To not give her a lift?

[DreamingOfHotPotatoes]

My child does an activity, once a week, that's roughly a 30 minute drive from my house, so an hour long round trip.

However, one of the parents, who I have never spoken to, has asked other parents where I live, and on discovering that I drive past her house, has decided that I will be taking her child to and from the activity from now on. She has not asked me this! Last week she just left the child at the activity and told the child I would be giving them a ride home. I gave the child a ride home, but not willingly! This child shoved my child out of the way and demanded the front seat, then kicked the back of my seat the whole way home. My child has autism and really needs a quiet car on the way home to decompress, this was quite an ordeal for her.

I'm taking my daughter to her activity later and I'm having anxiety over it happening again. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to give this child a ride home?!

Cheeky fuckers the lot of them

Put one last message in the group then ignore all talk of lifts
Point out that you were never asked,the shoving, the seat kicking and the requirement for tranquility.

and if the child us there expecting a lift? Leave.make sure another adult is still there and they know child is there.

Be firm

No need to be rude, just truthful - that's why making excuses doesn't work - just say No it doesn't work for me. And for the other parents chipping in I'd reply to them, on the WA that there's nothing stopping them giving the child a lift home..... if they carry on sniping I'd just say "my reasons are my reasons, I don't actually owe anyone an explanation"

Brilliant response!! 👏

The cheeky mare! Right, this is what you need to post.

I won't be giving a lift home to anyone's children. Those of you telling me I should are very welcome to volunteer instead.

Just say no. Say I am not doing it end off.
How rude of them all to decide and also a bit mental.
Why can't the mum pick her up?
You have to put your autistic dd above them all. No matter what rubbish they put on WhatsApp.

Reply

"that's great if you are happy to give X a lift home but I am unable to".

When you get there, advise the organisers that you are not responsible for taking the child home.

Why are people so bloody entitled? It's shocking.

That is incredibly cheeky of them. You shouldn't have given the child a lift the first time. It was up to the organisers to contact the parents. Make an excuse like you're going to visit relatives straight afterwards. Or else everyone will think you're the bad guy.

You need to be crystal clear.

"I will not be giving any lifts from this activity going forward, under any circumstances. Please do not ask and do not expect this."

But, if you do this, you know you can't ask them for anything under any circumstances, right?
I think you're right - this village idea is bullshit, and benefits cheeky fuckers

A parent leaving a child without having made arrangements to get them home safely. Relying on the child to ask.

You would be reasonable in calling it a safeguarding issue. Let the child's school know before they have to deal with anything like this.

This is bonkers. What you should have done is say you are not available for any lifts, never mind ones that haven't been agreed beforehand.

edited to remove rogue comma.

Jesus, the CFery of this!

"Sorry, I obviously wasn't clear in my previous message. I am not able to provide a lift for X and do not want to take him with me to the supermarket. You will need to make other arrangements."

The other parents sound nuts, is there a special reason, e.g. has this parent recently been widowed or has serious disabilities or something?

I've just seen your update as missed there were more pages.

It does take a village but that rarely happens. Maybe they would like to do it then since you weren't even asked. You need to toughen up. These are not your friends. Stop caring what they think.

Just say because your child is rude. End of. Good luck

Always used by CFers needing childcare 🙄. They may have been caught out be her CFery in the past. Society has moved on from village times - they can make their bloody village which you do not need to be part of.

Ignore all the comments. Do not be dragged into a debate or having to explain yourself to the masses.

The village is great, but it's supposed to be everyone participating not taking without return, and it's supposed to be used only when you need it, not just because you cba parenting your child!

We've got a lovely village at DD's school. DH had a car problem, we sent a WhatsApp explaining, 3 parents offered DD a lift to school.

Her BFF's baby sister gets sick a lot and her Dad works weekends, so we (and other parents) have chipped in to take her to parties when her Mum can't make it.

In this situation, I would absolutely give a lift if they had asked nicely in advance, but my child isn't autistic and doesn't need a silent car.

A simple - that doesn't work for me.

For that reason alone you can say you’re not going to give lifts.

child was badly behaved - keep that one up your sleeve for when the entitled parent pushes back

If this post is real

Then yes, op, you need to grow a pair, say no, and not give a fuck what the villagers say

"I will not be giving any lifts from this activity going forward, under any circumstances. Please do not ask and do not expect this."

^

This

Or,

No.

Go back onto the group, say it’s a no to lifts, that you were trying to be diplomatic but the child kicked your chair the whole ride back and this isn’t an experience you’re going to repeat.

tell the group that the ‘village’ isn’t ONE person shoved into it, it’s normal to ASK but be prepared that the answer is no, but they are welcome to volunteer their own cars/time for this child if they’re so inclined. You don’t appreciated being coerced/tricked into taking responsibility for someone else’s child.

be firm. Be clear.

Then I'd nominate one of those..

Just send a message saying...
Perfect the job is yours as I WILL NOT be responsible for another child.

I'd also mention it to the class leader so they're kept in the picture.

Honestly these people are not your friends just say as I have already stated, I am not giving lifts

Let the other parents ferry the kid around then! They sound like a bunch of CFs. You are not unreasonable! Don't get me wrong, I'd help anyone out in an emergency but wouldn't be used like this! Sounds like you're being taken for a mug in this instance. Just politely say it won't work for you and that's that. They are very cheeky to just assume you'd do it.

I'd ignore no point in engaging any further you have said your piece. Get there ten mins early and mention to the leader instead