Do you divide up the cost per person or per rooom?

[NatureNatur]

Friend is hiring a house abroad for a big birthday (v short plane away) Around 5 couples going, and 3 singletons. It's for 4 days.

I have confirmed I am going, but said my DH will have to see closer to the time. We have young kids and no family who could have them for longer than one night really. Elderly or unwilling family either side.

Just had the cost through and it's £400 per person. I had thought it would be worked out by room - e.g. I can just pay to have a bedroom and if DH joins for one night - all good as he would be in my room. Was I unreasonable to presume this?

But it's costed per person - so would be £800 for a room, and the singletons pay £400 for their room.

Is this fair? Of course we can't justify DH paying £400 for one night so I'm going to need to say that and then i gues costs are going to go up for everyone so ppl aren't going to be happy and DH just stays home.

Do you divide up the overall cost by person or by bedroom?

You should pay per person. Cost it all out without your DH going. If he then can come, even if for one night, he pays the same and puts it into a holiday kitty. £400 between you all will buy some nice drinks our.

Why do you think £800 divided by two people less affordable than expecting a single person to pay £800 for a room?

Honestly some people in couples seem to conveniently forget they normally have two incomes, why should the single people subsidise the trip.

Per person is fairer.

But put it this way, if you pay per room, then what if one of the single people gets there first and claims the master king sized bedroom, leaving one of the couples with bunk beds? They have the same right to it.

In your case that you were expecting to be given a double room for your dh joining you for one night, when other singles would have to take the single/smaller rooms, wouldn't they? Does that sound fair? Win all round for you: a double room and only sharing for one night.

A single non sharer wants the same room for half the actual cost. Thats expecting to be subsidided (heavily) by the sharers (single or otherwise).

They're welcome to share and pay exactly the same for the room as the couple.

I have just arranged a weekend away for a group. I split the costs per person, mainly because the couples did have better rooms and the people who came without partners are a mix of having their own rooms or sharing with someone.

It meant the couples (I am one of them) pay double per room but some of the 'single' people had no choice but to share or have a smaller twin bedded rooms.

No-one questioned this. Everyone was happy with the arrangement.

That’s completely the wrong way round, by your reasoning a couple expect the room for half the cost rather than the price per person, and their trip is substantially subsidised by the single people paying twice what they are.

Nah.

Two equal rooms.
One room, one price.
Half the room, half the price.

Two people sharing have half a room each, so they pay half the room price each.

One person, not sharing, has the whole room to themselves, so has to cover the whole room cost themselves. They get twice the space to themselves and privacy. It's selfish and greedy to expect to get twice as much for the same price.

If everyone is sharing then fine. But people choosing not to share need to understand that luxury they are choosing comes at a cost. They can't expect a 50% discount because they're single. Nor should they expect a couple to pay a 100% uplift for the same thing just because they're in a relationship.

No one would expect 2 single people sharing a twin room to pay the same per person as two married people taking two separate rooms. It works the same in reverse.

Relationship status is irrelevant. It's cheaper to buy half of something than it is to buy the whole. It's a simple as that.

You are not "paying double".

Each person is paying exactly the same and in return receives a room and access to all the facilities of the villa. Perfectly fair.

What isn't fair is the suggestion that couples get a discount.

Well no they don't receive the same. Couples (or 2 single people sharing) get half a shared room with one bed space each, and non sharing singles get a whole private room with two bed spaces each. And singles demanding private rooms necessitates hiring a bigger, more expensive villa, and significantly pushes up the price for everyone.

Singles are benefitting both in space per person and in terms of getting the luxury of privacy that the sharers are not. The luxury of double the space and complete privacy comes at a cost which needs to be paid for by the person benefitting from them.

Relationship status doesn't come into it. Two singles sharing a double room wouldn’t expect to pay double for a room, three singles sharing a triple wouldn't expect to pay triple for their room. They'd expect a discount for sharing over the luxury having a whole double or triple private room to themselves. Rightly so, they should pay less per person because they're getting less per person.

Relationship status matters because most partners want to sleep together. That's a requirement, not a hardship. So it's rather bogus to claim that they are worse off than solo people.

If I book a place for a holiday, the rate goes up the more people who are staying. So per person seems fair.

Just because a person in a couple is OK only having half a shared room (and actually, not all do prefer that, plenty sleep in separate rooms at home for many reasons) it doesn't mean that they shouldn't benefit from the savings that are made by only having half a shared room each rather than a whole double private room each.

