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AIBU?

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Original poster

A reset weekend for me and my teenage son 🥹

115 replies

fifimummy · 13/02/2025 00:11

My 13 year old amazing son was diagnosed (shock) with Crohn's disease in December.
It's been brutal honestly and he "failed" according to the hospital a course of liquid feed, and then had 7 weeks of steroids which has been living hell honestly....
I only took him to the GP because of scalp psoriasis and his life has been totally flipped on its head ...
The Prednisolone gave him rage and insomnia, he started vaping, hanging around with people I'd never heard about and also pretty bad depression, I massively fought against the.medication, but he was told they would work miracles....they haven't worked
He's now been prescribed more tablets and has to have infusions.
Anyway that's the backstory
I want to take him away for a weekend.....
Somewhere back to nature maybe, with walks and pretty scenery ....with phones for just an hour
I'd like for him to ride a horse for the first time.....I used to do it loads and it's pure therapy, there's nothing better in my eyes....be around animals and have a fire or barbecue at night....I feel like I need to reset after all the arguing
Can anyone recommend anything? Don't want to do the big things like center parcs etc xx

A reset weekend for me and my teenage son 🥹
OP posts:
shellyleppard · 13/02/2025 00:13

Your poor son sounds like he's had a rough few months. What about youth hostel? Or center parcse sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 to you both x

niadainud · 13/02/2025 00:18

shellyleppard · 13/02/2025 00:13

Your poor son sounds like he's had a rough few months. What about youth hostel? Or center parcse sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 to you both x

🙄

niadainud · 13/02/2025 00:20

Hate to say this, but if he's been diagnosed with Crohn's is being in the middle of the countryside with no toilets going to be the best thing for him? Apologies if I've misunderstood something.

GreenLeaf25 · 13/02/2025 00:22

I've never googled for an OP before but what about the New Forest? There is a clamping site where you can be out in nature and also bbq at the end of an evening - but also have a walk in the woods taking in the natural wildlife?

Notalaundry · 13/02/2025 00:26

Edit…was supposed to quote to PP saying access to a toilet is important.

Yes to this (I’ve got crohns). Which part of the uk are you in it could you travel to OP?
Glamping is a good suggestion, but easy access to a loo is a must for us with IBD.

GreenLeaf25 · 13/02/2025 02:37

Yes I was thinking of something like this (full disclosure - I've not stayed in one but have been to the new forest and really loved it!)

g.co/kgs/zhikCi5

GreenLeaf25 · 13/02/2025 02:39

Sorry this link

newforestglamping.com/

LlamaDharma · 13/02/2025 02:40

shellyleppard · 13/02/2025 00:13

Your poor son sounds like he's had a rough few months. What about youth hostel? Or center parcse sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 to you both x

Literally OP says I don’t want to do centre parcs. First reply? Oh I know, what about centre parks?

Fraaances · 13/02/2025 02:42

So much empathy for you both. You’ve both been doing it tough. Enjoy your reset. You deserve it.

wheelywheelynice · 13/02/2025 03:21

shellyleppard · 13/02/2025 00:13

Your poor son sounds like he's had a rough few months. What about youth hostel? Or center parcse sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 to you both x

OP clearly stated not Center Parcs

adamduritzvocalchords · 13/02/2025 03:25

I can't think of anything more anxiety inducing (with a history of IBS symptoms) than camping with shared/limited toilet facilities! I like the reasoning but I'm not sure of the practicalities.

doodahdayy · 13/02/2025 03:27

It sounds horrific to be stuck in the middle of nowhere with chrons without being close to a toilet.

kittensinthekitchen · 13/02/2025 03:50

Cancel the cheque

BlondiePortz · 13/02/2025 04:16

All this would sound fine if this is something he wants to do and not a case of parent going "I have decided we need to do this and in my heads this will be what happens and child / teenager just has to go along with it if they dont poster's will say child is ungrateful''

so does he really want to do this?

YetAnotherNewUserMoniker · 13/02/2025 04:34

Have a look at Boggle Hole Youth Hostel in N Yorkshire, OP. Right on the sea, minimal mobile signal, books to borrow, some food, other people around for some company and en suite rooms so you are not sharing bathrooms.

Whitby nearby if nature gets a bit much!

Best wishes to you both.

