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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman shouted at me for parking in a disabled spot

462 replies

AusMumhere · 12/02/2025 09:03

I parked in a disabled spot at the supermarket today. A woman about four cars away shouted at me and said 'that's a wheelie spot'. I shouted back 'I have a permit'. She then yelled 'where's ya walker?'. I said 'not all disabilities are visible'. I hate confrontation of any kind.
Should I have walked away or should I have responded? I'm still in shock that I shouted.

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 12/02/2025 12:38

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 12:34

On collecting her DM, friend parks her car in a disabled bay, displays the blue badge. No one (yet) has questioned this.

Good, because they would be wrong too. Your friend is not doing anything wrong, by doing this.

They are if they’re not getting out of the car themselves. They’re misusing the badge for someone else’s’ benefit and taking up a space that someone else could be using.

LlynTegid · 12/02/2025 12:39

A reasonable response.

Such bays are never enforced, they are just there to make the supermarket look good or a sop to planners.

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 12:40

Rosscameasdoody · 12/02/2025 12:38

They are if they’re not getting out of the car themselves. They’re misusing the badge for someone else’s’ benefit and taking up a space that someone else could be using.

Edited
Show quote history

In this case, is it a misuse of the BB, where the DM is being picked up by her DD?

JoyousGreyOrca · 12/02/2025 12:42

Some of the private car parks do enforce it with fines, but only the ones who are keen to issue fines for everything. I can always get a parking space at our local shopping centre because they do fine people.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 12/02/2025 12:44

ExtraOnions · 12/02/2025 10:22

Probably not going to be popular … but I think those spaces should be specifically for people with mobility issues, and those who need to get wheelchairs / scooters etc out of the car.

Some disabilities aren’t visible which is correct, and some people have disabilities that good days and bad days, just because you “can” doesn’t mean you “should”

Do you know how hard it is to get a blue badge? My Mum couldn't get one because she wasn't blind enough despite also having problems walking. I eventually got her one by putting down how she was on her very worst days but by that time it was too late and she never got to use it. Never mind eh, she should have just gone out on one of her 'good days' 🙄

I hope you never have the need for a blue badge but if you do, I hope you look back and realise how fucking nasty and offensive your post is.

Normallynumb · 12/02/2025 12:46

She sounds ignorant and stupid
She also had no idea of your medical history.
Any comments I just look them up and down and walk away
I have a visible disability but the worst was when I had my young DC in the car with me
I got comments such as " if you're that disabled, you shouldn't be allowed to have children!" WTF
You can't reason with stupid

K0OLA1D · 12/02/2025 12:47

Rosscameasdoody · 12/02/2025 12:38

They are if they’re not getting out of the car themselves. They’re misusing the badge for someone else’s’ benefit and taking up a space that someone else could be using.

Edited
Show quote history

Dp parks in a disabled bay when I am getting out and stops in the car on the odd occasion. He's doing nothing wrong. It's not his badge, it's mine

FlowerUser · 12/02/2025 12:47

As someone with a blue badge but who isn't in a wheelchair, I dread people claiming I'm not disabled. It's really mentally draining.

I do need a disabled space and the criteria to get a blue badge is really strict. They don't hand them out like sweeties. What's more, my DH does a lot of shopping and other things for me because I can't get about much. And no, he doesn't use my badge, unless he is driving me or picking me up, because it's illegal.

For those who think that they should be reserved for mobility issues that need a wheelchair or scooter, those of us who have invisible mobility issues would have to park quite a distance away on busy days, or cross roads to the impatience of drivers at our slowness.

WellsAndThistles · 12/02/2025 12:48

I tend to find that replying with "Fuck off you ugly old bat" does the trick.

WellsAndThistles · 12/02/2025 12:50

K0OLA1D · 12/02/2025 12:47

Dp parks in a disabled bay when I am getting out and stops in the car on the odd occasion. He's doing nothing wrong. It's not his badge, it's mine

Show quote history

That is misuse if he isn't getting out the car, unless you also have a blue badge?

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 12:51

For those who think that they should be reserved for mobility issues that need a wheelchair or scooter, those of us who have invisible mobility issues would have to park quite a distance away on busy days, or cross roads to the impatience of drivers at our slowness.

It is just as well that those people who think like that, are not the ones setting the criteria for who is able to get a BB.

JoyousGreyOrca · 12/02/2025 12:52

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 12:51

For those who think that they should be reserved for mobility issues that need a wheelchair or scooter, those of us who have invisible mobility issues would have to park quite a distance away on busy days, or cross roads to the impatience of drivers at our slowness.