I'm prepared to share with my snoring DH to benefit from cheaper accommodation on holiday - but if I'm not going to get any discount for sharing, I'll have two rooms please and a better nights sleep. Just as I'd imagine that some singles would be happy to bunk up together in order to save on their accommodation costs, but would rather have a room each if the cost was no different.

Basically single people want to treat a couple sharing differently to how they treat two singles sharing. That's selfish and expecting the couple to subsidise them, and seems to be rooted in some kind of desire to punish couples and charge them more for less because they happen to enjoy each other's company.

If the cost is per person, then the same expectation of sharing should be put on everyone and a place should only be booked on a 2 people per room basis.

People with a whole private double room to themselves should pay more than people who have only half a shared room, regardless of their relationship status.

Two people sharing one room should not have to pay the same price as two people who have two private double rooms between them. That's really obvious.

Sure, ok then. Your freeloading partner doesn't have to pay.

I assume then you are happy with a single person rocking up first and nabbing the best room with the king-sized bed and ensuite? Because they've paid exactly the same as you?

I assume also that your DH is going to stay in your twin room with no bathroom for the full trip without using any of the other facilities, water or power, given they haven't contributed towards the cost of all those things at all?

Yep? All good then.

Basically single people want to treat a couple sharing differently to how they treat two singles sharing. That's selfish and expecting the couple to subsidise them, and seems to be rooted in some kind of desire to punish couples and charge them more for less because they happen to enjoy each other's company

Couples who live together sharing a room is completely different to two single people sharing, especially if they live together - would a couple going to hotel typically book one room or two?

Two people in a couple will typically have two incomes, so can each pay their own way, rather than selfishly think that because they have the option of pooling funds that a single person should subsidise them by 50%.

The couple aren’t getting less, most couples are getting exactly the same as they would do at home and it’s grabby to think single people should cover their holiday.

Per person. Otherwise the single people are being penalised for being single like they always are

It’s not about just the room, when you’re booking a house/villa you’re paying for access to the whole of the accommodation.

Nobody is buying half of anything, you’re paying for your place in the accommodation.

Couples with typically two incomes shouldn’t expect to get something for half the price a solo person does, they should both pay their way. It’s selfish and greedy to think solo people should subsidise their trip.

The total cost of the villa should be split equally between the guests. Rooms are irrelevant.

No. Two people sharing a room is two people sharing a room, regardless of relationship status. Not everyone in a relationship shares a room at home, or sleeps well sharing a room.

Just because a couple have two incomes (because they work two jobs) doesn't mean that a single person is entitled to be subsidised by them. A whole room per person costs more than half a room per person. Someone wanting a whole room needs to pay for a whole room, someone prepared to share should only expect to pay for half the cost of their room.

No one is expecting the single person to pay towards the couples holiday in any way, shape or form. A single person in a double room to themselves is already upping the cost for everybody by necessitating a house with more bedrooms that if everyone was prepared to share. They, at least, need to cover the cost of their own, private double room.

There's a reason why I only do hotel holidays if I'm going with singles, because it takes away their chance to try to duck out of paying their share. They always want to pay the shared rate but not to actually share. They also seem to want to jump in the taxi for free "it's not costing any more to have me in there with you" etc, etc.

If I'm paying per person and not everyone is sharing rooms, I'm expecting my own private room and my DH to have his own private room too. It's what single people expect for that cost, why not me and DH too? Why am I entitled to less than my fellow travellers (or to pay more) because I happen to be in a relationship?

💯

Single people generally get the worst rooms or no private room at all.

I agree with this.

Yes bit then if dh and I were paying the individual cost we could say "fine then we will have a room each please"

Yes - which is precisely why it’s fairer to price per person rather than per room: that way a single person doesn’t generally mind taking the less nice single bed / bunk bed room that most couples wouldn’t want, because it isn’t being treated as being of equal value and they aren’t paying the same price for it as a couple is for a spacious king room.

Per person . If it’s per room, the single people will pay more than the couples.

Fine, so if you’re in this situation just say that, I don’t think anyone is suggesting you can’t.

You're not paying for the room, you're paying for the holiday!!!

I'm glad the people I go away with are just happy to be involved and go away for the experience with friends rather than figuring out who sleeps in what square footage of room per night.