Woman shouted at me for parking in a disabled spot

[AusMumhere]

I parked in a disabled spot at the supermarket today. A woman about four cars away shouted at me and said 'that's a wheelie spot'. I shouted back 'I have a permit'. She then yelled 'where's ya walker?'. I said 'not all disabilities are visible'. I hate confrontation of any kind.
Should I have walked away or should I have responded? I'm still in shock that I shouted.

Posts like this make me glad I have a hearing loss...I hate to be shouted at but 4 cars away I wouldn't hear it 😂 if you're entitled to a space you're entitled to a space, wheelies or not 🙂

In France lots of blue badge spots have a sign saying "if you take my spot, take my disability". Think we need that too.

Well actually they do. My daughter has ME and does have some good days and some really bad days. On good days we don't use the disabled parking because there will be someone more needing of it. On bad days, we use it, because she is entitled to use it and on those days really needs it.
Anyone looking at her would have no idea, so I am very very familiar with hidden disability.
I would however challenge someone who was parked in a disabled bay, not showing a permit, because sadly there are ignorant people in the world who don't give a shit about anyone else but themselves and simply can't be arsed to walk. I wouldn't do it rudely though, and i'd check for a permit first. No i'm not the 'badge police' but I do think people using disabled bays who shouldn't be should be called out on it every now and then.
My nephew also uses a wheelchair so has to use them 100% of the time as theres no getting him out of the car otherwise. Hence why I wouldn't use them with my daughter if there was actually no need to on her 'better' days.

Tell them to sod off we have one for my DS who's autistic we've got it as he's a flight risk but still I don't need to tell others why we have it people these days drive me insane humanity is truly screwed.

I have told people to fuck off. Initially I'd explain, even show them my port. Now I just tell them to report me.
I don't want to be ageist but every single case of someone abusing me has been a pensioner. They don't ask politely they shout and are nasty.

I’m disabled. Fairly obvious disability as I use a wheelchair. But from the drivers’ seat I don’t look disabled. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve driven into a disabled spot and before I’ve even got the car door open, some busybody has rushed over to point out it’s a disabled space.

The most batshit occasion was when a very angry woman demanded to see my badge, saying she wanted to check that the photo (on the reverse so would have to have taken it out of the holder) was actually me. I pointed out that unless she was a police officer or parking official she had no right to see the badge, and refused.

She was still ranting and raving at me as the wheelchair hoist set the chair down next to me on the drivers’ side - she actually stepped back to make room for it. She suddenly realised what was happening as I got out of the car into the chair and followed me into the supermarket apologising profusely for her ‘mistake’.

So OP, I’ll tell you what I told her. It’s no one elses’ business if you are parking in a disabled spot and displaying a valid blue badge. No one other than a police officer or parking official has the right to handle the badge and access personal details from it. And no one has the right to demand details of what disability you have to qualify you (yes, at one point she did ask and got angrier when I refused to say). I always say that those details are between myself, my doctors and the badge issuing authority. I do try to be polite if I’m challenged - even when they’re still challenging after you place the badge (and some really do persist) but on a couple of occasions I’ve lost patience and as I wheel away, point them to the registration number, telling them to report me to whoever they like !!

I’ve found that since the pandemic this has actually got worse. Most people who challenge will say sorry when you produce the badge, but there seem to be a lot more people around who have anger issues and actively look for an argument. I really can’t be arsed with this attitude so if none of the above works, a simple ‘fuck off and mind your own business’ is usually very effective.

When she said ‘where’s your walker’ I’d have said - ‘with your manners’.

Another clap back you can use - if someone says ‘you don’t look disabled’ you can reply - ‘and you don’t look like an arsehole but here we find ourselves’.

Same here. Always seems to be elderly people. I think one of the factors may be that some older people seem to think they’re entitled to a blue badge just because they’re old, and when they apply and are turned down because there’s no disability there, they resent it.

What a terrible point of view and to shout at you was dreadful. As you say all disabilities are not visible and you handled it very well. My friend has been judged to on this exact scenario as well. Wishing you well

I’ve actually used this reply. Mine was ‘and you don’t look like a twat but there we are’ !! Some people are just bullies and think disabled people will just cave - especially if they’re in a wheelchair. They find out pretty quickly that that’s not the case with me !!

Or you could just ignore them, and not get into a public spectacle. Just a thought.

I'd totally ignore her and turn my back on her.

‘Fortunately for both of us, my eyes are working just fine’ 😂😂

I find the public’s obsession with enforcing disabled spaces fascinating. If only they were that committed to lobbying on behalf of the disabled community for more accessible spaces, such as accessible public transport. Imagine if they got that angry when the only lift from the platform was out of order.
And I say this as an able bodied person who has experience of relatives that had a blue badge at some stage.

No, someone shouldn't have had a go at you - especially without checking. I frequently find people parked in disabled spaces without blue badges - tend to flag this up with the organisation the parking spaces belong to. (Admittedly, they rarely do anything...)
Sorry, just to clarify, do you have a blue badge or a disability permit (what is this exactly?). As it sounds like they are 2 different things, so may have different rules attached.
(I am sympathetic, as I have an invisible disability and have fought hard to get a blue badge. I do tend to use walking aids, so maybe a little more obvious.)
Sometimes it is about learning to ignore or just state you have a blue badge. Let them chunter to themselves........

There probably won't be a 'next time', but I suggest ignoring people who verbally abuse, not even looking at them, don't give them the satisfaction of a response, you have a blue-badge so you are perfectly entitled park in a disabled bay, when I've been abroad on holiday I see clipboard scammers and sellers of 'dodgy' stuff, I don't even say no, I stay silent, I won't waste my breath !

I wonder if you realise how absolutely awful and inappropriate that comment is? "Backward" is a direction, the opposite of "forward". When referring to people it is discriminatory, insulting, offensive and ableist.

A very balanced viewpoint. Problem is, people who challenge aggressively, won’t be ignored. I’ve had people challenge me and demand to see and handle the badge - actually blocking my exit from the car while they shout at me, and ignoring my requests to move aside.

My dh has a hereditary spastic paraplegia and we came back to the car to find a note on it saying this person is not disabled, fine them, if you want my spot you can have my disability too! My dh was angry as hell.

Where’s the fun in that 😂
Disabled people shouldn’t have to quietly accept abuse to avoid a ‘spectacle’

I disagree. I don’t have or need a blue badge but know people who look like they can walk well but in fact are very limited and so need to park close to where they are shopping.
Similarly it can be an urgent need to use a toilet that cannot be predicted. No disabled space for these people would probably mean they stay at home.

Are you in Australia @AusMumhere - ah yeah just spotted your user name.

I’m always 😮 at the Australian habit of shortening just about any word and adding “y” or “ie” or “o” onto it. Couldn’t believe my BBC ears when over there and a news report on tv calmly talked about “Five ambos attended the accident scene”.

a total aside. You were not unreasonable….

Your month and year of birth is hidden in the BB number.

horrible - I had an incident in a lift in a shopping centre where a lady on a mobility scooter got into the lift but the young guy with her went up the stairs due to lack of space. When the lift opened & he picked up his companion he started speaking very loudly (aimed at me) that "lifts should only be used by people who need them" & looking directly at me & DSS "not because they where lazy"! I actually have a heart problem & lung fibrosis meaning stairs are very difficult for me. I'm still upset by it & wish I had said something to the ignorant bore