Difficulties with colleagues

[Ereerenownow]

To feel like a complete outsider at work. Smallish team all women of late 40s/50s. I'm slightly younger. I accept that I don't have much in common with them but I am really ostracised by them and the manager who is also female and similar age to others and good friends with 2 of them. When I first started one of the original ogs accused me of something I didn't do and even though witnesses came forward to put her right, she kept escalating abd escalating the situation until mediators had to be involved and she was given a warning by hr.

Manager took her side and made me feel like I was cracking up, accusing me of causing trouble and trying to force me to apologise to my accuser which I refused to do as i hadnt done anything wrong. Looking back I think this was a mistake as I was seen as a problem and a trouble maker as the manager wouldn't acknowledge that I was falsely accused.
Now the women including manager go out for lunch without me, are going on holiday together (I overheard them talking about it) and generally making me feel like shit. I've tried to build bridges by being friendly etc but it seems that one after the other, they seem to have a problem with me until im at the point when I feel sick at the thought of going into work. My confidence has gone and although on the surface they are mostly polite to me, I see them giving me the side eye and smirking at each other. For various reasons, I can't leave the job at the moment but I do need some tips or suggestions on how to not let this get to me.

OP only called out her colleague as this colleague spoke to OP directly to criticise one of their co-workers. OP responded to say that she didn't agree with her colleague's opinion. She didn't insert herself into a private conversation, the colleague addressed her remarks to OP.

OP wants to work in an environment without a clique of bullies who are supported by a very inappropriate manager. That does not make OP miserable.

Op called out the colleague directly AND spoke to another colleague calling the first colleagues remarks inappropriate.

This could be viewed as interfering and triangulation.
Stay neutral -
Colleague is slating others -don't give your opinion , just stay out of it
Absolutely don't discuss with anyone else

That way you steer clear of this type of thing

I wasn't reading OP as needy in any way. We will all have different perspectives on work. You can't make social relations via grievance procedures, was my point.

Yes, I understand. But I have a different perspective to you - I don't think these dynamics will be changed or repaired by formally 'challenging' them or asking managers to do so unless they become genuinely actionable - and probably not then in pragmatic reality.

I wish more people were like you OP and stood up to people slagging others off. It's not professional or appropriate to behave like that.

I don't know what I'd do. Probably just keep going and wait for the manager to leave.

All these posters who think that people should ignore the kind of behaviour described by the OP are part of the reason that workplace bullying flourishes.

No they are not
The person speaking nastily is responsible for her own behaviour.
It is the job of her manager to deal with it NOT the Op and Op actually fell into the woman's trap
People who thrive on chaos and conflict are looking to press peoples buttons so that they can go berserk
They thrive on it and the drama.
Op should have excused herself, said nothing and not repeated it instead of reacting

The bully owns her own words ...

Imagine a fire, fan it and apply oxygen or just let it go out ?

Agree.