In light of another thread what is the ‘Worst thing daughter/son in-law has ever said or done to you?

[HaloTRI]

There are always two sides to every story!

You go first

Mine was my step son and daughter in law inviting us to our DGD first birthday, a two and a half hour drive away.

When we arrived at the venue, armed with gifts, our DiL announced ‘this isn't her real birthday or party, that is next week’. Clearly we weren't invited.

We sat with DiL’s family, waiting for the birthday tea and the cake with candles to be lit/cut, and when my DH asked DSS and DiL what time everyone was eating, we were told ‘everyone has had the food, M&S is across the road if you need to buy anything!’.

Quietly we went and bought a sandwich and drove the two and a half hours home!

How awful not even to feed you ....I'm sure a mil hater will be along soon to blame you.

Interesting how quiet it is on here…😂

Were you late arriving or something? Is there back history as to why they would treat you like that?

That's awful @HaloTRI I'd have wandered back out with the presents and gone for a nice meal on the way home!

No, we arrived at the agreed time, text them along the way too so that they knew when we would be arriving. They obviously knew we had a long drive. I wouldn't care, we sat ages when we arrived, politely awaiting the good ( my DH eating his own hands) before he even asked his son, quietly, when we would be eating!

No real back story. We were navigating different expectations within families (DiL going to bed one afternoon when we visited so we didn't see her, DiL the only one not to join the family for breakfast when we all stayed in a house together) but nothing major. We are quite easy going and accept that different families have different expectations. These are not necessarily wrong ( apart from eating the party food before we arrived and sending us to the shop…😉).

They had invited us to the ‘birthday’.

I still can't believe how quiet it is on here, given that ‘in-laws’ get such bad press. 😂

I think it goes to show that it is generally the in-laws overstepping and causing the issues. Though your example is clearly very unpleasant, didn’t any of you point out to your son how nasty that was for you?

I’ll post on behalf of my mil if you’d like. She complained to dh that I don’t make her feel welcome because I don’t offer her a coffee when she pops by.

My version. You didn’t ask nor were you invited to pop in. You pass comments and judge everything in my home. I don’t even drink hot drinks so actually never offer anyone one. She makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home.

Not my son, but yes DH discusses this with his son.
His son’s response is usually ‘you are making life difficult for me, because DW will be cross’.

Not sure it does show that it is ‘generally inlaws overstepping’, it just shows a one sided bias on here.

Yeah I have no story. It’s usually in the in-laws overstepping

Very odd thread tbh. You seem to want a barrage of awful stories?

I adore my DIL and DIL to be.

I also loved my in-laws and I was very close to them.

It can be a lovely relationship going both ways...

Have you seen the ‘barrage of awful stories’ about the MiL, repeatedly on here?

Clearly not! 😂

So ok to share awful stories about the MiL, just not the DiL!

Witnessed my SIL slagging off my MIL in her house whilst MIL was in the kitchen preparing food. Her and her husband used to pick on MIL and make FIL out to be golden balls.

Even DILS own DD was hugely embarrassed and told her to stop being horrible. I said to my DH how bitchy it was and I felt sorry for his mum.

Made a point of being really nice to MIL and bigging her up after all her efforts.

Can't stand SIL and BIL tbh and have gone NC with them since. They are mean girls who delight in picking on people to make themselves feel better.

My MIL would say that I refused to let my DD stay with her when DD was a baby / small child. True. As a teenager DD stayed overnight with her twice and both times asked to come home early.

That I didn't welcome her friend who for some reason she volunteered our spare bedroom to when they were in our city. True - friend whom I had never met turned up just before midnight pissed with another drunk woman who offered to sleep with DH 🤣

That she should have had a more visible role at my wedding day. She had to be asked by the Registrar to be quiet during the service, loudly criticised the venue and told my best friend that my husband was only marrying me for my pension.

Of course I have-but they are usually on a thread which starts by the OP sharing something that happened or a dilemma-
not just a request for a pile on.

That's not what the OP was asking though.

She was looking for experiences of DILs/SILs being horrible.

So your projection back onto your MIL wasn't what she was talking about or actually relevant.

Plenty of SILs/DILs are vile as well. Its noy exclusively MILs.

HTH

I'll go. Made their son get married and then tricked him into having his own life. The sheer audacity.

There can be vile people on both sides because realised complex and not everyone will get along however the power dynamics with a MIL-DIL relationship usually lend themselves to there being an unbalance when the "original keeper" of the DH resents being "replaced" by the DIL, established matriarch vs incomer. Happy people also don't tend to post about bad relationships too which is why you see far more negative stories posted than positive ones.

True, but I do think the older generation are worse for it. Maybe because their parents had expectations of them. I don't know why though, you'd think they'd try and break the cycle.

@CornishTickler I don't need you policing what I write. Nor the passive aggressive HTH.

HTH

I've got three DILs and a SIL and I've wracked my brains to think of anything that any of them might have done, but have come to the decision that they are a delight, all of them.

I might, of course, be the MIL from hell, but they've all been too tactful to tell me if I am...

I think its quiet as a large proportion of MN are not at that stage of life yet. I've got nothing to share as I haven't got adult children with partners! Gransnet has a lot of DIL/SIL posts.

I haven't been great as a dil, quite immature. I own it. She is great as a mother to my husband. We have both struggled with finding our roles and never resolved it. Grandkids (my kids) have missed out on that side of the family as the inlaws think women are the ones who should sort all that out. I have a lot of respect for her. But I can't be around her.

Probably because of the age of most posters. I'm sure there would be more stories on gransnet.