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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What if Sandie Peggie......... identifies as a Muslim Woman?

111 replies

eulittleb831 · 07/02/2025 09:21

I openly want to push why a male Doctor believes it to be acceptable to use an exclusively female changing room, intimidating and provoking an experienced nurse who was heavily menstruating, not that her cycle defines whether a male should be in a female changing room or not in my view. Surely the legal track of the employment tribunal would be entirely different, and his conduct would be impacting on her religious beliefs and privacy? Sandie Peggie is a white woman, is presumably not protected by any religious beliefs, but why? The Muslim community would not stand for his conduct and rightly so. Will any decision not in Ms Peggies favour be subsequently upended by Beth/Brian/Frank imposing himself on the women's changing room when a woman of colour or Muslim woman is enjoying the privacy of that space?

OP posts:
myplace · 07/02/2025 15:06

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 07/02/2025 14:48

But you can have your knob and balls removed and a vagina fashioned surgically. And those transitioning (properly) have testosterone reducing drugs.

You can but
1- why does that make a difference? If I’m struggling with flooding menstruation I don’t want to be trying to manage it in front of a man with or without his cock and balls.
2- why assume he has? Most don’t.

Beowulfa · 07/02/2025 15:13

Those who are interested can follow the tribunal threads in the Naughty Corner.

Of course the reaction would have been different if a female Muslim colleague had asked for the women's changing rooms to be single sex.

But women shouldn't have to justify their need for single sex facilities due to religion, or have to describe heavy periods to the world via a court. In a civilised society single sex spaces should be a given (they benefit men and boys too). Decent men know this. Dr Upton is not a decent man.

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 07/02/2025 15:17

myplace · 07/02/2025 15:06

You can but
1- why does that make a difference? If I’m struggling with flooding menstruation I don’t want to be trying to manage it in front of a man with or without his cock and balls.
2- why assume he has? Most don’t.

I did not assume, don't put words in my mouth. I was pointing out that is how transitioning happenns for those who are serious trans rather than those who want to identify as female yet aren't prepared to lose their bits

FranticFrankie · 07/02/2025 15:19

‘Serious’ trans? Rather than those who ‘want to identify as female’ ? What the heck is the difference?

HouseOfGoldandBones · 07/02/2025 15:29

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 11:23

The nurse seems to have behaved unprofessionally here. Regardless of her views on trans issues, she needs to treat colleagues respectfully in a work setting.

It is not sustainable to have a situation where she refuses to communicate with the doctor about patient care.

She may think the transitioning doctor shouldn’t be using the female changing room, but she should have raised her concerns through the appropriate channels rather than being rude.

In any event, there are cubicles in the changing room so this seems to be more a case of ideological and dogmatic views being put before what is best for staff and patients.

She did raise her concerns through the appropriate channels & was told to discuss it with the male Doctor (according to both parties)

There are lavatory cubicles in the changing rooms, is that what you mean?

HouseOfGoldandBones · 07/02/2025 15:29

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 14:14

I agree it isn’t possible. However, in this instance, there were private cubicles available. The nurse seems to have refused to have a professional relationship with the doctor for ideological reasons, which no hospital can tolerate.

By "private cubicles" do you mean the lavatories?

JHound · 07/02/2025 15:33

In English?

And do you think there are no female muslim nurses?

I am trying to understand this word salad?

delvan · 07/02/2025 15:43

Sounds like male entitlement to me. A doctor who would not accept being asked to do anything by a mere nurse. In a nutshell.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 07/02/2025 15:49

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 14:10

Any staff member who refuses to communicate professionally with a colleague for ideological reasons cannot and should not be in a hospital setting.

Any staff member who imposes an ideology that many women see as harmful - onto another staff member who doesn’t have to believe in or adhere to said ideology if they don’t want to, is unprofessional and shouldn’t be working in a hospital.

Like this man did to this nurse by going into a space he wasn’t entitled to be in (being a man) and making her uncomfortable and shitting over her boundaries.

Honestly there are some women who will
defend and prioritise men, especially the ones with special identities, over women no matter what.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 07/02/2025 15:50

It’s the HEIGHT of male entitlement in plain sight.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 07/02/2025 15:50

@Ponoka7

‘The tribunal was told Ms Peggie refused to acknowledge or look at Dr Upton when discussing the patient."

Told by whom ? The complainant? If it wasn’t captured on cctv or instantly noted by unbiased witnesses, it is just hearsay, and so not admissible as evidence.

maddening · 07/02/2025 15:53

TemporaryPosition · 07/02/2025 09:51

This is so disingenuous and it does the cause no favours.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-64835023

An autistic kid accidently dropped a Quran in Wakfield and was recorded as having committed a hate incident, the mother was left petrified after meeting with a group of 'community leaders' who issued death threats to her son.

