Calling a child greedy

[Miratea]

Isn’t it rude to call a child greedy if they want seconds of dinner even if they are visibly a bit chubby but not fat or unhealthy.

It's rude to anyone. It's mean and shames the child. There are better and kinder ways to teach children about portion size and being healthy.

I think it's unkind. I would either offer more veg if have extra or redirect to have a glass of milk, yogurt or fruit

But children (of all sizes, and adults) can be greedy and it’s not necessarily rude. Eg. If a child is demanding more food when they’ve not finished their first plate, or wanting a particularly large portion of dessert etc. Its simply describing their action at that time, rather than describing them as such.

But the parent can control the portion size! Bear in mind 27% of children are classed as overweight or obese with 15% being classed as obese. There are so many health conditions linked to obesity including some cancers.

InALonelyWorld
I'm sorry you had that experience at your GPs table.
It is ignorant and uncouth.
Totally disrespectful and unloving.
If I were you I would not grace them with your presence.
They don't deserve it.
And to be making rude comments about you to your children is even worse.
Shake the dust off your feet.
They are revealing thir own inadequacy.
Don't let it affect you.
All the very best.

I would never call anyone greedy for wanting more food, especially not a child, regardless of their weight. If someone asks for more food, I will gladly give it to them—I don’t want anyone to go hungry. If I don’t have enough, then that’s on me for not preparing/ordering adequately, which would be embarrassing.
I’m not sure of the full context—was this at a restaurant, a party, or a friend’s house? Was the child actually called greedy to their face? The only truly greedy behavior I see here is from the person failing to provide enough food, and even worse, the one ( not sure if the same person) shaming the child for wanting more.

There is a rule that should never be broken when it comes to children and food. Never ever connect how they are interacting with their food and judgement on their looks, personality or character, even as a joke or off the cuff remark. So if they are taking too much and not leaving for others you don't call them greedy, you say we need to leave enough to ensure everyone gets a fair share. Adults are so bad at being aware of how their words impact on children. Children don't know most adults talk a load of crap and are really impacted by comments like being called greedy.

I would say something if there was one portion left and somebody hasn’t had any food yet but I’d try and accommodate with more veggies or an apple as dessert or something to see how hungry they were.

The portions I serve are very arbitrary and I don’t calorie count kids meals so I don’t see a second helping as greedy. I’m also not a stickler for clearing a plate for the same reason- I served an arbitrary amount and hoped that it would satisfy their hunger.

Of course they can and they should.
But you deal with this through a consistent plan, not calling a child greedy. Connecting personality traits with interaction with food is a significant risk factor for future issues. We all know this but get lazy and label children. We need to do better.

I think it depends what the child was doing, not if they’re fat or slim. Were they filling their hands with biscuits so no one else could have any? That’s greedy.

I have no issue with using the correct words but I don’t think wanting seconds would class as greedy.

Very rude.
Being overweight doesn't prevent you being hungry.
Skinny people can be as greedy as overweight ones, they just don't get judged for irm

Greedy is a word designed to shame.

It’s a horrible thing to say to a child.

And greed to me would be taking more than someone else, wanting more treats etc (technically I think you mean gluttonous actually if referring to food, you can be greedy by hogging toys, it's not all about food)
But most importantly if a child has an unhealthy diet that should be tackled in different ways, and none of them should include name calling, shaming or humiliation.

Is it rude. No. It's vicious and designed to harm a child's psychological wellbeing, both now and well into their future adulthood. Children do not know how to cope with personal criticism born from adult nastiness and it often messes them up for life. Some people are fucking evil, over THINNESS. Worse still when they dress it up as concern for health.
That's a load of cobblers. That concern for the health of others doesn't stretch to concern for mental health or they'd keep their fat prejudiced traps firmly shut.

I don’t know why you asked this on here with it's overabundance of fatphobic food fascist control freaks.

They aren't satisfied unless a child is gaunt and emaciated.

Then again, this place is full of control freaks over plenty of other things so I don't know why I am surprised at the more unpleasant comments. I wonder if these people are as unpleasant offline as they are on. Probably not. It's easier to be a bully when you're anonymous.

"a bit chubby" is a euphemism for "fat".

Surely, you should concentrate on reducing the fat & there would be no need to be called greedy.

I castigate my slim DD if she’s being greedy (eg stuffing her face with an excess of unhealthy food). We talk about why it matters, so it’s not just a question of me saying “don’t be so greedy” and leaving it at that.

But it is greedy and I will name it as such.

She won’t remain slim and, much more importantly, healthy if I allow her to be greedy.

Even 'you are being greedy' is better than 'you are greedy' or 'don't you think that is a bit greedy'
If it's all the time then a talk away from the table is required about how to act.
But labeling children and negative comments and actions about food can have significant consequences. We all know this.

If I wanted to embarass or shame someone that is the word I would use . So I might think it but would be hard pushed to say it to or in front of a child . Especially if they were a bit overweight. I use the word about myself as I have a desire to overeat sweet things and would eat more than is acceptable. Possibly leaving less for others which is the epitome of greedy .

I’m sure I was called greedy as a child. It was widely used but I’ve grown up to be a normal healthy weight with no eating issues. I’m sure that’s true of many people. Perhaps the comment is very memorable to you because of your traumatic loss and your eating disorder? I am sorry about your ED, I don’t wish to be in any way cruel about it - just offering an alternative viewpoint.

If it's a second helping of vegetables, it's not greedy, it's hunger. Just rude and unpleasant to call that "greedy".

If it's pudding, then yes it's greedy but it depends on the tone and context. I am sure I've called my kids greedy, no one felt shame 😂

Would you apply this to all derogatory or negative adjectives though eg unkind, dishonest, lazy, entitled, etc. There are times where a negative adjective is needed for both children and adults imo.

If my child is going to grab everything on a buffet before waiting turns, I'll say not to be greedy and let other get their share. I'll also reference myself being greedy when I'm over indulgencing. It isn't ever said offensively, and we will laugh. If myy parents hasn't shown me what greed looked like than I'd be over weight and unregulated now. Greedy children turn into greedy adults. I agree not to embarrass/insult, but a child should know what greed looks like, and which behaviours demonstrate it.

Ok but that’s not to say that everyone who has been told ‘don't be greedy’ ends up with issues around eating. It’s not the same as saying ‘you are a greedy horrible child’. Kids who have good self esteem can hear ‘don’t be greedy’ the same way as they hear ‘don’t be naughty ’ or ‘don’t jump on the sofa’

A child that takes more than their share of something or a child over-indulging in something like cake or sweets etc. beyond what is a healthy amount is being greedy. I wouldn't have a problem with calling them that. That's how they will learn it is both socially unacceptable and unhealthy for them.

@dangermouseseyepatch

Posters having a grasp on portion control and wanting their children to be healthy is not the negative you seem to think it is.