Calling a child greedy

[Miratea]

Isn’t it rude to call a child greedy if they want seconds of dinner even if they are visibly a bit chubby but not fat or unhealthy.

Not a word I would ever use to describe someone. It is rude and unnecessary in my opinion.

I have never done this, but I certainly used to think it sometimes about kids taking more than their fair share, and not leaving enough for others. Probably partly my own fault for not plating up the portions myself when they were eating here. Nothing to do with the size or shape of the child.

Some children are greedy though aren’t they. Whether they should be called that is another matter but they definitely have the capacity to be that, chubby or not.

It’s a horrible word meant to shame no matter the situation.

Did nobody reprimand them? This is doing them (and society) no good in the long run.

Exactly. I think it depends on the situation. A child wanting extra of their dinner is hungry. A child wanting to eat icecream, followed by a doughnut, crisps etc would be greedy. Dc2 is slim, healthy, but can be very greedy when
it comes to sweet stuff; it isn't hunger. It is greed for indulgent food. My other dc is very good at self-regulating and would pick one thing. The other would want several. They have both been raised exactly the same.
I call myself greedy in a jokey way when I over indulge, I'll say to dcs "Mummy's being greedy, and they'll laugh and sag "naughty Mummy!" I'm within my BMI, but I'm human, and we all have our days! Greedy guts was a known saying when I was growing up, we all just laughed it off; it was never meant to cause offence.

It all depends if they were in fact being greedy.
Did they have plenty to eat in the first instance? Is it a regular thing for the child to ask for more food when they have had what should be more than sufficient for a child of their age?
I wouldn't want to encourage a child to overeat.

If someone's being greedy, they're being greedy.

It has absolutely nothing to do with their weight 😳

But it's a word that's frowned upon now and I'm not sure what's been chosen to replace it?

Yes, it's rude to call someone greedy for asking for more food. It is, however, ok to say "no, I think you've had enough of this extremely carby / not particularly healthy dinner. Would you like some vegetables instead to help fill you up?".

I agree with others that greed is generally more to do with snacks and treats but also making sure everyone has enough.

Yes but greed is a horrible thing.

If there's any shame involved, they're bringing it upon themselves by being greedy surely?

It’s a pretty horrible thing to do

Meh, some kids can be greedy. As can adults - I know I can be!

I actually don't see "greedy" as a bad word unless it's followed by "don't be greedy, no wonder you're getting fat" or similar.

Make sure their meals are healthy and not processed, cook the right amount for everyone to have one portion. If there are leftovers freeze them for another day. There should be no such thing as seconds or thirds, just your meal.

Calling a child greedy is setting them up to have issues around food if it's something that happens frequently.

If they are visibly chubby though, then they are overweight. You should still be able to see a child's ribs at 10 years old.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12226744

It’s unacceptable to call a child greedy over seconds for dinner.

Yes, gluttony isn't a positive trait. It is important to recognise when you're being greedy imo. I remember as a child my parents telling me I was being greedy, because I wanted two packets of crisps in a row (I was). If they had have just left me to eat what I wanted, and sugar coated it, I'd now be a fat adult who deemed lots of snacks as normal. My dcs know what is greedy and what isn't. We joke about it, and it is never said offensively, but it is important to know when you're over indulging so that you're not doing it every day. Dh, and I will call ourselves greedy if we are being that.

Seconds for dinner sounds more like hunger/larger appetite (could be from over eating previously in some people potentially), and not greed.

I think it's rude to call a child (or adult) greedy for simply eating more dinner. I'd call them hungry. I wouldn't even call a kid wanting more chips or ice cream greedy. It's normal and it's our job as adults to direct them to more acceptable foods is they've had enough treat food.

The only acceptable use I can immediately think of for 'greedy' is if someone eats all of a shared food before others have had a chance to have some.

Totally! Self fulfilling prophecy. I was identified as the chubby one as a child (guess what, looking back I was totally fine) and ta da, lifelong food&identity issues. It may not make sense to adult minds but it’s a tale as old as time.

You realise you’re talking about a child?? What do you think has caused a child to behave greedily? Could be a whole host of causes rather than a personality flaw. And even if it’s a plain old personality flaw, why not approach it compassionately and ease them away from that trait, just like you hopefully would with rudeness, violence, show-offiness etc?

I would NEVER call a child greedy or anything similar to their face or within earshot. I grew up with family members calling me fat and greedy, it really impacted my relationship with food and my own self image. To the point where I would be physically sick if I ever had to eat infront of anyone. I still can't eat at a grandparents house without comments like "do you ever stop eating", "look at mummy stuffing her face again, it's not wonder her clothes don't it". It still makes me uncomfortable but it doesn't have the same impact on me now. I could never be the reason another person ever had to experience that.

I once knew someone used to call his nephew greedy. It was clear he wasn't actually being fed a lot at home so would sometimes fill up when he got the opportunity but still, instead of making an extra bowl of cereal for the nephew alongside his one, he bullied him for even asking.

This.

I have several nieces and nephews, one ALWAYS goes for the biggest plate or bowl of anything that is served, even if we know they don't like it and they'll only eat a mouthful. That's greed.

We tell kids off for being to loud, or being unkind, or not picking their mess up. Why SHOULDN'T we tell them off for being greedy?

It turns a behaviour into a negative character trait. Which is wrong - tell the child frequently enough (which may be just once) and they will believe that they're greedy even when they are actually hungry/inadequately nourished.

Calling a child greedy is judgemental.

If they are visibly chubby though, then they are overweight. You should still be able to see a child's ribs at 10 years old

That takes no account of body type or growth spurts. It’s very common for a child to fill out, then have a growth spurt. It’s very unlikely you’d ever see an endomorph’s ribs at any age.

It’s something my mum says to her grandkids ( not mine ). I think most people would know not to say such things to a child.

I think it’s quite damaging to label a child greedy even if they are being so. I also think it’s a dangerous attitude to have that all children are naturally slim and if they have any extra weight then they are unhealthy, that also sends an unhealthy message around food and dieting. However it is absolutely within the parents control to encourage healthy attitudes to food and eating and discuss food in a way that explains the nutrition and benefits of a balanced diet instead particularly as when children go through growth spurts they will often be more hungry and may be seen as greedy. As a side note, my DS may be seen as overweight as he is mostly slim but has a belly on him- he can be greedy but we ensure he eats plenty of fruit and veg (which he enjoys) and that treats are in moderation. He’s still genuinely still hungry I don’t deny him but give him healthy options to choose from.