Calling a child greedy

[Miratea]

Isn’t it rude to call a child greedy if they want seconds of dinner even if they are visibly a bit chubby but not fat or unhealthy.

Of course you should never call a child greedy. Or anyone really! It’s a very shaming insult and I can’t see how it could ever be anything other than unkind and meant to shame.

Regardless if the child is overweight or not, it’s going to have the same effect- I wouldn’t call a really slim child greedy but still less one who was overweight.

If a child is overweight you steer them towards exercise as something healthy for all the family, model exercise yourself, serve healthy food and eat healthy food yourself as something enjoyable, don’t have crap in the house or model seeing it as a treat.

I would never use that word to a child re eating. The only exception I can think of is if they were stealing everyone’s sweets. I would never use it regarding actual food no matter how big they might be.

Have you genuinely never seen this grown pattern? They go out first, and then they stretch up. Most noticeably at the beginning of puberty. I’ve seen it quite a few times, and read about it in parenting books.

It is rude.

Some children are never full and a bit chubby, DS plays football 3 times a week, attends sports club 2 days, he is never full.

He's chunky, was born big, off the charts. A macrosomic baby, he still charts 99 percentile at 9 years old.

Distraction works, though I'd never deny him second helpings.

DD OTOH is tiny, she doesn't eat a lot, she eats out of routine, she wouldn't snack after dinner.

Not sure I would say to a child I wasn’t related to though, unless I was looking after the child at the time, eg grandparent, and they were being greedy. Eg , eating all the sweets. Asking for a second portion of a dinner could actually be seen as a compliment to the cook , As they liked it so much, they wanted more.

Yes, my kids did this, and as they become young teens, they loose their ‘puppy fat’.

I see a big difference between a child being selfish taking all of a limited non-essential treat (like taking all the sweeties from a bowl) and so depriving others (and has nothing to do with weight) and a hungry child asking for more food. The first is greed and it does no favours to let kids think this is ok. Being hungry and asking for more food is not greed and if the child is overweight it’s not their fault as they are a child.

If I see an over 7-8yr old taking all of the limited amount of sweeties/cake/bubble wands/lip gloss from a sharing plate/pile and not leaving sufficient for everyone to have gets a “don’t be greedy, they are for everyone” (younger kids in particular not ones I know well get a more passive “we should all share nicely, leave some for others”) but older kids that know it’s not ok to take all the nice stuff for themselves get told so.

thats completely different to a hungry kid asking for seconds (or thirds) of dinner. They get offered more and if dinner is all gone they get directed to the fruit bowl as much as they like (seconds of pudding however are not given to those who did not eat their mains)

Re. Whining because they want toys... our doesn't really. If they ask, we sometimes say yes, but usually say no, because we are conscious that it would not be doing DC any favours letting them grow up spoiled by us saying yes to everything. Asking is absolutely allowed, but no means no.
We've explained that toys cost money, and we don't have enough money to buy everything just because we want it, and we don't have enough room either. We've delivered this message gently and consistently as a fact since they were old enough to start asking, and never caved. So they don't whine for things, there would be no point to it.
Calling anyone (adult or child) a name immediately puts up a barrier between you, and makes the other person less inclined to accept the point that's being communicated, so I think it's just a counterproductive tactic.

Have you genuinely never seen this grown pattern? They go out first, and then they stretch up

Yes, every year, they usually eat more before the stretch.

Definitely boys take a big stretch when puberty hits, girls not so much.

I thought that I would be tall. I was 5'4 age 11 then I stopped growing.

@Cinnamonrollsforbreakfast I'm sure it wasn't the direct cause of my ED. So I agree with you.
But it's stuck in my mind as some sort of trigger. Of course it wasn't her fault for saying it. Tbh I was greedy and quite fat back then. But I wouldn't say it to a kid, knowing how it affected me.

I wouldn't say that describes greedy, I'd call my child greedy if she shovels handfuls of crisps or sweets in, from a sharer bowl so that nobody else can have any but asking for seconds is fine, I wouldn't want any child to feel hungry.

I don't think greedy as a word is as shame inducing as words with more emotion like fat, pig, chubby etc. It's more describing that the child is not sharing well, you can be greedy with toys, crayons etc, not dinner, it's taking more than you should and I'd call that out, but not relate it to food/eating.