Page 8 | Do you divide up the cost per person or per rooom?

NatureNatur · 2025-02-10T19:16:58+00:00

Friend is hiring a house abroad for a big birthday (v short plane away) Around 5 couples going, and 3 singletons. It's for 4 days. I have confirmed I am going, but said my DH will have to see closer to the time. We have young kids and no family who could have them for longer than one night really. Elderly or unwilling family either side. Just had the cost through and it's £400 per person. I had thought it would be worked out by room - e.g. I can just pay to have a bedroom and if DH joins for one night - all good as he would be in my room. Was I unreasonable to presume this? But it's costed per person - so would be £800 for a room, and the singletons pay £400 for their room. Is this fair? Of course we can't justify DH paying £400 for one night so I'm going to need to say that and then i gues costs are going to go up for everyone so ppl aren't going to be happy and DH just stays home. Do you divide up the overall cost by person or by bedroom?

mrsm43s · 12/02/2025 15:59

Magnastorm · 12/02/2025 15:49

"Just saying pay for what you get and not don't expect others to subsidise you"

Exactly. Got there in the end. No freebies for partners.

1 person = 1 equal share of the cost.

2 people = 2 equal shares.

Note the word "equal".

Edited

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No one (except you) has suggested a freebie for anyone.

Just pay for what you use.

Per person (regardless of relationship status)
Want one room to yourself, pay for one whole room for yourself
Happy to share a room, pay a lower shared rate per person splitting the room cost between you.
Want 2 rooms for 2 people, pay for 2 rooms for 2 people.

It's not unreasonable for rooms to be priced differently based on size facilities or for an additional modest per person charge for shared areas. Both of which I have repeatedly said.

But don't expect a whole, private double room to yourself for the same cost as someone who is sharing an equivalent room with someone else. That is greedy and selfish and expecting someone else to subsidise your holiday. Put your hand in your pocket and pay the full cost of your room.

LittleBigHead · 12/02/2025 16:01

Want a room to yourself? Pay for a room for yourself.
Happy to share a room? Pay the shared room rate.

@mrsm43s Any single person will know that there’s a huge difference between sharing a room with your spouse or romantic/sexual/domestic partner and sharing a room with a friend or even a near-stranger.

The two experiences are very different. The level of privacy for a start.

And that’s before you start to account for the shared public spaces such as kitchen etc. Or the way that couples (often without realising it) tend to organise things their way.

Many single people will have experienced the feeling of just having to fit in with couples and sort of squeezing in round the edges.

it’s why I tend to prefer to stay in a hotel on these sorts of holidays. Sharing spaces with domestic couples is often not a hugely enjoyable experience for single people.

mrsm43s · 12/02/2025 16:13

LittleBigHead · 12/02/2025 16:01

Want a room to yourself? Pay for a room for yourself.
Happy to share a room? Pay the shared room rate.

@mrsm43s Any single person will know that there’s a huge difference between sharing a room with your spouse or romantic/sexual/domestic partner and sharing a room with a friend or even a near-stranger.

The two experiences are very different. The level of privacy for a start.

And that’s before you start to account for the shared public spaces such as kitchen etc. Or the way that couples (often without realising it) tend to organise things their way.

Many single people will have experienced the feeling of just having to fit in with couples and sort of squeezing in round the edges.

it’s why I tend to prefer to stay in a hotel on these sorts of holidays. Sharing spaces with domestic couples is often not a hugely enjoyable experience for single people.

It doesn't matter whether you are sharing with a partner or a friend or even a stranger from a financial or fairness point of view. Relationships status doesn't come into it.

People who are happy to share don't have to subsidise people who aren't happy to share. It's not on me to pay extra because of someone else's relationship status, or someone else feeling disinclined to share regardless of the reason. It just isn't. And it's very entitled to think that I should subsidise their choices.

As I've repeatedly said, happy for an additional modest per person price for everybody for shared areas if necessary or different prices for different rooms based on facilities.

What I'm objecting to is people expecting that two people taking two rooms should only pay the same as two people sharing one room. That is simply not fair on any level, and it is expecting the sharers (of any relationship status) to subsidise those unwilling to share. A very entitled and unfair expectation and very much on a level with eating a 3 course dinner and wine and expecting to bill split and pay the same as the person who only had a main and a coke.

rookiemere · 12/02/2025 16:26

LittleBigHead · 12/02/2025 16:01

Want a room to yourself? Pay for a room for yourself.
Happy to share a room? Pay the shared room rate.

@mrsm43s Any single person will know that there’s a huge difference between sharing a room with your spouse or romantic/sexual/domestic partner and sharing a room with a friend or even a near-stranger.

The two experiences are very different. The level of privacy for a start.

And that’s before you start to account for the shared public spaces such as kitchen etc. Or the way that couples (often without realising it) tend to organise things their way.

Many single people will have experienced the feeling of just having to fit in with couples and sort of squeezing in round the edges.

it’s why I tend to prefer to stay in a hotel on these sorts of holidays. Sharing spaces with domestic couples is often not a hugely enjoyable experience for single people.

That's just bizarre.

You are arguing that two people sharing a room are somehow different and should be charged differently from two people sharing a room who happen to be in a relationship.

mrsm43s · 12/02/2025 16:39

rookiemere · 12/02/2025 16:26

That's just bizarre.

