To not give her a lift?

[DreamingOfHotPotatoes]

My child does an activity, once a week, that's roughly a 30 minute drive from my house, so an hour long round trip.

However, one of the parents, who I have never spoken to, has asked other parents where I live, and on discovering that I drive past her house, has decided that I will be taking her child to and from the activity from now on. She has not asked me this! Last week she just left the child at the activity and told the child I would be giving them a ride home. I gave the child a ride home, but not willingly! This child shoved my child out of the way and demanded the front seat, then kicked the back of my seat the whole way home. My child has autism and really needs a quiet car on the way home to decompress, this was quite an ordeal for her.

I'm taking my daughter to her activity later and I'm having anxiety over it happening again. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to give this child a ride home?!

Wow, you couldn't make it up!! Well done you for unpicking some of what was going on. Hope you get something sorted for your DD for the future.
Not sure if there is a safeguarding issue here/if the organisation has a regulatory body you need to contact about the leaders conduct.

I would just leave the group chat!

On reading the title I had already decided you were being unreasonable, what's the issue you pass the house and be kind etc etc. However.....reading the post you are absolutely not being unreasonable. It is unbelievable that this parent hasn't even asked you. Do parents actually just abandon their children in the assumption that another parent will bring them home? Wow!! I would tell this parent quite firmly that you don't appreciate how she has gone about it and it's actually quite rude.
I would personally then consider taking the child home if there is a genuine need but on the basis that she sits in th back and behaves!! If she can't do that then no lift. Having said that, if you don't want to provide a lift you are not being unreasonable at all to say you aren't going to.

You may want to catch up with OP's updates this morning...... 🤯

Omg literally that, SAY NO!! This mother is taking the piss, extremely. She didn't ask you at any point if you would take her child home. It's basic courtesy, you have to ask if you want a favour, "please could you....." It's not difficult. This is not something she should have assumed you would do. If she had asked and was polite about it I would have considered doing it on an as and when basis when it suits your plans. What a ridiculous situation!

You should directly talk to those parents to find a solution

@DreamingOfHotPotatoes

come on OP, you can do this. She isn’t concerned about being a CF so you absolutely need to nip this in the bud and stop caring about being nice.

Simply reply ‘god no thanks! Bad enough with one child tagging along! 😂 Sorry you’ll have to make other arrangements’

Be firm. She’s taking the piss.

@DreamingOfHotPotatoes hope you get the situation sorted and your DC is ok.

I’m really curious about all the people coming on with ‘troll hunter’ caps on, calling the OP a liar. What is the hoped for outcome?

This account may be true, it may be false, or it may be somewhere in between. OPs in general post to presumably seek input whether that is support, problem solving or attention. In calling then liars what do you hope for? What makes you decide to engage with accusations of lying rather than just moving on? To silence them? To stop others communicating with them (like sending to Coventry)? To show superior detective skills? IRL if you don’t believe an account do you tell an acquaintance you think they’re lying to their face? If you have, how did it go?
So many questions. I’m honestly interested in understanding the motivation.

too wordy. The "had you asked" opens the door for her or others to ask. best option is short, and clear "sorry I can't do that"

This sounds like the plot of a telenovella or shitty 80’s soap!

Tut tut MsVi
Some posters got deleted for even suggesting that!

These are the best updates to a thread I've ever seen 😆

Thank goodness you stood up about it though, OP, you'd have been forever branded as the OW and bitch for not making it up to CF by giving lifts!!!!

Well you know very well surely that troll hunting is against MN rules so those posts get deleted?

Or are you a newbie so unaware of that rule?

If you doubt the veracity of a poster you're supposed to report it.

HTH.

I have no idea whether the post is real or not. What I will say is that twice in my life I have experienced similar very real scandal in the village situations. Once I was a bystander and once my late DH was said to be the OM....he wasn't.

I am shocked not to have been deleted, though I did word carefully... As mentioned up thread I'd love to see a screenshot of these whatsapps the OP is having.

This comment will be deleted but I do wonder if some aims are to make it into classics...

Posts like this baffle me, one because some of it doesn't make sense. If you were the "other woman" why would the mum be wanting you to give her child a lift? Surely she'd want you nowhere near her child or anywhere near her home.

Also, this is Mumsnet. I'm pretty sure every Mum (and plenty of non-parents) I know use or read MN. Surely at least one person from your group would recognise this scenario?

It reminds me a bit of another one where CF bought child to a birthday party without RSVP'ing and then kicked off about not getting the special party bag. I'm now convinced that was just some very unsubtle advertising for a TV comedy, given that that OP had used the same moniker for her CF.

My brain can't even comprehend how can parent leave child without arranging for their lift home. She didn't even speak to you, that is just absolutely INSANE! What on Earth. Mental.

OP, if this activity group is part of a larger organization, PLEASE expose this to the management. This is beyond simple CF'ery. The manipulation, black mailing and defamation of character she has put you through, as well as the ramifications for both your daughter as well as the daughter of the other mum are serious, and this does need to have real consequences for the activity leader in terms of termination of employment. If it's a small activity and the activity leader is self employed there's probably not much you can do except rise above and take care of yourself and your daughter.

And thank you for posting your updates. This was an outrageously good one!

Going back a step. Why would any of the group believe you were the OW yet the CF was insisting you gave her child a lift? Surely she would be ostracising you rather than giving you access to her child?

Who made you overlord of mumsnet? I can express my views however I please( on a public forum). Freedom of speech and all that. If the OP/Mumsnet or whoever else takes offence to me querying this post, report me. 😘

Well that's quite an update.

Ps. it's 'affair' not 'affaire'.