To not get up with husbands 5am alarm?

[40andtryingtoimprove]

My husband has a new job meaning a 5am alarm , we used to have a 6.30am alarm. I am a light sleeper so wake with the 5am alarm, probably fall back to sleep about 5.30am once he leaves, maybe a little after as I can’t settle, then my alarm wakes me at 6.30am for work. I feel awful everyday now, like I’m unwell!

i tried getting up with the 5am alarm on Monday and felt much better, but strangely exhausted by about 9am but then picked up again. But today I just couldn’t do it, so stayed in the nice warm bed, fell back to sleep then got jolted by my alarm and have felt unwell most of the day.

we go to bed at 10pm as have teenage dc so can’t go any earlier.

i just don’t know what to do for the best, I’m really struggling with tiredness. Im
a rubbish sleeper so it takes me a while to drop off each night plus I wake for the toilet at least once, where as husband sleeps a solid at 10pm - 5am.

I am similar to you OP. Always have been an insomniac and it's horrible. I can wear wax ear plugs it took me a while and you have to warm them up in your hands but has been complete game changer. I also practice yoga nidra which basically is deep relaxation. If I can't sleep I do this instead and it's as good as sleep.
Also if you can when you're perimenopausal (which you might be?) that really helped my sleep.
DH gets up it's about 5:45. He leaves all of his clothes downstairs and is as quiet as he can be.
Good luck insomnia is a fucker.

Earplugs. My DH gets up at 4.30am and has done for years so I've become addicted to earplugs.

Separate bedrooms are the only answer. We haven't slept together in over 10 years. We became so less irritable with each other, and our sex life improved hugely as a result.

I’ve read through your post on the thread and I sympathise !
If that happens to me I feel really unwell .
Yesterday for instance I knew I needed to be up at a reasonable time to get things done before heading out ( needed to be somewhere an hours drive away at a specific time ) I woke at 5 and couldn’t drop off till after 6 and then had to be up at just after 7 ..felt awful .
I see you don’t have a spare bedroom or another suitable room to sleep in and earplugs are difficult ( me too , I find them difficult to wear )
So the only reasonable alternative is rescheduling your sleep hours , which will be difficult at first .
I see your family are still relatively young teens / pre teen so I hope they can respect the quiet from 9pm rule ?
As for night waking for a wee , I do that too but have started taking Jude supplement now and will see how I do with that .
i think I already feel like I have a calmer bladder and I still have a small camomile tea at about 9pm

Or just a new mattress that doesn't transmit movement so much? We bought one some months ago and I can't feel him moving about at all now, unless he virtually bounces on the bed. We had a firmish foam mattress for a while and that was perfect, I couldn't feel a single movement - only got rid of it because I got so hot during menopause.

I’m similar age, with a young adult child and a 4yr old. My husband gets up earlier than me for the gym and as he’s overweight I need to support this but it leaves me wiped tired. Some things that help me.

I play sleepy monkey playlist on Spotify every night in my room (youngest moved into his own room 2yrs ago but I kept using it). Our brains are programmed to like nursery rhythms at a pretty primitive level and because it’s a constant noise I find if I stir due to eldest going to the loo or neighbours car starting etc my head thinks it my head hears that familiar sound and I don’t wake as fully (and therefore fall back asleep quicker and more easily)

My husband and I have separate quilts (a double each) on our king size bed. I used to feel him move in the bed lots and although I still do it’s far less because I think half the previous movements were the quilt being moved around.

Gel earplugs (like those used for swimming) are much more tolerable than regular ones as you mould the gel around the outer ear rather than inside the ear.

Hubby (he’s a wonderful man!) sleeps on our fairly small and uncomfortable sofa once a week (every Friday - looking forward to tonight!) so that I get one good night of sleep each week.

Try these and I wish you luck! The combination for me has been day to day life changing.

edited to add:

Also - go for the alarm on watch anyway! Yes sometimes the vibration wakes me but other days his arm is kinda outside edge/hanging off the bed and it doesn’t wake me at all. You won’t find perfect sleep in people like us but just a couple of days being better makes all the difference.

Make him get a vibrating watch alarm

Thank you so many lovely helpful replies 🥰

I ended up accidentally falling asleep after work today I was so tired so I’m now wide awake tonight!!

I feel your pain, I’m live through the same and don’t have any spare rooms so just have to deal with it, I’ve had points where I’ve thought of separating over it but largely I just cope with it. I seem to struggle more in the winter months, through the summer I seem to naturally have more energy and cope on less sleep.

My husband has decided to wake up at around 5.30am. I'm not up till 7am.

He prepares all his bits, clothes etc the night before and takes them downstairs.
He has a smart watch he uses as an alarm.
All he does in the morning is quietly get up and leave the room.
He used to get dressed in the room but that woke me up.
Would him getting up quietly and leaving without making a sound, still wake you?

I would sleep separately.

I wake so easily. I was doing ok Monday and Tuesday this week but this morning I was so tired I fell back to sleep after the alarm and then an hour later mine went off and I’ve felt like I have a hangover all day, work has been a right off today

We can’t sleep separate there is no where to go apart from a small uncomfortable sofa

Maybe it's time to invest in something comfortable for another room. Take it in turns.

My husband has a 4am alarm, he hits snooze twice and gets up at 4:20. We sleep in separate rooms from Sunday night to Thursday night and sleep in same room when he doesn't have work the next day. He moves around in his seep and gets up to pee at night or just gets up early cause its use to that so we have seperate beds in the shared bedroom. Im not a morning person so he never bothers me in my bed but I will go in his if I feel like it. I sleep great. It took soe years to finally just sleep apart and have seperate beds too but the lack of sleep and disturbed sleep was making me soo resentful and ill. Now its great we both sleep and are happier.

buy a comfy pull out sofa. Do something so you can sleep. Lay a mattress on the living room floor and lean it up against the wall dureing the day out of the way. Go sleep in a closet. make a cozy closet nook. If I was getting woke up like that and there was nowhere to go Id be down in the cellar in a tent and sleeping cot. I Neeeeeeeeed my sleep undisturbed or Im miserable!! I put my husband out on the porch in a tent one summer LOL it was great . The kids joined him haha and I had the house to myself. Heavenly.