To hate him?

[iSiTmE123123]

Sorry this is a long one, I'll condense as much as I can.

I was with my ex 3.5 years, we didn't live together but had a nice relationship.
I have PCOS and regularly don't have periods for 3, sometimes even 6 months. I was told, like my sisters, if I wanted to conceive I'd need meds to induce ovulation.

In 3.5 years my ex NEVER came inside me ... until one night, he did.
I asked him why? He said he just couldn't stop. I found it strange as it was something he never did, didn't really think much of it though, 4 or so weeks later, I started feeling sick and very tired, i though, although unlikely I'd better do a pregnancy test, I was beyond shocked that it was positive and I knew straight away that I wanted to keep it.
He demanded an abortion, get rid of it etc threatened to have someone kill me if I didn't.

Anyway, I had the baby and he has no contact and seemingly never will.

I was round my parents last week and I said that I hate ex for what he's done and how could he be so cruel to his own son, my dad said, well you've ruined his life by having a baby he doesn't want and I'm sure he hates you too, perhaps he is even more entitled to hate you, I left the conversation there as I don't want to argue with my dad.

This man done what you do to possibly create a baby and that happened, this part was all him.

Aibu to feel hate towards this man?

I'm surprised you don't feel hate towards your father, who is a vile misogynist.

I expect he has form, doesn't he?

Well you haven’t ruined his life, don’t let him ruin yours. Concentrate on your baby and put the ex where he belongs, in the bin.
Your father has a very unpleasant attitude.

@thestudio tbh I've never seen this type of opinion from him, I was so shocked and had no idea this was how he felt

Well you should have used contraception but that horse has bolted.

Your father doesn't sound very nice.

YANBU to hate the selfish, useless tosser, but I hope in time the hatred will mellow into a vague, diffident contempt (much easier to live with).

Your dad is a bastard.

Why is the dad a bastard?
The father/ex clearly didn’t want the baby so yes he must be unhappy you went ahead with the pregnancy.

But you wanted your baby, that’s all that matters so live your life, enjoy your child and don’t waste your time hating his father.

Your ex is a cunt

Your dad is a cunt

I hope you're claiming CM and cutting contact with your dad, I wouldn't want that around my child

Thank you for all your replies, I think I'm questioning whether or not I'm in the right or not, is because as well as my dad, my friend a few weeks back told me, I shouldn't claim cm as he didn't want a baby and she said if I do it's immoral and she could never do that. I'm thinking maybe I'm just bitter and twisted and not seeing things clearly

@iSiTmE123123 , that is no friend.

Seems like you have some awful male presence in your life. I would not be bringing up my son around people like your father.

Because he threatened to have her killed??

I guess because threatening to have someone killed if they don’t have an abortion comes under ‘bastard’.

@Didimum great minds

The OP’s dad.

Your ex is a nasty prick and so is your dad.

You definitely should claim Cm. It was his choice to ejaculate inside you. Thats the point when a man has a choice.

Your father and your friend are very wrong.

Firstly, congratulations! I hope your baby is a joy.
You probably thought you would never conceive so I understand how you were surprised. (in your shoes, I'd have been rejoicing at a miracle baby)
Secondly, I'm sorry your life is full of misery-guts people who don't comprehend how amazing your DBaby is.
Your DDad and BabyDaddy sound useless so I hope you have some great women in your life.

I think if you both didn't want children then should have used contraception. I think there is a very grey area if you told him you couldn't have children

I’m with your friend on this one, he didn’t want the baby, you did, so why your wish is above his? you chose to have the baby, raise him well and be happy, forget about the man , you knew you’ll be a single mum from the start.
The conception was 50/50 fault

If he didn't want a baby he should have used a condom.
What sort of friend would try to stop your little boy from receiving money he should have? She doesn't sound much of a friend.
Go to CMS and get what your little boy is due from his vile father.

Hindsight, but somethings are meant to be. Enjoy your little one, ignore the rest, ditch your friend too.

PCOS doesn't mean you are infertile. Irregular or not, you were still having periods. One or both of you should have been using contraception to prevent pregnancy. I'm not sure why you hate your ex for not being involved when he made it clear that he would not be involved. You chose to continue with the pregnancy knowing this. But, regardless of who hates who, there is a living child here now and the two people who created him should be supporting him. Go for CM.

or she should have been on the pill?? why it’s always the man’s fault? especially when she told him she can’t get pregnant?

But he didn’t have to have unprotected sex - you said it yourself - it’s 50/50 so why should OP have all the financial responsibility?
At the point he threatened to have me killed if I didn’t have an abortion all chances of me not claiming CSA would be out the window.

Your dad- wtaf?