A reset weekend for me and my teenage son 🥹

[fifimummy]

My 13 year old amazing son was diagnosed (shock) with Crohn's disease in December.
It's been brutal honestly and he "failed" according to the hospital a course of liquid feed, and then had 7 weeks of steroids which has been living hell honestly....
I only took him to the GP because of scalp psoriasis and his life has been totally flipped on its head ...
The Prednisolone gave him rage and insomnia, he started vaping, hanging around with people I'd never heard about and also pretty bad depression, I massively fought against the.medication, but he was told they would work miracles....they haven't worked
He's now been prescribed more tablets and has to have infusions.
Anyway that's the backstory
I want to take him away for a weekend.....
Somewhere back to nature maybe, with walks and pretty scenery ....with phones for just an hour
I'd like for him to ride a horse for the first time.....I used to do it loads and it's pure therapy, there's nothing better in my eyes....be around animals and have a fire or barbecue at night....I feel like I need to reset after all the arguing
Can anyone recommend anything? Don't want to do the big things like center parcs etc xx

I’d also suggest looking at National Trust cottages - some gorgeous locations, some are in the grounds of the properties, and many are near the sea. They are very comfortable and well-equipped - perfect for a relaxing break. But I’d agree about asking your son what he’d really like to do…being somewhere beautiful but remote may not suit.

When I was on a long term course of steroids - prednisolone - I wished I was dead. Even years later the memory of how bleak I felt then comes back to hit me like a tonne of bricks and can knock me for six. I was an adult. I can't imagine having had to deal with that on top of the hormone turmoil of adolescence and coming to terms with a lifelong diagnosis.
Sod the reset. Can you get him off the medication.

Also regarding any weekend away, ask him what he would like. His life has gone out of his control over the last few months. He needs to be able to be involved in any decision making.

I am now no longer prescribed oral steroids. It is on my notes. I can tolerate steroid injections and inhaled steroids. There are other ways of managing my condition (not crohns).

OP says they don't want to go to center parcs, so the first response suggests going to center parcs?

Ask your son.

I can’t imagine being out in nature riding horses would be fun for someone recently diagnosed with Chrons. Just because something worked for you as a child dosnt mean it will work for him.

Tell him what you are thinking, you 2 getting away somewhere and work on ideas together.

His behavioural changes are nothing to do with the steroids! He’s been told he’s got a life changing condition, he’s young and angry about his diagnosis and rebelling against it. Being stuck in the middle of nowhere with Crohns would not be the best plan. Ask him what things he’d like to do.

I’d really think about where he might like to go, rather than you having a nice idea which he’ll hate! My DCs would not thank you for no phone or wifi, sounds more like a punishment.

Is he into any sport? Could you go to a game or stadium tour? Or the War Museum? My ds enjoyed that. Would he want to share a room with you? Mine wouldn’t, even without the Crohns.

Is he up for going riding? I get your point but is it something he’d like? If so, maybe get a lovejy air bnb in a nice country town so you can do the horses and then back to chill.

The irony is… he’d probably enjoy center parks a damn sight more than what the OPwants to do

Norfolk is beautiful. Lots of things to do there. Plenty of fresh air and nature too.

What about one of the cabins at Port Lympne. Not in nature for the reasons stated re lack of access to loos but near animals and an unusual but admittedly more pricey experience.

Best wishes to you both, OP. I would echo what others have said about needing access to a loo. Also, if your son is vaping anything that contains tobacco, he should know that it makes Crohn's worse (beyond the normal ways that tobacco is bad for you), and his medical team would advise him to stop. I really hope you have a great holiday, you sound like a lovely mum.

What was he interested in before the diagnosis? Could you not do that together? Was going to suggest climbing a mountain together - exhilarating, lots of chats, and sense of achievement at the top - but presumably he needs ro be near toilets. How about go karting, Go Ape or zipwiring?

Completely agree with this. Are you sure your dream isn't about getting your son back as he was before he got ill op? Because that's not going to work. Also don't spend money on a trip and then resent your son for not enjoying it. I agree you should find out what your son really wants to do. My son would enjoy virtual reality experiences, a theme park (with queue jumping) and exciting swimming with slides. Your son will obviously be different but go with what he wants and feels like doing.

I mean this gently - ask your son what HE would like to do.

My brother was diagnosed with Crohn's at about the same age. It's been a brutal ride with multiple operations but he's now got it under control with humira. Different drugs work for different people, but he will find something that works for him. Best of luck to both of you ❤️

Not sure where you live. My friend runs Hippo therapy in Wales, but this gives an overview https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/equine-assisted-therapy.html

You need to ask him what he wants to do and allow him to plan it (( within reason obviously ))

The poor lad doesn't have control over his own body at the moment, I can pretty much guarantee skipping through the forest will be the last thing he wants.

Yes, I can't imagine wanting to be shaken around on a horse immediately after a stay in hospital.

Where did anyone mention a pre med?

Op says she took her son for a scalp condition only, that in turn led to a crohn’s diagnosis. Not everyone diagnosed with crohns starts off with bowel issues, some are diagnosed after investigations for issues that turn out to be extra intestinal manifestations such as skin conditions or arthritis. It’s perfectly possible that her son isn’t suffering any gut problems at all, so worrying about immediate toilet access isn’t a concern.

Id also imagine if he isn’t having a lot of other crohn’s symptoms then this diagnosis and aggressive treatment must seem really extreme (both to him and the op). I’d be happy to take anything, whatever the side effects, when I’m in a bad flare up, but I can well imagine I’d feel very differently about it if all I was obviously suffering was a bad skin patch on my scalp to be fair. It’s a massive adjustment to make for a teen.

Have you discussed this with your son op? Would he want a weekend away in the countryside, or might he prefer exploring a city, or some activities maybe? Things we want or enjoy aren’t always what others are so keen on? Where are you based, and how far do you want to travel for your trip? Involving him in the planning, rather than surprising him, might help him feel a little more back in control of his life again.

Where are you? I stayed with two teens in a small hotel near Yorkshire which was in beautiful, natural grounds for walks and had a falconry centre where you could learn about the birds and opportunities to handle them.

We have also stayed in the Ring of Kerry in Ireland, in hotels and apartments and caravan. Beautiful countryside and walks and opportunities for guided horse rides and other physical activities.

Wales is also brilliant for camping/glamping/holiday cottages with beautiful countryside, forests and waterfalls and probably horse riding.

I would also suggest Sherwood Forest which also has horse riding.

I hope things improve for you both xx

Hidden valley yurts in wales are amazing - www.hiddenvalleyyurts.co.uk

Steroids absolutely do affect behaviour @Horserider5678 -pretty dumb to suggest otherwise. Unfortunately they are sometimes necessary to treat acute flaring in crohns. And if you read the OP her son has been moved on to other drugs

She doesn’t want Center Parcs.

Look at Canopy and Stars. Quirky accommodations in beautiful places, but with bathrooms!

Not to say he doesn’t want it

but that doesn’t seem to be a priority

And the son what does he,want?