To hate him?

[iSiTmE123123]

Sorry this is a long one, I'll condense as much as I can.

I was with my ex 3.5 years, we didn't live together but had a nice relationship.
I have PCOS and regularly don't have periods for 3, sometimes even 6 months. I was told, like my sisters, if I wanted to conceive I'd need meds to induce ovulation.

In 3.5 years my ex NEVER came inside me ... until one night, he did.
I asked him why? He said he just couldn't stop. I found it strange as it was something he never did, didn't really think much of it though, 4 or so weeks later, I started feeling sick and very tired, i though, although unlikely I'd better do a pregnancy test, I was beyond shocked that it was positive and I knew straight away that I wanted to keep it.
He demanded an abortion, get rid of it etc threatened to have someone kill me if I didn't.

Anyway, I had the baby and he has no contact and seemingly never will.

I was round my parents last week and I said that I hate ex for what he's done and how could he be so cruel to his own son, my dad said, well you've ruined his life by having a baby he doesn't want and I'm sure he hates you too, perhaps he is even more entitled to hate you, I left the conversation there as I don't want to argue with my dad.

This man done what you do to possibly create a baby and that happened, this part was all him.

Aibu to feel hate towards this man?

Your ex is clearly an absolute cunt. He threatened to have you killed after he knowingly ejaculated inside you. Everyone knows that can result in preganacy. Slim odds or not. Of course he should be paying for the child he created as @pompey38 so ably pointed out it's 50/50 making a baby..

He could have worn a condom or abstained. That was his choice. He didn't, you got pregnant and chose to have the baby. That was your choice and rightly so. Anything else would be a heinous assault on women's bodily autonomy. You're bring up baby, he's doing fuck all so far. He should at least be paying his share.

I have zero sympathy for men who engage in risky behaviour and then cry when the chips don't fall where they would like them too. I have even less time for misogynists like your a father who not only excuse that risky behaviour but then try to place the blame on women. It's not like you stole his swimmers.

Your dad is a misogynistic cunt. If he was a rascist cunt would you want him around your baby? If the answer is no, then he should not be around your little one.

Plenty of men are like this. I was at a bus stop only yesterday and the female driver parked the bus further forward than a man of probably 70 would have liked. She couldnt park in rhe designated spot as she was driving an articulated bus. He yelled at her, where are you going you stupid little bitch? No one raised an eyebrow, can you imagine the outcry if he had yelled the an insult about the driver's race?

It's time misogyny was treated with the seriousness it deserves.

You don't think the OP is equally to blame for having conceived? Despite not using any BC herself and happily going along with a Russian Roulette method for the entirety of her relationship, you think it's all on him?

Obviously it's completely unacceptable for him to threaten to kill her, he sounds awful and her dad doesn't much better. Assuming he knows all this, he's incredibly unsupportive.

But that's a separate issue to the facts surrounding how and why the OP got pregnant in the first place. If you choose not to use any BC for 3.5 years of a relationship and then as soon as you find out you are PG you know 'straight away' that you are going to keep it, then you can't really say with a straight face that it was 'unplanned' or an 'accident' can you?

The OP says she had a decision to make, but it doesn't sound like there was ever much of a decision to be made to me.

Or both parties take equal responsibility for any babies that are made after both parties consent to have sex - whether protection is used or not. No form of birth control is infallible. If you ejaculate inside someone you are agreeing that if one of your sperm gets all the way in there you are going to pay your share.

I think people are missing the fact OP the as told she would need fertility drugs to get pregnant. I'm assuming this was by a medical professional op?

That doesn't mean OP misled her ex. They were both mislead.

If he didn't want any a baby he should have used a condom or abstained. Men need to take responsibility for their own contraception as should women. Op the anted the baby so she's taken responsibility there and I don't blame you OP if you were told it would be hard to get pregnant it feels like a miracle.

Just don't assume this baby was a miracle and please use contraception in the future

It is his fault, he's the one who didn't want a baby,so he should have worn a condom. simple. why is he leaving it up to her if he really doesn't want a baby, plus ejaculated inside her. It's each person's own responsibility to ensure they don't have a baby if they don't want one.
The OP has taken responsibility for not being on the pill. she's had the baby, which is her choice.
he's a vile dickhead, who i wouldn't want near any child anyway.

100% agree.