This would never ever happen between white Christians in the UK today over a bible. And you know it. Pretending not to makes people look like liars which is very dangerous.

A man has been charged due to burning a book he owned as it was the qoran

maddening · 07/02/2025 15:54

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 07/02/2025 15:17

I did not assume, don't put words in my mouth. I was pointing out that is how transitioning happenns for those who are serious trans rather than those who want to identify as female yet aren't prepared to lose their bits

Being true trans is transphobic!

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 07/02/2025 15:57

You cannot properly ‘identify ‘ as a Muslim woman. You can convert to Islam and obey its precepts. That would make you a Muslim. ( or so I believe).

MissyB1 · 07/02/2025 16:05

Well some posters have clearly never been in a hospital changing room! It's not like a gym or swimming pool! Cubicles?? I've never seen any, someone implied she could change in a locker, errmm the lockers are small metal boxes for your clothes and handbag, you can't climb into them 😂
Look, it's usually a small room, if youre lucky there might be a bench, but they are mostly glorified cupboards with one toilet cubicle. The toilet cubicle isn't really big enough to get changed in, and why would a man get to hog the female changing room with the woman being forced into the toilet?

SinnerBoy · 07/02/2025 16:17

The claim that SP didn't gaze worshipfully into Upton's eyes as he expounded is a red herring, in any case. You don't need to look at someone in order to hear them.

NImumconfused · 07/02/2025 16:19

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 07/02/2025 15:50

@Ponoka7

‘The tribunal was told Ms Peggie refused to acknowledge or look at Dr Upton when discussing the patient."

Told by whom ? The complainant? If it wasn’t captured on cctv or instantly noted by unbiased witnesses, it is just hearsay, and so not admissible as evidence.

It's important to note that she was actually discussing the patient with another staff member who had asked her about the patient, not Dr Upton.

eulittleb831 · 07/02/2025 16:36

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 07/02/2025 14:46

Presumption and assumption. Ah yes, the basis for a rational argument.
Bugger the facts.

Not really with you on this one. Beth/Brian/Frank will undoubtedly seek to impose himself on the women’s changing room when other females are there, and it is a statement of fact that in the short to medium term one of those parties will be a Muslim woman. Sandie is standing for herself and all women, should she be a Muslim the legal track and narrative would be entirely different and it may well be in the future as well if the ET doesn’t properly direct itself.

OP posts:
eulittleb831 · 07/02/2025 16:42

username299 · 07/02/2025 11:39

I'm not sure how it would work if the woman was from a religion where she couldn't share a space with men because surely the mantra is he's a woman - trans women are women. They would tell the woman that she's not sharing a space with a man.

Trans Women are Women? Says who? What are you smokin’ and where can I get some?

OP posts:
eulittleb831 · 07/02/2025 16:43

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 07/02/2025 15:57

You cannot properly ‘identify ‘ as a Muslim woman. You can convert to Islam and obey its precepts. That would make you a Muslim. ( or so I believe).

You can’t properly identify as a woman either but there is a new world order out there have you heard?

OP posts:
scorpiogirly · 07/02/2025 16:45

Blimey. Bathroom issue aside which i wholeheartedly agree with you on by the way, imagine being treated by him!

username299 · 07/02/2025 16:47

eulittleb831 · 07/02/2025 16:42

Trans Women are Women? Says who? What are you smokin’ and where can I get some?

I don't smoke. From what I understand from TRAs, trans women are women. A woman was raped in a hospital ward and was informed that there were only women on the ward. The person who raped her was trans.

So according to the NHS for a start.

Freysimo · 07/02/2025 16:55

Motomum23 · 07/02/2025 12:07

Any man pretending to be a woman is playing dress up. Their needs do not trump the needs of any other woman.

I totally agree. "Transitioning" my arse.

FranticFrankie · 07/02/2025 16:58

Transwomen are men- otherwise there’d be no transition

ThatsNotMyTeen · 07/02/2025 16:58

Ponoka7 · 07/02/2025 09:50

I've changed my vote to YABU. The doctor is transitioning (not just playing dress up) and there are cubicles within the changing room. I think that this should have been better managed. However the Nurse doesn't accept them as a woman, so the doctor would have to be given seperate changing facilities. I'd be more interested to know if the doctor is now allowed to carry out intimate examinations without a female chaperone. If it was in a warehouse my answer would be different. I'd say that the trans person should use the seperate facilities.

The doctor is a male with (I suppose we have to accept) the protected characteristic of gender reassignment. He had no business being in a female changing room

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