Woman shouted at me for parking in a disabled spot

[AusMumhere]

I parked in a disabled spot at the supermarket today. A woman about four cars away shouted at me and said 'that's a wheelie spot'. I shouted back 'I have a permit'. She then yelled 'where's ya walker?'. I said 'not all disabilities are visible'. I hate confrontation of any kind.
Should I have walked away or should I have responded? I'm still in shock that I shouted.

I saw a brilliant riposte on Instagram where a lady had been challenged about parking in a disabled bay, she asked the other woman. "Which of my stoma bags would you like to see, I have two, happy for you to inspect either!" Why do people feel that they need to interrogate people when their disability, visible or invisible is none of their business.

Really bizarre behaviour on her part - I’ve heard of people questioning others (though not shouting across the car park) when a badge hasn’t been displayed, but this is just odd. Don’t blame yourself for answering her - if she said it that loudly then presumably other people heard her too and it’s human instinct to not want others to think badly of us (that you didn’t have a permit).

I do wish there is a temporary blue badge for people who had major injuries and subsequent surgeries. My DM broke her hip 11 years ago and had her hip pinned (she should have had the replacement from day one) then replacement of both hips and one knee. It was very difficult for both me and DF to find somewhere to park which was near to the entrance or wide enough bays to have car door fully open to get her in/out of the car. As everyone else parks next to the disabled bays.

Hopefully you shut her up to prevent her hurling nasty comments to other disabled users.

What makes me cross is how easy it is to make assumptions over blue badges and disabled bays but not care about the rest of the shitty world disabled people have to navigate. Just simple things like parking on a drop kerb, leaving your bins in the middle of the street. They are just pissed off that someone might be getting something they aren’t. It is ignorant and rude to make assumptions over why people are using parking bays, lifts or disabled toilets. The thread a few weeks ago about people using disabled toilets to take children to the toilet was eye opening as to people’s entitlement.

Just display your badge, laugh in her face and tell her to jog on……… job done

I agree. There are always posts about older people shouting at people with blue badges who have an invisible disability.
What I see all the time is people parking in disabled spots without blue badges. I used to challenge them and they would often shout back they had an invisible disability. I do not give a shit if your disability is visible or invisible, but you need a blue badge. If you do not have one, you are not disabled enough for one.

I had this with my mum. She had 30% lung function in her 40’s (and died of lung disease at 61). Because she wasn’t in a wheelchair, we would get abuse when we parked in disabled spots even though we had a clearly displayed permit. It really is awful and, yes, I did shout back on occasion.

You sound like you've lived a very sheltered and fortunate life of good health to be unable to imagine why a disabled space would be needed by anyone other than those with mobility issues.

We had a blue badge for my dad because he relied on portable oxygen to walk even a few steps and so it made a huge difference being able to limit the distance he had to walk when we went anywhere. In part to conserve the limited portable oxygen we could bring with us.

My grandmother also now has a disabled badge as she is almost completely blind and the more she has to walk to and from getting picked up in the car the greater the chance of her falling.

Neither of them would actually drive the car (as a direct result of their disabilities) but it would have been impossible for us to manage without the badges.

I pray no one with your bigoted views is ever in charge of any matters affecting disabled people.

@EmmaMaria On a similar note, I worked with a colleague who was diagnosed with MS.
She was granted a Blue Badge, and frequently found the designated parking spaces in supermarkets, etc, full - often with non badge-holders.
She designed and had printed postcard-size cards which she would place carefully under these offenders' windscreen wipers.
The message on these cards, (I can't remember the exact wording), was something like "You have taken my disabled parking space. I would be happy to give you my disability to go with it".
I don't know if the cards had any effect, but she felt a wee bit empowered and a little less angry.

Just you wait til they need a blue badge themselves.

I think majority of those who hurl abuse at non-disabled looking disabled people have no experience of having a disabled relative or close friend.

Maybe, but you could spend a lot of time having to explain your actions to some people.

Why are you acting like they get handed out to every Tom, Dick and Harry. It’s an incredibly rigid criteria so if OP has one, she needs one

The thing is, a lot of people think that blue badges are handed out like sweets - they’re not. They’re very difficult to obtain and the application process involves getting robust evidence from you GP, as well in many cases, having to attend a medical at the request of the issuing authority. People who have fluctuating conditions will be required to provide evidence that they present for 50% of the time or more, so it’s properly assessed. And in my own experience, disabled people tend to be a lot more considerate. For myself, I’m in a wheelchair and if I can find a disabled bay at the far end of the spaces I’ll do so because it leaves the nearer ones empty for those with walking issues. I have a friend who has a walking disability and she will use the nearer standard spaces wherever she can so that those who need the wider spaces can park.

There are many hidden disabilities which conceal a walking difficulty too - for example, my partner has a serious heart condition and has a badge because it limits the physical activity he can do, including walking any distance, and disabled spaces allow parking closer to the entrances of places. You’d never know he has the condition from looking at him, apart from when he’s exerted himself too much and is gasping for breath. And people may have mental health conditions/Autism or ADHD for example, which reduces their awareness of danger, so parking safely and close to destination is important - again, you wouldn’t know this just by looking at them, so how do you differentiate when it comes to need ?

I also think a lot is down to car park owners. Supermarkets in particular will cram in as many standard spaces as they can and as a result the spaces have got smaller. I would happily use a standard space because in the wheelchair I can mobilise further than someone who has walking restrictions. The reason I don’t is because the narrow spaces make it very difficult to negotiate the wheelchair and get into it, and from previous experience, you can’t guarantee that when you get back to your car, someone in the next bay hasn’t parked too close for you to actually get back into the car.

Then get people who park in disabled bays when the disabled person sits in the car. They should park in a normal bay as disabled bays are for the badge holder to leave and being picked up. For example. One of my friend's DM is disabled, goes to bingo once a fortnight and friend goes shopping whilst her DM is at bingo - she parks in another car park as the shops are quarter of a mile away. On collecting her DM, friend parks her car in a disabled bay, displays the blue badge. No one (yet) has questioned this. Her DM uses a walker which probably keeps some potential abusers to keep their mouths shut.

You have a disability, so used the lift in accordance with that. I am surprised that they had a sign like that though.

@Auburngal You are nit allowed to use a Blue Badge to park unless the disabled person is getting out of the car. Blue Badge parking though is poorly enforced.

This is one of my bugbears. This kind of misuse can actually result in the badge being withdrawn. The problem is identifying it. Unless you know the people involved it would be very difficult for the public to ‘police’ as you’re not entitled to view or handle the badge, so no way to know. We’ve all seen it though and it’s really annoying.

And unless there’s a police officer or parking attendant handy, no way to police it because as a member of the public, asking to see the badge yourself would be harassment.

You can pick up or drop off the disabled person and park in a disabled spot

Blue Badge parking though is poorly enforced.

I agree.

This is a common misconception. Those who are on PIP (also a very difficult benefit to obtain) qualify for a blue badge, if they have obtained the benefit on physical or specific combined mental health/physical grounds, which are subject to stringent assessment. Others qualify by way of applying to their local authority and again the assessment process is stringent, often involving a face to face interview. I think before people challenge, they should stop and think that if someone has a blue badge, it’s because someone a lot more qualified than themselves has decided they need one.

On collecting her DM, friend parks her car in a disabled bay, displays the blue badge. No one (yet) has questioned this.

Good, because they would be wrong too. Your friend is not doing anything wrong, by doing this.

Personally I'd have told her to f**k off.

You have a blue badge, end of.

I know. I do this with my DP when the disabled spot is not close enough to the entrance of somewhere.