It is just as well that those people who think like that, are not the ones setting the criteria for who is able to get a BB.

Those of us with mobility issues still have to deal with the impatience of some drivers anyway even with a Blue Badge.

K0OLA1D · 12/02/2025 12:54

WellsAndThistles · 12/02/2025 12:50

That is misuse if he isn't getting out the car, unless you also have a blue badge?

Show quote history

It is my badge. As I stated. He parks there for me. I do not drive. It's not misuse at all.

FortuneFaded · 12/02/2025 12:55

We get this all the time. Blue badge for son who has multiple seizures without warning and other hidden disabilities. We were assessed as qualifying for one.

We have had all sorts shout at us, even with a blue badge on display. The worst was at Morrisons on holiday. An elderly couple in a car started beeping at us just as had parked. Apparently we were in “their spot”. They wanted to know how long we would be, and all sorts of insults. She got out to look at the blue badge, demanding I turn it over to show who it was for. I refused.

We walked away and went into the shop and told security. as soon as we were out of sight, the driver had driven his car down the side of mine to block the driver side door, miscalculated and scraped the whole side of my car and his in the process. All on camera, police called as they were screaming about it. Some people are severely entitled about these things.

ButterCrackers · 12/02/2025 12:56

Take a photo of her car number plate and say that you’ll report her to the police for harassment.

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 12:58

Yes of course@JoyousGreyOrca. I don't know, maybe there should be a National campaign regarding invisible disabilities, to educate the general public, if there has not already been one. A few signs on some toilet doors, in M&S etc, is clearly not enough!

custardpyjamas · 12/02/2025 12:59

AusMumhere · 12/02/2025 09:54

My permit was in the windscreen, on the passenger side.
She was shouting from four cars away

Show quote history

Just because there's a permit on the car it doesn't mean the person the permit is for is in the car. Some people just use it all the time. Not that she would know whether it's for you or a disabled relative. And there are a lot of stolen or forged badges about. People do jump to conclusions if you look fit and healthy.

I know one person who uses his dad's car if he goes somewhere difficult to park because of his dad's disability badge, infuriating really, and then people who really need the space can't park.

DiscoBeat · 12/02/2025 13:02

This is why the local authority decide who is deserving of a blue badge, not some deranged woman in the street.
I've had issues myself, my mum has a blue badge and I put it in the car to then help her into and out of her house. If someone sees me before or after I drop/collect her they make assumptions! I usually just say 'if you're going to be a busy body try to get it right'.

JoyousGreyOrca · 12/02/2025 13:03

@LadyKenya my disability is visible.

JoyousGreyOrca · 12/02/2025 13:04

Since the eligibility for Blue Badge has been expanded, it is harder getting Blue Badge spaces.

Caroparo52 · 12/02/2025 13:04

How rude of her. Doesn't need to be answered

LadyMaryCrawleysVaginaOfDoom · 12/02/2025 13:06

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 12:51

For those who think that they should be reserved for mobility issues that need a wheelchair or scooter, those of us who have invisible mobility issues would have to park quite a distance away on busy days, or cross roads to the impatience of drivers at our slowness.

It is just as well that those people who think like that, are not the ones setting the criteria for who is able to get a BB.

Amen, @LadyKenya

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 13:08

JoyousGreyOrca · 12/02/2025 13:04

Since the eligibility for Blue Badge has been expanded, it is harder getting Blue Badge spaces.

Even if that were the case, then the number of BB spaces should be increased then, to meet the need.

JoyousGreyOrca · 12/02/2025 13:13

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 13:08

Even if that were the case, then the number of BB spaces should be increased then, to meet the need.

Show quote history

Yes true. But eligibility has been expanded without changes to the number of spaces.
For many people it is not a case of Blue Badge spaces being something to make life easier. We just have to drive back home and have done so. Although a friend who is paraplegic just parks across two ordinary spaces, and successfully appeals the fines.

jellyfishperiwinkle · 12/02/2025 13:19

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 12:40

In this case, is it a misuse of the BB, where the DM is being picked up by her DD?

Show quote history

Of course it isn't!

Here is a quote from from UK rules:

Who can use the badge?
The badge is for your use and benefit only. It must only be displayed if you are travelling in the vehicle as a driver or passenger, or if someone is collecting you or dropping you off and needs to park at the place where you are being collected or dropped.

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