To not give her a lift?

[DreamingOfHotPotatoes]

My child does an activity, once a week, that's roughly a 30 minute drive from my house, so an hour long round trip.

However, one of the parents, who I have never spoken to, has asked other parents where I live, and on discovering that I drive past her house, has decided that I will be taking her child to and from the activity from now on. She has not asked me this! Last week she just left the child at the activity and told the child I would be giving them a ride home. I gave the child a ride home, but not willingly! This child shoved my child out of the way and demanded the front seat, then kicked the back of my seat the whole way home. My child has autism and really needs a quiet car on the way home to decompress, this was quite an ordeal for her.

I'm taking my daughter to her activity later and I'm having anxiety over it happening again. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to give this child a ride home?!

Just put your child in the car and leave. You not agreed to take the other child back. Not your circus of monkeys to deal with. I'd also remove myself off the what'sapp or silent it.

Or... OP was put on the spot and, in the moment, reluctantly agreed to do a nice thing and take the child home rather than leave her stranded. She shouldn't have been put in that position, and it was arguably unwise to comply, but in the moment she chose to help. Jeez, women really can't win with some people, can they?

These people all know each other. You make it sound like they're random strangers.

yes you're right!!! I've been deleted. bloody hell I didn't realise it would look like i was troll hunting, never mind, I'll choose my words more carefully next time.

I don't make it sound like anything. I'm just surprised that it happened in that way, with no obvious parental consent or agreement from the club organisers.
I don't doubt that her intentions were fine. That was not my point.
Also, the "Jeez" bit?. I'm not attacking women. I'm trying to understand the situation.
No attacking women. Whatsoever.

Message the parent directly and say “Unfortunately I am unable to provide transport for Sally. I feel I’ve been rather put on the spot here which is extremely embarrassing for us both. I’m sure if you communicate with the group leaders/other parents you will be able to find a suitable solution.

Don't put it in the public chat - private message - I am sorry I cannot take your child. I am sure you will find an alternative.

Just say you will not be giving lifts, end of, if it takes a lift then why can one of the others not give them a lift?
i certainly would not gift an ill mannered child a lift or an entitled parent help.
DO NOT DO IT.
Every week they will expect it.
every week there will be an excuse.
ignore the others.
remember the brass neck of this mother.
if she does not collect her child thats on her. They will contact her or social services.
not your problem. She left her child there, on her own.
she assumed you would take her home without speaking to you. There is something very wrong.

Fuck me, what a cheeky mare she is!

This is so out of order I can’t believe it.
Sorry if I’ve missed this but why can’t the mum collect herself?

I’d reply quite bluntly…

’I’ve tried to politely decline but honestly, your daughter was very rude yesterday. She pushed my daughter and demanded to sit in the front and after I politely asked her to take her seat in the back she proceeded to kick the back of my seat on the journey home. It’s not a favour I’m going to repeat unfortunately so please make other arrangements’!

I agree completely. OP has no idea whether the parent actually told the child to get a ride with OP. It could have been the child's own idea. Children have been known to lie about what parents said. OP could find the police at her door, accusing her of kidnapping a child. I definitely wouldn't risk it.

Just say you don’t appreciate not being asked , it’s rude . They shouldn’t expect it . They need to ask and if and when you can do it that’s up to you .
Say how you feel , blow what the others may say or think !
Feel for the child but their attitude doesn’t sound great , no surprise there .

Oh my, they obviously don't understand that "it takes a village" means that everyone does their bit 🙄

For what it's worth, I'd explain to the teacher that you can't take her - make something up if you need to, e.g. not going straight home today.

If it's a proper organised thing, then they should/will have emergency contact details and so they need to use them if the child is left.

I'm afraid a bit of upset and shame might be the only solution here, and the other people on the chat seem to be giving in to her demands.

Your response: "Excellent. It sounds like you'll be happy to take over the taxi service for the child. I'm glad to hear it's sorted."

How is you car configured that the child sat in the front and kicked the back of your chair? And yes the mother is a CF.

She wasn't allowed to sit in the front so was kicking the seat in a bratty protest by the sound of it

This is a matter for social services.

Yes, I agree. That was really my point upthread. Taking a child home in those circumstances and just to a lodger?.

I would be questioning the activity's safeguarding training as they should never have taken a child's word for that, they should have contacted the parent to confirm.

This ⬆️

Jesus this would infuriate me.

Cheeky fucking lazy twatty twats!!!

Reply and say “No. I will not be giving lifts home. I have a SEN child and will not be taking other peoples children to my errands. Please do not ask me again”.

I’d inform the activity organisers/managers and let them know too.

Then I’d leave the group chat.

Love this lol

Perhaps the parent had already told them that it would be happening?

Either way it was on Op to say that no, she hadn't been asked & she wouldn't be giving a lift.

No. Absolutely the right thread 😀

I'd purposefully misunderstand and send a cheery message saying "Ohhh Great! Thanks for volunteering.
@Cheekyfucker as i said i cant do this for you but Villageidiot1 and villageidiot2 have said they can will! Ill let you arrange with them directly."

If the villageidiots come back to clarify they wont do it but want you to do it...I'd send a reply like

Whatever happens....
Do not let her child into your car ever again.