Is your life a bit boring, like mine?

[Imgoingbacktothestart77]

Mid 40’s, with a 6 year old Dc.
I live abroad, so life should be more interesting really…lots of beaches, sun, places to go, things to do. I work part time and have some nice friends and a Dh i’ve been with for years.
When I was younger, I was pretty wild from a young age and had lots of fun..90’s style…clubs, drinking, smoking, drugs and so on, they were incredible times.
I then got into my career and worked hard, travelled to a great many places then settled in one place abroad. We had Dd a little later and I stayed home with her and was v happy and fulfilled.
Now, I just feel this sense of ‘Meh’ and ‘What now?’ drifting in.
Everything feels very samey, I feel like we’ve visited everywhere near us and things and places I used to feel excited to go to, now I just feel like I can’t really be bothered.
The most exciting thing is cooking a roast or something nice at the weekend, I used to enjoy this and the small things..now it just all seems so dull.

How do you make your lives more interesting?

Does anyone feel like me?

Absolutely. I feel like my light dimmed when I married & had children. Life is so dull & boring since.

Well stop cooking roasts for a start! It the most tedious meal. Masses of effort for something that tastes of brown.

What do you like? What are you interested in? Go travelling some more. Learn a new skill. Read, listen, watch, think. You aren't going to be young ever again so you have to get a picture in your head of what a really cool older you looks like and do that.

Feel exactly the same and still don't know how to make it 'better'.

Are you working again? From your post it sounds like you stopped and haven't restarted. That would be the first thing I would do.
Secondly, get some new hobbies. Branch out into things you've always wanted to do but been scared to try. You'll meet lots of new people, challenge your brain, go to new places and see things in a new light. You could try to start a hobby with your husband if you'd like to broaden your horizons together, or on your own if you're feeling the need to individualise yourself.
I am in a rather similar position to you (living abroad for many years, one 5 y/o DC). My husband and I have recently taken up a hobby together, and I've also started one on my own, and they've been incredibly enriching.

I think if you've achieved or explored all the 'outward' things you wanted to, perhaps it's time to explore the inner things? Are there any personal qualities that you'd like to develop? Are there things you'd like to do more research or learning around? What about exploring new interests or learning a new skill?

My life feels boring and empty at the moment.

I am mid 30s with a teenager who is very independent and sociable and almost all of my friends have fizzled out. The only person I’m close to lives a few hours away and I’m not seeing them until March.

I have more free time than ever and nobody to spend time with. Clubs aren’t for me, I’m always a bit left out in groups so I’d rather not make myself feel worse for going.

Something has to change though.

What do you find interesting? We're all different. I certainly wouldn't say that drinking, smoking, clubs and drugs would indicate "incredible times" to me. I wonder if some counselling would help to uncover what you really value in life and what fulfils you.

It could also be age - perimenopause hormones making everything feel a bit grey?

Plan more travel, gigs, theatre. Get a new qualification or hobby. Set a personal fitness goal like running a half marathon or climbing a mountain? Do something for charity. Make something.

The expression "Boring is as Boring does" springs to mind here. You need to do something so you feel less bored.

I don’t find those things interesting now and barely even drink these days…but life held such excitement back then

@Imgoingbacktothestart77 could you be perimenopausal? That’s how I felt before I went on HRT.

I work part time around my Dc

Probably..! I’m guessing i’m the age for it and v irregular periods now, I can go months between them

I adored it when Dd was very little as it was all so new, taking her for walks and getting a coffee or meeting friends at soft play was great as I had yearned for that life and I embraced it all. Now it doesn’t feel the same

No, I cannot relate to that dull description of life at all.

Financially not really able to go travelling more, definitely not the way I once could sadly

How is your life interesting?

There was a similar thread recently like this where the poster was asking if this is all there is to life. I think we can all feel like this especially with kids... there is little time for fun/exciting/adventurous stuff BUT this stuff rarely just comes to us.. need to seek it out ourselves. Book a course/try a new hobby/travel to a different area/go on a different type of holiday/reach out to new people/volunteer etc

Normal to feel this way... life feels very different for me after having kids too agree

Take a lover

It doesn’t sound boring. Do you still get alone time with your DH? Why can’t you go back full time to work then you have more money to travel?

I’d settle for dull and mundane at the moment, my life has been incredibly stressful for the last couple of years with bereavement, anxiety and life changing accidents.

You are almost me! Hello me!

someone suggested counselling up thread - there are some really interesting things you can explore through things like coaching, around what drives you, what your values are, what you bring to things, what you need to have around you. I did an analysis like this as part of leadership development for work and I found it so inspiring and useful to think about what I need to give my life colour and spark. If you liked the time in your life that brimmed with possibilities, do you need to meet some new people for example?

😅I was mulling this over the other day…joking

I am the opposite! I hated the clubbing years - felt like every bloody Friday and Saturday night was the same. Maybe different club, maybe slightly different mix of people but just generally a bunch of boring, shallow arseholes getting drunk and obsessing about themselves. Dreadful!

I am much better at being middle aged - traveling, able to meet people from different generations with different perspectives. Every weekend doesn’t have to follow the same old pattern. If I want to go to a pub I can, but can also find people who want to go to dinner, or on a city break weekend, or I go out solo, or stay in and read or watch a film.

amywb you are looking at your youth through rose tinted glasses? Or maybe it’s because it was a short period of your life? It would have eventually got boring!