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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is the poorest person in your family and why?

280 replies

PassingStranger · 12/02/2025 14:18

Just being nosy?
Whose the poorest and Why?

OP posts:
GreenFingersHelp · 12/02/2025 16:42

Odd thing to ask.

Why does it help you to know this?

Garlicworth · 12/02/2025 16:43

GreenFingersHelp · 12/02/2025 16:42

Odd thing to ask.

Why does it help you to know this?

Are you only allowed to post here for help?

whatawonderfultime · 12/02/2025 16:44

BountifulPantry · 12/02/2025 16:41

Our relatives have 7 kids spaced out- first when the mum was 18 and last at around age 36.

Neither mum not dad has ever worked full time and haven’t developed skilled careers.

So they are poor, obviously. Very happy though, has to be said!

I don't think it's possible to be truly happy if you're poor.

Jumpingthruhoops · 12/02/2025 16:45

Littletreefrog · 12/02/2025 14:22

I'm bored so I'll bite.
Me because I chose family over career and don't live to work like the rest of them.

I'm confused by this... surely someone 'prioritising family' is making sure they can provide for their children financially?

GreengagePie · 12/02/2025 16:47

Annettecurtaintwitcher · 12/02/2025 15:57

DD2, her only source of income is loosing teeth.

Priceless ! 😂

peachgreen · 12/02/2025 16:47

Me. My brother works in IT and earns more money than I could ever dream of. I still consider myself pretty fortunate, though.

Guinessandafire · 12/02/2025 16:47

"All you can take with you is that which you've given away"

Pa Bailey, It's a Wonderful Life.

Mumsnet is obsessed with money, earnings, pension pots etc.

The older I get, the poorer I get. I guess I might have some inheritance at some stage but obvioulsy care home fees would take care of that.

The key is not to have expensive tastes that you can't afford!

Garlicworth · 12/02/2025 16:48

whatawonderfultime · 12/02/2025 16:44

I don't think it's possible to be truly happy if you're poor.

I'd agree with that. It's definitely possible to be happy on just enough, though, as per Mr Micawber.

Who is the poorest  person in your family and why?
GreengagePie · 12/02/2025 16:51

Annettecurtaintwitcher · 12/02/2025 16:10

£1 or £2 depending on what the tooth fairy has available that day.

Yikes - now that's really galloping inflation !

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 12/02/2025 16:51

I honestly don't know.

My brothers definitely earn more than me. But they definitely spend more than more, too. So I'd imagine I've got far more in savings.

And I've paid off my mortgage and they're nowhere near.

Littletreefrog · 12/02/2025 16:53

Jumpingthruhoops · 12/02/2025 16:45

I'm confused by this... surely someone 'prioritising family' is making sure they can provide for their children financially?

I didn't say I was poor. I said I was the poorest in my family.

Notgivenuphope · 12/02/2025 16:54

My mum because she ended up giving up her job to care for my dying gran while the rest did sweet bugger all. They still made her split her will equally.
I worked nights so I could help her. The rest just carried on with their lives. I don't look at them the same.

TheHillsIsLonely · 12/02/2025 16:56

Our tortoise. We think he's in his 80s or 90s now and I don't think he's ever worked. If he doesn't pull his socks up soon he's going to lose the roof from over his head. He claims to go out looking for work but says the jobs have always gone by the time he gets there.

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 12/02/2025 16:56

Me because I'm chronically ill. Hope your curiosity is satiated.

Lolarowan · 12/02/2025 16:56

SunnyViper · 12/02/2025 16:40

No idea as we don’t really talk money. Everyone has at least 6 figures saved and a couple of brothers have property in London that they rent out.

Not bragging though of course

LadyWiddiothethird · 12/02/2025 16:58

Not me! What a stupid question .

Lou7171 · 12/02/2025 16:58

Jumpingthruhoops · 12/02/2025 16:45

I'm confused by this... surely someone 'prioritising family' is making sure they can provide for their children financially?

It's not confusing. You can provide enough financially for your children without having a top career.

ObviouslyBlooming · 12/02/2025 17:02

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 12/02/2025 16:56

Me because I'm chronically ill. Hope your curiosity is satiated.

Me too @alwaysdeleteyourcookies

lifeonmars100 · 12/02/2025 17:03

Badknitter · 12/02/2025 16:05

The cat. Spends her time stoned on catnip biscuits staring at the radiator.

living the dreamies! I am jealous of cats who live in homes where they are adored, legal drugs, sleep whenever and wherever you want and doted on simply for existing

Pipilifie · 12/02/2025 17:04

Poppymeldrum · 12/02/2025 15:02

For a very long time,it was me

Single mum,on benefits and a very low paid job

I went back to college,worked hard to learn a trade and went nc with the lot of them

They all have good jobs but spend every penny they have on tat/credit

I own my own home (paid for in cash),have an ok-ish job and a happy life with my dp

No longer am I there to be looked down at and made fun of for being lower than pigshit and a sponger (not my words at all)

And they hate it

You know what they say - the best revenge is living well.👏

ForZanyAquaViewer · 12/02/2025 17:06

CleverButScatty · 12/02/2025 16:39

Ah ok. I think I have interpreted 'prestige' as a bit 'showy', in a way that those jobs are not.

That’s interesting. When I think of ‘showy’ jobs, I think of the arts. Perhaps I’m being too literal! What sort of jobs did you mean?

Waterweight · 12/02/2025 17:07

FanofLeaves · 12/02/2025 14:23

What sort of poor? Cash poor? Time poor? Morally poor? Sick poor?

Just summed up each of my family members

Gettingslimmer · 12/02/2025 17:10

My dad. He’s a bit of a waster, although he tries, but arrogant/entitled with it and feels the world should hand him a living. Feels he’s been hard done by. Which to many extents he has. He never had any money, lives in a council flat. We were very poor growing up. Wider family is very affluent.

So it was an odd dynamic, as no one knew just how bad it was at times. Like he couldn’t put food on tne table and it was a slice of toast for dinner level of bad, but then we would go and see grandparents and aunts/uncles in huge houses for sumptuous meals. Then back to the council flat with no heating. No one ever visited us. As he didn’t invite them.

He hid how bad it was. Although I think obviously they knew he was skint, from where we lived to the clothes we wore. just they didn’t suspect it was so bad he couldn’t afford food at times. And he’d never have admitted it. Wanted everyone to think it was all good.

even today, he is so used to being poor, that if he buys something from markies he feels it’s a really big deal and will tell everyone, generally that’s he will buy a small markies chicken for Xmas, and be all excited as it’s from Marks and Sparks. It feels embarrassing to hear him go on, but it’s a treat for him.

poverty takes its toll in many ways. I’m a high earner, as is my husband, however as he was a bit of a cunt to us, I don’t get involved.

AD1509 · 12/02/2025 17:11

All my cousins/ tons of kids super young. Claim it’s what they “planned” but after multiple men/ various uninterested dads now have plummeting chances of having a sustainable career and likely a life on benefits. Very very sad.

GreenFingersHelp · 12/02/2025 17:14

Garlicworth · 12/02/2025 16:43

Are you only allowed to post here for help?

You've latched onto the wrong word @Garlicworth .
The important word in the sentence is 'know'

'Help you to know'.

Why does she need to know this?

What does it add to her life?

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