To think working is impossible as a single parent

[Okwhatn0w]

Currently a stay at home single mother have been for the past 6 years, dc is 8 years old.
I worked 40 hours a week before becoming a lone parent and earned nearly half the amount I currently get on UC, I know if I return to work that i will be much worse off but not having anything else bar my dc to keep me entertained is quite literally driving me insane.

Any advice? I wouldn’t even know where to start.

If you're not working then why have UC not sanctioned you?

I managed to work full time as a single parent back when there was virtually no child care so I’m pretty sure it’s possible now.

Disability benefits are a joke and very lucrative?? Try having SEN kids it's no fucking picnic

My mum was a single parent from when dsis and I were 2 & 4. She worked 9-4 mon-Fri. We were in nursery all day and back then you started school at 5yrs old and finished at 16. She struggled and I remember her spending all weekend washing and doing housework until we were old enough to help. We were latch key kids. Loads of us were. We had tea at 6pm bed at 8pm.

You worked in a school before surely that's ideal with a school age child? If low income you'd still get UC top up and a percentage of any childcare back eg after school club. Your child is 8 and doesn't seem to have any additional needs. You need to work.

@Gettingbyslowly

🥱🥱 I've got my whole life to work, babe. I'll happily be at home with my severely physically disabled child for now. You crying about 'lucrative disability benefits' isn't going to make the government lower them - maybe you should just be thankful you haven't had to make the decision to have your child's limbs amputated.

I didn’t quite expect there to be such underlying judgment in some of the responses, but can I ask anyone who is having a negative response do you get child care help as in the other parent see their child, grandparents maybe? Do you have an education? How hard did you have to work to get to where you are now? Genuinely curious as I know if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn’t be quite as comfortable to just think benefit scrounge sanction her.
I came here for guidance more than anything, thank you for some of the kind words of encouragement!

Of course it's possible, I returned to work 23 hours a week when dc was 5 months and full time when dc was 9 months, I worked full time and did 2 post grad qualifications to gain promotions, off course it was challenging but the long term benefits were great, no financial support or childcare from dc dad, the reliance on benefits is something I don't understand unless the parent or child has disabilities

You won't be worse off on UC. What makes you think you would be? UC tops up wages so people are always financially better off in work. Also, how are you getting away with claiming UC if you work? You would need to evidence you are looking for work to claim it?

It is possible but it is hard both for you and your kids. You can’t do all the things you’d like for them, and have to make choices that are far from ideal. I work full time and my two summer borns in reception and year 3 and constantly exhausted. My littlest often cries on the walk home from after school club as he is so tired. It’s eating too much beige food, reading books when they are tired and ratty and attempting to catch up on washing etc at 9/10pm. It isn’t what I’d hoped for them with walking home at 3pm, playing, homework and cooking as they relaxed.

But it is do-able and I hope it gets easier. And they get some privileges I couldn’t afford otherwise etc And I know I can provide for them and will have skills for work as they get older

What an awful comment. The poster is clearly trying to get in a position where she can earn if her child's needs reduce. You clearly have no idea about disability. Maybe one day you will experience a severe disability yourself and look back on your judgemental attitude with regret.

I'm a single parent to 3 kids and I have a full time job. It's hard, but I see it as investing in my future. I'm making pension contributions, progressing my career. I get UC top ups now, but I won't always get that when the kids are older, and I don't want to be in a position where I'm suddenly no longer eligible for UC and not able to financially support myself because I haven't worked for years. I want to get out of the benefits trap ASAP to be honest.

I am lucky that I have a flexible and understanding employer though, which makes things easier to manage.

Of course it's not impossible. I managed and during the toddler years when I paid for full time childcare. Didn't get any maintenance payments either, so I was completely alone.

I really appreciate your transparency! Do you mind me asking what it is that you do?

It’s not impossible - I’m a single mum of two, both have complex needs with no informal childcare/support outside of the kids dad. I work full time, I have a very flexible employer and work from home most of the time. I also was well established in my career before kids and have very sought after skills in my profession. If any of those variables were different it would be much more difficult.

I am guessing you might be a carer because otherwise they would want you working?

I think it looks very hard certainly. I work full time in a very demanding job and if anything happened to DH I can't imagine how it would work.

I’m a nurse, I don’t work full time but have a disabled son so I get dla for him and uc and also have 3 other children.
it isn’t easy but it is possible especially when at school, there isn’t really an alternative to working how else to the bills get paid. My son only goes to school part time, it’s been such a struggle don’t get me wrong but I love my job too, I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t work.

Yes I am, near enough full time

I have been a single parent for years. Have 3 kids, no family within 250 miles and an ex who worked overseas and always worked. I used wrap around care until they went to secondary. Not easy, but very do-able. My career is a big part of my identity, so can’t imagine not working.

I’m a solo parent (6 yrs old) and work. My job is full time but I squeeze as much as I can into school hours and then catch up when needed once he is in bed or at the weekend. Luckily my work measures output and is not counting hours, plus I have been there 13 years so I have built up enough trust to have complete flexibility over my hours. I also volunteer every Friday (and have been for 8 years, I was working part time when I started and when they offered me a full time job, that offer came with Fridays off if I wanted to keep volunteering).
I completely get that I am very fortunate to have such flexibility and I am very grateful, but I have also worked hard to earn that right and respect.
It is absolutely possible to work as a single parent, but you need to find something that works for you. Good luck! 💕

I work for a housing association. It's a hybrid role so a mixture of WFH, office and doing visits. I'm lucky that I can make it work around my kids, I can't imagine I'd cope for long if I had to commute to the office 5 days a week.

That's a ridiculous amount of money to get for not working! No wonder you don't want to get a job! Thus makes me cross. Plenty of people slave their guts out for less and work 30+ hours per week!

@cherish123 my son is severely disabled and gets the highest rates of DLA and I get carers allowance. I'd much rather my son have all 4 limbs and be working 30+ hours a week👍🏼

I simply claim what we are entitled to as most people would in my position if they were unable to work due to being a single mother to a severely disabled child. Complain to the government, not me.

Agreed. It's not your fault. I also appreciate if you have to pay carers so your benefits are really 36k minus carer pay. Apologies- not a slight on you.