To not get up with husbands 5am alarm?

[40andtryingtoimprove]

My husband has a new job meaning a 5am alarm , we used to have a 6.30am alarm. I am a light sleeper so wake with the 5am alarm, probably fall back to sleep about 5.30am once he leaves, maybe a little after as I can’t settle, then my alarm wakes me at 6.30am for work. I feel awful everyday now, like I’m unwell!

i tried getting up with the 5am alarm on Monday and felt much better, but strangely exhausted by about 9am but then picked up again. But today I just couldn’t do it, so stayed in the nice warm bed, fell back to sleep then got jolted by my alarm and have felt unwell most of the day.

we go to bed at 10pm as have teenage dc so can’t go any earlier.

i just don’t know what to do for the best, I’m really struggling with tiredness. Im
a rubbish sleeper so it takes me a while to drop off each night plus I wake for the toilet at least once, where as husband sleeps a solid at 10pm - 5am.

My husband use his smart watch as alarm, and that made a huge difference. It vibrates but it's much gentler than a phone, enough to wake him since it's on his wrist, but I can barely hear it when I'm awake.
He has a back up alarm on his phone just in case but never needs it.

We sleep in separate rooms. We disturb each other too much and my husband has to be up a lot earlier than me.

It works for us - we're very happy and well rested!

The wax earplugs are brilliant but nothing can improve being woken up by someone else rolling over etc.

Can he sleep somewhere else if you have the space? I kick my DH out to the spare room on the nights he has a 5.30 alarm.

Your body is going back into its 90 min cycles, that's why you feel jet lagged. So it's either.seperate rooms or you get up with him if you can't wear earplugs. It sucks though.

Why can't.you do yoga if you get up with him?

I have the same issue OP. husband sleeps in the spare room on the nights with an early start. Not ideal and he still wakes us up as he flounces around the house but not disturbed as much 😔

Vibrating alarm for Dh. I’d hate to be woken at 5.

My husband's alarm goes off at 5.30am and mine goes off at 7.30am.

It's my favourite part of the day, as I get to move over onto his warm patch and starfish the fuck out of the bed!

Could you force yourself to get up and do a wee? That way you might eventually get used to falling back to sleep.

Perhaps your body just needs to adjust.

Happy Ears earplugs are the only ones that i've found actually work

You're feeling ill because you've gone back to sleep and are being awoken right in the middle of the deepest part of your sleep stage - it's also why you're waking up easily, as the 5am alarm is coinciding with your lightest stage.

One way to deal with it is to accept that your day has shifted one full cycle earlier - at the moment, it's tiring and you can't sleep earlier, but as you get used to it, you're more likely to be able to go to sleep sooner, especially as you know full well that your kids are old enough to be perfectly safe downstairs; you can get ready for bed without waiting for them to go up first, rather than be fully alert until they've gone up and are silent.

I found that accepting DP getting up was far less tiring and actually, despite being a chronic insomniac who sleeps like the Dead when I finally do sleep, going to bed earlier and just relaxing/listening to a podcast, putting some moisturiser on and generally just being in a quiet, dark room was more restorative than staying up and stressing about his alarm and movements. And although my total sleep time is still pretty poor, I'm definitely getting more sleep because it's managed to shift my actually going to sleep time 90 minutes earlier - unintentionally dozing off when I got in from work only happened a handful of times before I started to adjust.

The alternative was sleeping separately, which I might have done had I any faith in my ability to wake up without him providing coffee.

Yes, it's just getting up early.
Where I come from, it was perfectly normal.
5 am doesn't bother me, 3.30 am does, but that's not often anymore.
😊

You would probably feel better if you had 1.5hrs sleep after, which is a full sleep cycle I think? Just check that on Google. So if you fall back to sleep at 5:30am can you set your alarm for 7? Try it.

This!

Have you tried white noise for falling asleep and staying asleep when your husband moves around etc

I'm a really light sleeper - as in, DH could cough in his sleep and I'll be suddenly wide awake. My DH bought me this for Xmas and it's changed my life. I wasn't sure about wearing ear plugs either but I got used to them after a few weeks. The band itself is really comfy and I usually play classical music or rain sounds or sometimes just white noise on it (connects to phone via bluetooth). It's currently on sale so worth a shot, it's changed my life honestly. https://www.amazon.co.uk/WU-MINGLU-Bluetooth-Headphones-Headbands-Adjustable/dp/B07PMRG7HG/ref=asc_df_B07PMRG7HG?mcid=1875dfc523f835a6abcfece953a07a8b&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697342549346&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4247280857934873793&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045630&hvtargid=pla-682353638128&gad_source=1&th=1

I have super early mornings sometimes - I wear a watch with an alarm vibrate and I leave my stuff in the spare room or bathroom.
so I get up and straight out of bed and out of the room so as not to disturb DP…

Similar here plus snoring so earplugs and separate rooms for us

My husband uses his silent vibrating Alarm on his smart watch. He makes sure he gets ready in a different room. He gets all his stuff out ready the night before

If no other suggestions work why not do that?
Get up early and perhaps prep dinner. So when you get home at 4:30 you have a Power Nap. Think of it like a Spanish siesta. So you get an extra dose of sleep.

You might feel better getting up at 5am when it gets lighter in the mornings, get stuff done in the morning before work rather than in the evenings then go to bed at 9pm even if it's just to read or relax and sleep by 10pm. 10-5 is 7h and that's enough sleep for an adult, you might just need to give your body time to get used to it.

And then get up at 6 and put the already prepped dinner in the oven...

Posted too early!

It may be worth taking a magnesium tablet before bed, I find that it puts me in a deeper sleep so you may be less likely to wake up.

If you are being woken at 5am and it takes you half an hour to get back to sleep, your alarm is waking you mid sleep cycle (which are about 1 and half hours normally). Hence you feel awful.

Best thing is a spare room if you have one, single or separate beds, ear plugs and asking your husband to get dressed in another room. The watch with a buzz alarm is a good idea.

The only earplugs I can wear are these. They are really small so fit women better and very soft. Don't push them in too far so they hurt.

amzn.eu/d/gvDYM22

Sympathies OP! I have the same problem with my DP. I wear headphones at night and listen to my podcasts as earplugs wouldn't wake me up for my own alarm and if DP is already away to work there's no one there to make sure I'm awake when I'm supposed to be. My alarm plays through my headphones so always wakes me

I wake frequently through the night and often my last wake is only an hour or so before his alarm goes off and I get (unnecessarily) crabbit and jealous about him having slept all the way through and me running on exhaustion for the entire day. Till bedtime and it happens all over again