To not give her a lift?

[DreamingOfHotPotatoes]

My child does an activity, once a week, that's roughly a 30 minute drive from my house, so an hour long round trip.

However, one of the parents, who I have never spoken to, has asked other parents where I live, and on discovering that I drive past her house, has decided that I will be taking her child to and from the activity from now on. She has not asked me this! Last week she just left the child at the activity and told the child I would be giving them a ride home. I gave the child a ride home, but not willingly! This child shoved my child out of the way and demanded the front seat, then kicked the back of my seat the whole way home. My child has autism and really needs a quiet car on the way home to decompress, this was quite an ordeal for her.

I'm taking my daughter to her activity later and I'm having anxiety over it happening again. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to give this child a ride home?!

Can't believe other people are even getting involved in the chat! Tell them all to do one!

Exactly this. In fact I've done this before to stop any pattern or expectation (on their part) that this will become a regular thing. Sit it out today, or collect early!

We had a mother who started doing this. Felt sorry for her, so we all helped out a couple times, it then she started messaging us 10 mins before school started, then starting asking everyone else to do pick ups too. Nothing wrong with her - we later saw her posts of Facebook talking about the all nighters she was pulling “and just how exhausted she was” to do the school runs. Just told her “sorry, not available” every time she asked.

Don’t make up anything. Just tell her no. You don’t have anything to lose because she’s not even your friend.

Just reply: sorry but I'm not taking your child shopping with me, you'll need to arrange your own lift otherwise your child will end up stranded at the end.

Then reply excellent, you can take turns taking that child home!
CF the lot of them by the sounds of things

Are people really this selfish?

Just tell her: your kid hit mine, then kicked the back of my seat all the way home last week. I don't give lift to rude kids. And it was the height of rudeness to assume that I would give your kid a lift. Don't do that again.

They all sound batshit.

Just say it doesn’t suit me to be tied down to this. I very often have other plans straight after the class so I cannot commit this unfortunately but if anyone else would like to step in and do it then they are more than welcome. This does not suit me end of story.

how does she get her child to the class?

Surely nobody is this wet in real life?

Yes your reply should have just said I gave your child a lift home the other night but it was a one off,no need to give a reason.

I had an acquaintance message me saying they knew I was still doing a hobby every Wednesday night in another town so they had signed their child up to a club nearby and I could take their child and collect again for the lift home.
The message said but but due to timings you will be a bit late for your hobby and also have to leave early also.
My reply was NO...thats all I put
Never mentioned again

To be honest to really annoy her, if she can drive, I would suggest that she does one week and you do the next or she just does drop off and do collection and see how she gets on with that. If she flat refuses, then I will do the same too. It may take a village but it can be your village too if that’s the way she wants to play it.

What's the activity? They really shouldn't have let you take the other child without you having confirmed that agreement.
I would have left the child (as mean as it sounds) and said to the activity leader that you knew nothing about the arrangements and did not feel comfortable taking a child without having made arrangements.

In the situation now, I would again contact the activity leader and say you are not giving lifts. That way if the child is dropped off and the parent says you are picking up they can say you aren't.
Do not back down to this, child doesn't even sound grateful and it does sound worrying no parent was home either (I assume they wanted a nice evening out)

I'd say "Your child kicked my seat the whole way back despite being asked not to, there's no way I'm taking them food shopping with me! Also, who wants to take someone else's kid food shopping?! You're being ridiculously cheeky"

Its stuff like this that makes me glad I'm not a "Mum friends" person. I'd definitely leave the group!

Tell them you will be charging by the hour. Say no

Did you miss the bit about the other child being aggressive and rude and the OPs dc being autistic.

If none of these parents are your friends, who gives a shit about their reactions.
Take your kid, collect your kid, ignore the adults

OP just message the group to say you are making it clear that you are not being volunteered as CF child’s driver and won’t be giving them lifts to or from the event - don’t say anything else on the matter

People like this exist, believe me!

OP I won’t sleep at night unless you firmly say no 🙏

Yanbu just say no!

It takes a village ... maybe
But it takes manners to be a member of that village

Based upon things you've said, I suspect that had the mother rang or whatsapp'd you and asked you to pick their child up as they're on the way, you would (if it were not inconvenient) have said yes

The problem is not giving a lift, it's the f&%$£ing rude self-entitled behaviour of the mother

Don't take her - tell the activity organiser you are driving in the other direction and are being late - let them sort it out! Don't do it again.

This is why you don't make excuses, CFs will find a way around them.
Agree with PPs to just say No (others can give lifts if they're so generous with their your time).
Hope you don't get any further hassle!

Talk about extreme cheeky-fuckery!

You couldn’t very well avoid it the first time, but I’d be telling the mother in no uncertain terms that she should have had the basic good manners to ask, and no you will certainly not be ferrying her child about again.