To not give her a lift?

[DreamingOfHotPotatoes]

My child does an activity, once a week, that's roughly a 30 minute drive from my house, so an hour long round trip.

However, one of the parents, who I have never spoken to, has asked other parents where I live, and on discovering that I drive past her house, has decided that I will be taking her child to and from the activity from now on. She has not asked me this! Last week she just left the child at the activity and told the child I would be giving them a ride home. I gave the child a ride home, but not willingly! This child shoved my child out of the way and demanded the front seat, then kicked the back of my seat the whole way home. My child has autism and really needs a quiet car on the way home to decompress, this was quite an ordeal for her.

I'm taking my daughter to her activity later and I'm having anxiety over it happening again. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to give this child a ride home?!

'Happy if anyone else can help you, however I wasn't asked and did not agree, as a lift share agreement doesn't work for me. Hope you can sort something out.'

'Happy if anyone else can help you, however I wasn't asked and did not agree, as a lift share agreement doesn't work for me. Hope you can sort something out.'

"Please make other arrangements for X getting home. I will not be taking her".

And don't.

ETA: you need to put into writing that you absolutely won't be collecting the child, so that the organizers know, when lumbered with her until her parent turns up, that you did nothing wrong. If you leave any doubt at all, people will blame you rather than her because it's easier for them to deal with you (nice) than her (cheeky fucker). Be firm and crystal clear.

Yep my reply will be ‘well I do mind. I’m saying NO, end of discussion. NO tonight and NO in future!’ How old are you op? When you hit your 40’s you take no bullshit!

Then they can be the village idiots, acting as her free taxi service, if they think this way.
This village nonsense is usually trotted out when lazy parents want others to take on the responsibility for their children.

Whey cant they step up then! They can be the fucking village!

I feel your pain years ago a woman who lived in the same estate would wait till I walked by and then knock on her window and come out the door in her pj's and say you wouldn't be a doll and take her to school I had no choice as she was practically pushed out the door..I eve said to her that my son was getting annoyed and jelous and I wouldn't be able to walk her daughter to school with us anymore. Yes there was tension between me and her for awhile but I didn't care as my son said he got his mum back.

You don't owe anyone the reason. It's likely if you give a reason they will come up with solution! ...that suits them. I'll do almost anything for anyone, including going out of my way in terms of time, energy and money. Assumption ....nope

Just say no.

OMFG i am mad on your behalf OP!! They really are cheeky twats aren't they!.
I would go back again just saying no i will not be giving lifts, given some other parents feel strongly about this maybe they can drop your child off for you.

This is insane. Please, please don't give her child another lift!

Ask the activity to phone the mother and say you're not able to give lifts anymore.

And then leave the child in the hands of the organisers when you go.

Not your problem to sort out. No need to be unpleasant to the child but also no need to just put up with this.

Nooooooooooo! Who are these people I can’t believe this!

This ⬆️

“I’m glad you’ve all volunteered then as I’ve all told you I can’t do it.” Job done.

If you really wanted to then I’d potentially add “I’ve told you I do the food shopping after it, I also use this as an opportunity to spend one on one time with DD and we grab a Maccies on the way home. We both really enjoy this and as she is autistic I’m not changing that routine, sorry”. I don’t think you should have to add that, mind you. But maybe it could make them back off a bit more?

Nah, it's amusing me over lunch. It's still cockcustard though.

Wrong thread? 🤔

Tell the parents, they can do a lift rota between them selves. So bloody cheeky!
You have to say No and who cares if they think you are being rude as you aren't. The mother is. I had all this when my dc's were small. I learnt to say no when I was being taking advantage off. Nip it in the bud asap.

”I can’t take another child shopping with me and so you’ll have to find another option”

"Hi Rachel. Nice to finally make your acquaintance. This is the first time we have ever spoken to each other. I was completely shocked when you decided that I would drive your child home despite never having asked me if this was OK. I was put in the awkward situation of having to either drive her home or leave her stranded. This is astonishingly rude, cheeky behaviour and I am gobsmacked at the brass neck of it. Maybe it takes a village to raise a child but we don't know each other and I'm not in your village."

"Glad to see you know this family and care so much about their child's welfare. Feel free to drive her home yourselves, it's not convenient for me."

Personally I wouldn’t disclose my child’s medical information just to turn down a cheeky request. Also don’t fuel the fire, they’ll be asking you to take them to McDonald’s!

I'm done with faffing around with people

tell this parent straight it is not convenient and downright rude she should have expected you to take her chid home.
(obs in emergency this is different)

I wouldn't give any information or justification personally. Even saying you're going to do your food shopping just invites pushback.

No is a complete sentence.

I agree. Any reason you come up with they will have an argument to counter it. You have to just say no.