You are arguing that two people sharing a room are somehow different and should be charged differently from two people sharing a room who happen to be in a relationship.

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Exactly. And suggests that somehow people in couples are responsible for paying extra because of the feelings and choices of the people holidaying solo.

Yes, a single person might be more uncomfortable sharing a room than a couple is. But that's the single person's problem to deal with, and it's not up to the couple to pay extra (and subsidise the singles holiday) to somehow compensate for it.

Readmorebooks40 · 12/02/2025 16:46

mrsm43s · 12/02/2025 14:45

Of course 2 people in one room are getting half a room each compared to 2 people in 2 rooms who get a whole room each.

Bonkers (and mathematically incorrect) to suggest otherwise.

I'm perfectly fine for everyone to pay per person as long as every person shares a room.

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You are completely ignoring the part of sharing all the other facilities of the house as well as the home owner deducting electric and heating from the rental cost which everyone will benefit from. Also it's much easier to share with your partner than the awkwardness of having to get changed and share a bed with a friend. I'm married. When I'm staying with a group of friends we always divide it per person. There could be an argument for people sharing to pay a bit less individually e.g. single £150 couple £100 each (£200) but it definitely shouldn't be split per room unless you stay the whole time in your room and don't use any facilities in the house. Get a chamber pot! 😂

mrsm43s · 12/02/2025 16:59

Readmorebooks40 · 12/02/2025 16:46

You are completely ignoring the part of sharing all the other facilities of the house as well as the home owner deducting electric and heating from the rental cost which everyone will benefit from. Also it's much easier to share with your partner than the awkwardness of having to get changed and share a bed with a friend. I'm married. When I'm staying with a group of friends we always divide it per person. There could be an argument for people sharing to pay a bit less individually e.g. single £150 couple £100 each (£200) but it definitely shouldn't be split per room unless you stay the whole time in your room and don't use any facilities in the house. Get a chamber pot! 😂

Show quote history

No, I've repeatedly said that I'm fine with a per person (for everyone, including singles) cost to cover communal areas in addition to the room cost and/or different pricing for rooms with different facilities. You seem to be completely ignoring the fact that I keep saying it.

In terms of awkward or not - it might well be. But it's not up to the couple to pay more to mitigate the awkwardness of a solo traveller! Why on earth would you think that couples should pay more, so singles have more privacy? Singles need to accept that if they want more privacy (quite understandably) it is up to them to pay for it, not for someone else to pick up that cost! So if you want a whole room to yourself, it will cost more than if you share a room with someone else. Relationships status has nothing to do with it. A whole room to yourself is more costly than sharing half a room each. You make your choice and you pay for it with your own money.

JimHalpertsWife · 12/02/2025 17:01

Why are you two getting so cross about something that has zero effect on you? Neither of you are even going on this trip

mrsm43s · 12/02/2025 17:14

JimHalpertsWife · 12/02/2025 17:01

Why are you two getting so cross about something that has zero effect on you? Neither of you are even going on this trip

Good point.

Personally I'm having a bad day as my Mum is in hospital following a serious stroke, so I'm distracting myself and not being cheery or tolerant with anyone spouting nonsense at the moment. I know I'm right and being fair on this and it would be nice to have a win (if you could call it that) on a shitty, shitty day. Not that it really matters, nor would it really make me feel any better in the scheme of things.

I'm sorry if I've been rude at all. But I don't think I particularly have. Just prolific posting as it gives me something else to focus on and distracts my mind from wandering to worried places I don't want it to go to.

Bet you wished you hadn't asked now!

Magnastorm · 12/02/2025 17:45

Sorry to hear you are having a shitty time of it.

I'm never going to agree though that your way is in anyway fair - it isn't - but no point in going round in endless circles.

Lovesacake · 12/02/2025 18:24

@mrsm43s its really not a big deal. If you want the ‘luxury’ of being treated as a single person then you just communicate that to the organiser and say you’ll need separate rooms. You don’t have to actually BE single to be treated as a single for holiday accommodation.

Lovesacake · 12/02/2025 18:30

Ps @mrsm43s im sorry I hadn’t read your update when I posted, I do wish you and your mum well x

LittleBigHead · 12/02/2025 20:46

Personally I'm having a bad day as my Mum is in hospital following a serious stroke, so I'm distracting myself and not being cheery or tolerant with anyone spouting nonsense at the moment. I know I'm right and being fair on this and it would be nice to have a win

I attended my mother’s funeral two days ago.

And I know I am being empathetic and thoughtful about considering the circumstances of all members of a holiday group. Thinking about everybody’s comfort for a start.

OneWaryCat · 12/02/2025 21:51

Sorry to hear this @mrsm43s but it might help you to try and find a more positive way to channel your energy and distract yourself.

mrsm43s · 13/02/2025 09:56

Well, I'm looking forward to my next girl's holiday, where I will demand to have my whole private double room to myself at the same cost as the other girls are paying each for sharing double or triple rooms!

(Obviously, I wouldn't do that! I'm not a twat and I don't expect anyone to subsidise my choices. When I travel solo I prefer a room to myself so I expect to pay more than the people sharing and would actually insist on doing so as I'd be embarrassed not to fully pay my way. When I share a room, I would expect to pay less than those demanding a private double room all to themselves, and would quickly have the measure of anyone expecting to pay the same as the sharers for a whole private room to themselves.)