A reset weekend for me and my teenage son 🥹

[fifimummy]

My 13 year old amazing son was diagnosed (shock) with Crohn's disease in December.
It's been brutal honestly and he "failed" according to the hospital a course of liquid feed, and then had 7 weeks of steroids which has been living hell honestly....
I only took him to the GP because of scalp psoriasis and his life has been totally flipped on its head ...
The Prednisolone gave him rage and insomnia, he started vaping, hanging around with people I'd never heard about and also pretty bad depression, I massively fought against the.medication, but he was told they would work miracles....they haven't worked
He's now been prescribed more tablets and has to have infusions.
Anyway that's the backstory
I want to take him away for a weekend.....
Somewhere back to nature maybe, with walks and pretty scenery ....with phones for just an hour
I'd like for him to ride a horse for the first time.....I used to do it loads and it's pure therapy, there's nothing better in my eyes....be around animals and have a fire or barbecue at night....I feel like I need to reset after all the arguing
Can anyone recommend anything? Don't want to do the big things like center parcs etc xx

Air b n b an apartment overlooking the beach. Somewhere like Carbis Bay in Cornwall. Then you could do costal walks and go horse riding if he feels up to it or just stay in the apartment.

What does your son want to do? I think thats your starting point.

Thanks so much for all of your replies, I'm going to have a proper read when I'm back from work, so this is a bit hurried, but I really appreciate it all.
Maybe I have been a bit guilty of thinking about what I think would help, but the background is that he's always enjoyed things like camping , outdoors, farm parks etc and seems to be a really calming space for him....So it's not something I've plucked out of nowhere. He LOVED Center Parcs, but we went with my Mum not long before she died and none of us fancy going back as it wouldn't feel right xxx
He had virtually no Crohn's symptoms, only now in hindsight we think a few times that things we thought were sickness bugs might have been flares. Doesn't particularly have toilet urgency or anything like that, it's really been a shocker for him. I should've said originally that I'm not planning to put him in the car and drive him to somewhere remote, take his phone and stick him on a highly strung pony all as an idea for a brilliant surprise 😆 I was looking for some suggestions and ideas, which I'd obviously discuss with him first, and do some planning. We're in Leicestershire, and I'd need to organise some time off work as I work retail, so we've got a bit of time.
The steroids , on top of his shock diagnosis plus teenager hormones and probably more things all made it just awful. He's now off the Prednisolone and I've made it known on his file that we'll refuse them again unless it's a medical emergency.....this was his choice by the way, as he hated them and the moonface they gave him.
Really appreciate all of your responses XX I'll read properly later on xx

I've never been myself, but my sister swears by Centre Parks as a reward/treat for her grandkids

Where abouts are you?
I work on a farm that offers animal experiences-goat walking, alpaca feeding, egg collecting that sort of thing. We also have camping fields and some 'glamping', (though it's a stretch to call it that. It's very basic, a bed in a shed and a log burner really). Lots of walks and off grid-ness. There is a cafe and a pub over the road. It's quite affordable. Something like that? If it sounds the ticket DM me and I'll give you the website. We are just north of London.

try mendip basecamp https://mendipbasecamp.com/

They have indoor accommodation you can book rather than camping and have a lot of fun activities onsite.

One Cat Farm in Wales! Not sure about the horses but it is exactly as you describe - no phone signal in the cabins, so much nature around, not far from beaches with dolphins and seals. Outdoor campfire cooking and outdoor kitchens, really secluded and beautiful. They have wood fired baths if you want them. I'm sure they could help recommend somewhere to find horses too.
Best nights sleep I have ever had :)

https://www.onecatfarm.com/

I’ve got no tips but I wanna thank you for being an amazing mama. I’ve got IBD too but I was diagnosed at 25. It’s a rough ride . Thank you for helping him and supporting him. It will take time but he’ll get there.

https://www.living-room.co/contact

we have stayed in these tree houses and they are just wonderful for leaving all your worries behind. I know they are a bit pricey but worth every penny.
i hope whatever you do together you enjoy and re connect, he will be a lost little boy at the moment with everything going on. I’d also say push for a dermatology appointment if psoriasis is starting so young, it takes years to go through all the treatments till you find the correct one, my friend had head to toe psoriasis and finally was put on biologicas it’s completely gone as if it was never there.

Please don't even think of doing this unless given specific medical advice. When people have a bad bout of crohns it's normally a liquid diet they are put on or a very bland white fish/chicken/mashed potato/rice type diet.

Is perhaps wait until he's stabilised on the infusions and is feeling a bit better before going away.

BlondiePortz

All this would sound fine if this is something he wants to do and not a case of parent going "I have decided we need to do this and in my heads this will be what happens and child / teenager just has to go along with it if they dont poster's will say child is ungrateful''
so does he really want to do this?

This exactly op, only one of my kids enjoyed camping, another a little but the other two HATED it! If he’d prefer a city weekend or just a hotel stay with a cinema trip and some shopping maybe consider that too (and haven’t convinced any of mine to go horse riding which I’ve always been gutted about!!)

Which is why I specifically mentioned that he was under the care of an American doctor. It is simply that there are other treatment methods out there. The NHS liquid treatment wasn't working in his case

I'd probably rent a nice cottage in nice scenery with stables etc close by. Hope you both have a lovely time whatever you choose

We've stayed at Drovers Rest in Herefordshire and loved it. There are cottages and safari tents - each safari tent has its own private bathroom and loo in the main building. The farm itself is lovely with lots of walks, opportunity to feed the animals including alpacas, etc, if he's into the countryside stuff. My eldest was 12 last time we went and loved it.

We stayed in a safari tent in October half term last time. Flipping freezing but the tents had a log burner and the beds had electric blankets so it was unexpectedly cosy! Easy access to Hay-on-Wye and Hereford too.

Can anyone recommend anything? Don't want to do the big things like center parcs etc

@fifimummy What does he want to do?

The weekend is about him, so you need to ask him what he wants.

My son at 13 would of hated a quiet country weekend with limited phone access.

Do something fun!

Sounds like this is something you want to do not him

The thought of camping or glamping in this miserable weather would put me off. Can you go abroad, get a bit of sun? Even parts of southern Europe which aren’t boiling atm but still better than here…walks along the beach/hiking/exploring?

Another recommendation for Forest Holidays. There are a couple of sites in North Yorks, cabins are beautiful, some with hot tubs and barbecues but none of the 'noise' of Centerparcs, easy access to the coast, Flamingoland if that's his sort of thing, North Yorks Waterpark , sure you'd find horseriding locally.

Op clearly isn’t interested in clarifying what her poor boy wants to do
perhaps because it’s not relevant to what this reset is going to be

Or possibly because he's at school and she hasn't had the chance to discuss it with him after the feedback she's had here.

Shes made it clear he's enjoyed camping and outdoorsy stuff in the past, and found it very calming. Along with her reasons for "not Center Parcs".

ignore me!

I didn’t see the update

<Bangs head against the wall> 😆🙄

I've not got any specific ideas for your weekend op but I just came on to say what a wonderful mum you sound.
You describe what your DS has been through but you have lived through this too and as a mum of a child of a similar age whose life was turned upside down by a (different but similar) diagnosis I salute you and all you are striving for.