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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Police interview tomorrow for harassment

94 replies

Chanjh25 · 06/02/2025 21:37

So I'll try make this as short as problem

My sister has a drug addiction and has for the last five years, it's got so bad that me and my brother had to give her cpr
She has five kids at home
When she's on drugs all of my family leave her too it (as we have tried many times and she just turns evil) only me has helped her I've tried helping her I've enabled her looking after her kids whilst she's high out her face so they are safe atleast
Now I'm her number one target when I confront her again she does anything to ruin my life she's gone into the school and told them all these horrible lies about me about my kids that social services themselves contacted me
When we are good and she's not on drugs we get on like a house on fire but when she's on drugs in her target the things she has said and done to me are traumatic that I'm genuinely suffering with PTSD
I block her she messages my other account I block that she messages me some way saying she's going to make sure my kids get taken from me she's made numerous threats how she's going to batter the life out of me when she sees me last year it got so bad that I had to ring the police and report her for stalking a harassment
To today I get a phone call from my local police station they want me to go in voluntary or I will be arrested for harassment
Don't get me wrong I'm not innocent in all this when she argues with me I have argued back with her and said some stuff but done nothing other then to her,
So I'm actually in shock right now because the last five years she has harassed me and ruined my life
So how can she have the balls to ring the police on me for harassment when she's done all this to me for five years.. why are drug addicts like this? Why after all I was trying to do is help her but tbh I think I've just enabled her is now she's tryna olay the victim? To add I have kept all the messages all the threats and all the evidence of her being on drugs I've found them in her house numerous times now this isn't soenthibg I want to do but when I go in thag interview tomorrow I'm going to have to tell the police literally everything but I still feel guilty please don't suggest about social because she's taking drugs around her kids because I've tried that she's bulletproof they did NFA because as we know addicts are good at lying and covering their backs however I have proof of it all

OP posts:
Original poster
Chanjh25 · 06/02/2025 21:39

Also to add I've not been in contact with her for over a month she's blocked on literally everything possible so why now has she done this I'm so confused

OP posts:
username299 · 06/02/2025 21:40

They can't do anything without evidence. If there's no evidence of you harassing her then you should be fine.

I've no idea why you haven't reported her to everyone possible regarding her children.

PaintDecisions · 06/02/2025 21:43

If you haven't sorted the duty solicitor, ask the officer you're meeting to arrange it ASAP and do NOT carry out an interview - voluntary or otherwise - without the duty solicitor present.

I'm an ex copper and would never be interviewed without a legal advisor with me.

If the interview has to be postponed, so be it.

mynameiscalypso · 06/02/2025 21:47

I agree with PP - get the duty solicitor in with you. From what you've said, it sounds like it's entirely malicious on her side but I think it's always worth having a lawyer with you.

Endofyear · 06/02/2025 22:30

Definitely ask for the duty solicitor when you go for your police interview and take all evidence to show you haven't been harassing her. Speak to the police about her drug use and your worries for her children - they have a duty to involve social services. Apart from that, keep away from her and don't contact her. Report any further incidents to police immediately.

SpringBunnyHopHop · 06/02/2025 22:32

Her kids are around that? Wow.

maddening · 06/02/2025 22:50

Agree with pp - you defo need a solicitor

Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 00:24

PaintDecisions · 06/02/2025 21:43

If you haven't sorted the duty solicitor, ask the officer you're meeting to arrange it ASAP and do NOT carry out an interview - voluntary or otherwise - without the duty solicitor present.

I'm an ex copper and would never be interviewed without a legal advisor with me.

If the interview has to be postponed, so be it.

I have a solicitor who's meeting me there

OP posts:
Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 00:26

Endofyear · 06/02/2025 22:30

Definitely ask for the duty solicitor when you go for your police interview and take all evidence to show you haven't been harassing her. Speak to the police about her drug use and your worries for her children - they have a duty to involve social services. Apart from that, keep away from her and don't contact her. Report any further incidents to police immediately.

I have kept far from her as I possibly can, my brothers telling me no comment so it will be taken to court and I can present my evidence then? I logged all of this last year with them so I don't get how they didn't see any of that I actually lost my shit in the phone when they rang me asking me to go in like is she actually being serious

OP posts:
Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 00:26

username299 · 06/02/2025 21:40

They can't do anything without evidence. If there's no evidence of you harassing her then you should be fine.

I've no idea why you haven't reported her to everyone possible regarding her children.

I have no one is listening to me

OP posts:
Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 00:38

SpringBunnyHopHop · 06/02/2025 22:32

Her kids are around that? Wow.

