tissue paper hearts. I also got dd and ds some chocolate buttons each. Life is short, and dc are small for a tiny portion of that so I don't really see the harm in indulging them with some chocolate and balloons. And it didn't go on Instagram or anything.