Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

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Dh and I have never been away with out kids not even for a night. I want to suggest a 4 night city break to him but before I do just wondering if you would leave dc of these ages home alone? Grandparents live a couple of miles away and would pop in everyday and happily run my youngest to activities.
DD 19 (holidays so back from uni)
DS 16
DD 13

So long as the eldest is responsible, they can be left in charge.
Not if they are likely to hold a wild party though!

I wouldn't have a problem.

Why not just go away for 1 night?

I think it’s a lot going from zero to 3 nights.

I doubt you’ll be able to fully enjoy yourself for 3 nights if you’re worrying.
1 night locally will allow you to enjoy it more.

@restingbitchface30 surely it depends on the siblings. Maybe some people are remembering what they were like at 19! Also not all siblings listen to each other. I certainly wouldn’t have taken kindly being told what to do by my older brother and we would probably have killed each other 😂

My mum regularly left my brother in charge while she went away. Nothing terrible happened, but he did lord it over me and it's probably a contributing factor to the resentment between us.
This started when we were probably 13 & 17, she'd left him in charge for shorter periods since I was much younger, 7 or 8.

Absolutely fine. You know they're sensible.
Oh, and don't pay the eldest, as some people have suggested. You're a family, they're siblings, they help you out and they help each other out.
Have a good trip!

Yeah I’d do it as long as they’re responsible.

I left DD (14) alone with DSS when we went to Paris.

I wasn't sure, as I'd never left DD before and worried about her getting her bus to school, having dinner, etc.

Couldn't leave her with her only grandparent, as Dmum is 82 and would worry too much.

My own DS (same age as DSS), didn't want to stay at ours for a few days, and his flat is too small, but DSS was happy to come and look after her.

She had the time of her life and think she's like us to do it more. I was more upset than she was.

My parents left me to look after my younger brother, same age difference between us as your eldest and youngest.

I left my kids alone for a week when they were 21 and 17. Their dad was around (divorced). My youngest had just passed his driving test and his friends persuaded him to use my car to take them for a joyride!
Eldest promptly called dad and they were tracked down. No harm done thank goodness but I dread to think what could have happened.
Point is I was 100% sure he was completely responsible

Gosh this thread really shows me how much has changed in 50 years. When I was 10 my parents went to Jersey for a week leaving me at home alone. Worse, my leg was in plaster up to the knee and I was on crutches. It's so touching to see such wonderful examples of caring parenting on Mumsnet.

Pretty sure that would have been considered neglect back in the 70s too, what were your parents thinking?!

My mum and dad left me for ten days to go to Greece when I was fourteen, about two months before I turned fifteen. (Late 1980s) I was fine, just went to school and cooked my own meals, and could work the washing machine, but thinking back they were probably breaking the law too, technically.

I think that as long as your older 2 are sensible, and they don't mind having to look after you youngest, it's perfectly fine.

@LochKatrine "Oh, and don't pay the eldest, as some people have suggested. You're a family, they're siblings, they help you out and they help each other out."

So very, very much this! I think the suggestion of payment is one of the most depressing thing on this thread-and there are many contenders!

I was left home alone for 2 weeks at 15 as my sister wanted to take a friend on holiday. I was terrified at night and slept in my parents room at the front of the house with the lights on. I was pretty much fine apart from that. Until I got a phonecall from my great aunt to say my grandmother was seriously ill in hospital and Dad had to get there. I had no way of contacting them and had no idea where they were. I was contemplating trying to get an announcement on the radio station Dad listened to or going to the police station where he worked to see if anyone could help. I guess in the age of mobile phones it’s not an issue.

I don't understand. Your sister was on holiday, where were your parents?
I was left alone at that age, but I was used to being independent and having responsibility, so it was fine. Everyone is different, though.

My DSis and I were left at home for 5 days at the age of 16 and 18. It was the start of our adult lives and our adult relationship with each other. I’m not exaggerating. We argued all the time as teens, I don’t think we’ve argued once since then. We cooperated and talked and were very responsible.

But our younger sibling went to stay with family.

I have a 13 year old and I wouldn’t inflict him on my older child for 5 days. But he’s quite immature. But also it’s nice for the older two to be adult and responsible and bond, without the 19/20 year old going into parent mode.

Yes, I’d leave them.

We left dds of 16 and 13 for the first time, for 4 days, while attending a wedding in Stockholm. They were fine, but we did know that they were reasonably sensible.

I would with the older two. Not with the 13yo.

If the 19 year old is very sensible and the younger ones don’t have SEN issues then I think it’s absolutely fine .
Their grandparents are nearby so if anything worries or puzzles them they can call their grandparents

Ask her. If your sensible oldest is happy to take responsibility for the other two, than it’s fine. Also, she wouldn’t have full responsibility because she can call on grandparents. Go, enjoy 🙂

I'm an only one and my parents went off on a cruise when I was 15yrs 3 mths. I had a rather lonely week and survived on cornflakes, and spent my time trying to gas moths to make a collection similar to what my Dad had bought on his travels in the Middle East. I very soon gave up and took up reading. Yes your 19 and 16 year olds should be fine. Your 13 year old needs to know that the older ones are there to turn to if required as they are a bit young to be on their own. So it depends on your individual family and only you can determine that.

Check the legality.

...of leaving an adult in a house with a child...?

Yes , definitely against the law.

Definitely can't be having 19 year old adults allowed to have children in their house. Nope.

for leaving an adult to look after 2 teenagers?? 😵‍💫

I’d be more worried about the 16 yr old. At that age I would have relished the opportunity to not have parents in the country but you know your own kids!