Yep once when I knew she was on stuff because I've become so use to it I took them out her house without her knowing them gaslit her and lied to her face saying I hadn't touched them just like she lied to my face..
Then the next time I found them again but left them there cuz I was done I woke her up and told her she didn't let me out her house I had my daughter who was two at the time and she was screaming in my face stood infront of the front door and wouldn't let me leave when I eventually got out and to the top of the street she coming running uo to me barefooted screaming in my face saying she was gunna hit me she didn't she started crying and the walked off so obvs I cut contact with her then a few weeks after I was having drinks at my brothers kids was at there dads, I got a phone call off my niece saying that mum won't wake up (her my sister) me and my brother ran round as he was only like 3 streets away from her we walked in she was face down on the settee in like a praying position her sim was wrapped up with his blankie askeep st his feet she was unresponsive with no pulse I started giving cpr but couldn't hold my emotions in so my brother took over ambulance turned up and sorted her out nothing happened then another time similar thing so my younger sister told the ambulance crew everything nothing still happened honestly she's invincible

OP posts:
KnickerFolder · 07/02/2025 09:27

Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 00:26

I have kept far from her as I possibly can, my brothers telling me no comment so it will be taken to court and I can present my evidence then? I logged all of this last year with them so I don't get how they didn't see any of that I actually lost my shit in the phone when they rang me asking me to go in like is she actually being serious

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This is not good advice. You should discuss with your solicitor what you should do and take their advice.

scorpiogirly · 07/02/2025 09:28

She should be reported to SS.

pimplebum · 07/02/2025 09:36

I am sorry ss are not saving her kids
please report all of this to the police in your interview and hopefully the poor babies will be removed to safety

Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 09:37

PaintDecisions · 06/02/2025 21:43

If you haven't sorted the duty solicitor, ask the officer you're meeting to arrange it ASAP and do NOT carry out an interview - voluntary or otherwise - without the duty solicitor present.

I'm an ex copper and would never be interviewed without a legal advisor with me.

If the interview has to be postponed, so be it.

Hiya morning do you know anyone I can contact to make an complaint about the social services not taking me seriously?

OP posts:
Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 09:37

@KnickerFolder I will be doing thankyou

OP posts:
Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 09:38

scorpiogirly · 07/02/2025 09:28

She should be reported to SS.

I all ready have well I went into the school (our kids go to the same school) and told them everything shown them all the evidence the well being coordinator rang the social services department I don't think they even come out just spoke to her on the phone

OP posts:
Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 09:38

pimplebum · 07/02/2025 09:36

I am sorry ss are not saving her kids
please report all of this to the police in your interview and hopefully the poor babies will be removed to safety

I am going to do

OP posts:
scorpiogirly · 07/02/2025 09:39

Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 09:38

I all ready have well I went into the school (our kids go to the same school) and told them everything shown them all the evidence the well being coordinator rang the social services department I don't think they even come out just spoke to her on the phone

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That is crazy! I had the school call me one day to ask why my dad has bruises on her shins. She gets them from playing and climbing a lot. Ffs.

Original poster
Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 09:42

Oh yeah it's so wrong they've put me on child protection because of the things she's said with no proof but I've shown them proof and they aren't doing anything about it

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Soberfutures · 07/02/2025 09:53

Ru ok? I recognise your name and u seem to have a lot going on???? Kids dad not bringing them home? Asking for dna tests? Boyfriends ex pregnant and asking u to keep it a secret??? Not trying to t hunt but your name seemed very familiar. Do u need real life support maybe?

curious79 · 07/02/2025 10:27

Chanjh25 · 07/02/2025 00:26

I have kept far from her as I possibly can, my brothers telling me no comment so it will be taken to court and I can present my evidence then? I logged all of this last year with them so I don't get how they didn't see any of that I actually lost my shit in the phone when they rang me asking me to go in like is she actually being serious

Show quote history

Your brother is a nob end giving you bad advice. Losing your shit probably hasn't done much for you either.

  1. you MUST have a solicitor, however innocent you are
  2. take some of the evidence with you - a snap shot, most select items
  3. don't lost your shit
FOJN · 07/02/2025 10:37

If its a voluntary interview you can change the date of it. Tell them you are trying to get legal representation.
Do not contact your sister.
Do not make any comment to the police about the situation outside of the interview.
You must take a Solicitor with you.
The usual advice for a voluntary interview is to give no comment answers to questions and then have your solicitor read a prepared statement but this will depend on your situation.

TonTonMacoute · 07/02/2025 10:37

Your brother is talking absolute rubbish! For a start, just because you have been asked for an interview there is absolutely no reason why this absolute mess would end up in court. This doesn't happen on the wild accusations of a messed up woman. They do have a duty to follow up on reports of crimes made by people though.

Talk to the police, with the duty solicitor, and out over your side of the story.

YourHappyJadeEagle · 07/02/2025 10:59

Talk to the solicitor. Tell them everything, let the police see all the messages.
Everything you have done is to try to protect your sister and the children. The children are your primary concern. Can you prove who’ve you’ve reported to? If you can show that, say the children need safeguarding.
It’s just possible the police rule out her claim of harassment to get the evidence against her?
I think by being honest this might be the catalyst to get help for the children. Good luck.