Monty27 · 13/02/2025 04:39

How was he diagnosed without having taken the pre-med?

Fourecks · 13/02/2025 04:41

I can't recommend anywhere specific, sorry, but I agree with everyone saying he needs somewhere with his own bathroom, or at least one shared with only you.

Does he like animals? If he's had so much change with his body in a short amount of time, then riding a horse for the first time might not be the experience you're hoping for. It might be great, but if he's a beginner he probably can't do anything too exciting and it could just end up a source of stress, particularly if it's a ride that takes him away from toilets.

You sound like a great mum and I know this is all being driven by love for him. I would talk to him and see what he wants to do, with the condition that it needs to be something in nature that gets him away from his phone. He's more likely to enjoy it if he feels some agency around the trip. I imagine a lot of what is happening to him right now feels out of control and he might not appreciate more things being decided for him.

badwolf82 · 13/02/2025 04:58

Being out in nature away from a clean and private toilet sounds like utter hell with a digestive disorder.

What about a totally different approach - go for a culture weekend somewhere like London (if you don’t live there) or Paris. Lots of museums with nice clean toilets, good restaurants with allergen safe menus, theatre, short walking tours in fun arts districts.

Maybe this is just something I want to do, but at that age I would have loved a cool city break and hated a nature experience.

legallyblond · 13/02/2025 05:12

I cannot recommend YHA enough! You can choose a private en suite room. I’ve stayed at a few in Cornwall, Beer (Devon), Cirencester, Windermere and the one near Stratford upon Avon. All excellent. www.yha.org.uk

Bjorkdidit · 13/02/2025 05:13

YetAnotherNewUserMoniker · 13/02/2025 04:34

Have a look at Boggle Hole Youth Hostel in N Yorkshire, OP. Right on the sea, minimal mobile signal, books to borrow, some food, other people around for some company and en suite rooms so you are not sharing bathrooms.

Whitby nearby if nature gets a bit much!

Best wishes to you both.

That sounds like a good suggestion, but it would help if the OP says where she lives. I think for this sort of weekend, the ideal location would be somewhere that's a bit far for a day trip so not somewhere they go all the time, but not a huge trek, so maybe around a couple of hours travel from home?

The weather/time of year would also be relevant, I thought the OP wanted to go somewhere fairly soon, which would make BBQs and fire pits a challenge unless there's sheltered outdoor space.

Also an idea of budget? Do you want cheap and cheerful or something more luxurious?

A hotel/country estate fairly near to me might suit. I can't see horse riding but they might be able to a local provider.

https://www.swintonestate.com/bivouac/

Swinton Bivouac

Experience the great outdoors at Swinton Bivouac. Off-grid, electricity-free glamping in North Yorkshire on the edge of the Yorkshire Dales.

https://www.swintonestate.com/bivouac

Starsandall · 13/02/2025 05:17

I don’t know where you are based but my first thought was the new forest. Great for everything you describe. Hope you’re both ok and have a great time whatever you choose.

Whattodowithaminute · 13/02/2025 05:20

Forest holidays might fit the bill, not as commercial as centre Parcs, still in nature, lots of walking, bike rides, horse riding and outdoors activities available, cabins of various sizes with proper beds and toilets. Lots of different sites across Uk as well

ThatEllie · 13/02/2025 05:26

Riding is a good idea. It is recommended for children that feel like they lack control in some way, since having such a large animal obey them and learning to control it gives them some of that back. It does use a lot of core muscles though, so you’ll have to make sure that will be okay with his condition.

LBFseBrom · 13/02/2025 05:34

niadainud · 13/02/2025 00:20

Hate to say this, but if he's been diagnosed with Crohn's is being in the middle of the countryside with no toilets going to be the best thing for him? Apologies if I've misunderstood something.

I agree with that.

Someone above mentioned Center Parcs which would be a good compromise.

However, op, your son is the one most affected by the Crohns and he is acting the way he is because it must be awful to have to adjust to it. He shouldn't have to be on steroids all the time, long term, the disease can be managed in other ways.

Does he want to go away somewhere or is it what you want? Give him time and listen to him.

GreenLeaf25 · 13/02/2025 05:53

@adamduritzvocalchords I specifically suggested the place I did because it has a toilet in the accommodation- or is that not what you meant?

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