If you’re vegetarian but DH isn’t, do you cook him meat?

[pinkhollydolly]

I’ve been vege since I was a child. DH isn’t and there is nothing I can do or say to persuade him that dinner doesn’t need meet.
I will put chicken kievs, and the like in the oven, and even pan fry a steak, but anything more that I just don’t like labouring over a hot stove and my hair smelling of meat when I don’t like it. So it’s basically ready made meals, anything I can put in the oven and he doesn’t like it (married 10 years, DC won’t eat meat, and DH works and I don’t so by agreement I do all the cooking).

YABU- if you’ve both agreed that you’ll do the cooking, cook him what he wants.

YANBU - you shouldn’t have to cook things you don’t like the taste or smell of, I wouldn’t.

Yup.

I'm vegan and luckily so is my DH. But in the past I've had relationships with meat eaters and I would not cook meat for them EVER, not even crack an egg or put a chicken nugget in the oven (so you are doing more than I would by cooking meaty ready made oven things etc). He should respect your choice, if he's that bothered he can cook himself meat.

Same.

Absolutely not. He's an exH now but he happily ate veggie meals at home but would have cooked meat for sandwiches. I've been veggie for over 30 years and meat repulses me. I'm happily single but I think if I ever dated again then I'd have to date another veggie.

I'm veggie and dh isn't. He works mon-fri and has weekends off so he will sometimes do a sunday roast or a fry up for himself at weekends if he really wants meat. Most weeknights I just cook something like pasta or veggie chilli.

However, I do have do deal with packets of smelly ham to make my child a lunchbox as he won't eat cheese sandwiches. The smell when you open a packet of ham 🤢

YANBU. I’m a meat eater and I think it’s totally reasonable what you are doing. If he wants something specific he can cook it himself or take an hour on the weekend to batch cook something you just have to heat through. Or buy precooked meat to chuck into a dish.

My sister is vegan and her husband isn’t and friend vegetarian and her husband isn’t and neither of them object to them cooking meat or fish but don’t cook it for them. Vegetarian will put stuff in the oven as you say but no more.

My DDs are both veggie, for ethical reasons, I'm not but I only cook veggie meals at home, but eat meat when I'm out.

I think your DH should respect your position that you don't want to cook meat if it's an eithical issue for you. If you just don't like the taste of meat yourself, then I think it would be reasonable to cook him some meat on the side - eg chicken/beef strips to add to a veggie meal.

I am veggie but son 21 is not, I do cook meat for him every day, I have my opinions and he has his, I don’t want to force my opinions on him, some might say that I should mind but I don’t,end of.

But the OP is already cooking meat for her DH, just not the type / as often as he wants.

OP, I'd say your approach is fair. I understand why you do all the cooking, but there is nothing stopping DH cooking a Saturday or Sunday evening meal and making it exactly like he wants.

I'm vegetarian, dh and the dc are not. I buy and cook meat for them. Doesn't bother me.

I think you should just cook a family meal. If it’s good enough for you and your children then it’s good enough for DH. If he chooses not to eat it then he can cook himself something else.

perhaps he can batch cook some chicken cubes / steak cubes / sausages / etc and portion and freeze to have as a ‘side’ with the family meal. )that he is responsible for initial cooking, portioning, unfreezing, etc). And/or have bacon / ham slices in the fridge for a side to add. You shouldn’t be responsible for cooking him something different to the family meal.

Was veggie since a child when I met DH and never cooked meat for him but he was happy to eat it when out, never objected to me cooking veggie. About a year later noticed he started leaving meat on the side of plate at family’s houses and wasn’t ordering meat when out. Said he had gone totally off it. We never discussed it and I honestly didn’t mind him having it. He went fully veggie about 18 mths after we lived together and now is happier eating vegan. Eats very little dairy or eggs, usually when others are catering or when out. At home now I tend to cook 90% vegan meals. DS is veggie and does really like cheese.

I dislike the smell and cooking it but to be honest would be more worried about poisoning someone as I will not taste it and have not cooked a lot with meat so wouldn’t trust myself. I’ll put things in the oven if we’ve guests and they want it. And been known to fry mince or boil chicken when my dog was ill.

I wouldn’t cook it on a daily basis.

It's so refreshing to see a slightly less rigid view from a vegetarian. Love this.

Totally understand that you do the family cooking as you don't work- all fair enough. But if your provide home cooked meals for the whole family but one adult wants (not needs, it would be different if it was an allergy etc) something specific and different I'd say they need to be prepared to cook that for themselves. On top of that you (presumably) have an ethical reason for not wanting to eat meat so it is unreasonable to expect you to handle it. I know some vegetarians will, but that's their personal decision not something that should be expected of them.

My DH was not veggie when our DC were small (I was and we agreed that the DC would be) but would not have expected me to cook meat for him.

I've been veggie since a child too. DH and 2 DC are not. I do oven things like you and am an expert of cooking fresh meat without touching it. 😅

I get diced chicken and tip into the wok for curry and stir fries. Chicken breasts tipped into a big bowl with a tablespoon of olive oil, lemon juice and seasoning, then tipped into an oven tray.

Implements straight in the dishwasher without touching the worktop, packaging in the bagged general waste. I'm quite squeamish about it.

Same here. I'm vegetarian, that's my choice. I buy and cook meat for DH, DC and grandchildren.

It bothers me not, I cook food that people will eat and enjoy I don't impose my choice on them.

It seems absolutely daft for you to be responsible for the cooking when you're not prepared to cook to suit the tastes of everyone else in the family.

Can you not swap with DH for a different responsibility? Presumably he's happy to cook both veggie and meat meals?

I'm veggie (since I was 8) and husband isn't. He does all the cooking, and is very happy to eat vegetarian food at home.

He has bacon on weekend mornings, and also tuna wraps for his lunch (both of which he prepares). Oh, and Christmas day when we have the whole family round (including my ex-inlaws who I still get on very well with) is two kids of meat along with a veggie pie for me (which everyone always wants some of!).

Even if I wanted to cook meat (which I don't, I find raw meat repulsive) I literally wouldn't know how to!

When my children were growing up, they were veggie when they were weaning, and until they were old enough to decide for themselves. They both decided to eat meat, which is fine by me. Meals at home were vegetarian, but I didn't mind buying a pepperoni pizza and bunging it in the oven, or buying ham for sandwiches (which they made themselves once they were secondary school age).

They got plenty of meat at their Dads house every other weekend, or out of the house, and didn't feel deprived in any way (mid twenties now). My daughter has moved to more veggie things recently like tofu and Quorn, as she doesn't like preparing raw meat, but is happy to eat the finished meal if someone else has prepared it!

I am single now but when I wasn't no I don't cook or buy meat

Yes I do. I've been vegetarian for about 30 years, we've been together 19 and have two children who also eat meat.
I struggle to touch it, so have to use tongs/fork etc to hold it whilst I cut it up, but I have no problem cooking it.
The hardest thing is not being able to taste test, so I'm relying on how it looks/smells!

It is unrealistic to expect a vegetarian to cook meat if they don't want or aren't used to it.

They wouldn't be able to taste for seasoning, for example or check if something was properly cooked.

If the DH wants meat that isn't a ready meal he can jolly well cook it himself.

I've been vegetarian for nearly 25 years. Husband isn't. I choose this diet purely as I think it's morally abhorrent to eat the flesh of a living creature. As such, I would never cook meat for him. I do most of the cooking so he either eats my vegetarian offering, or he's welcome to cook for himself. He generally has no problem with this, and not something we ever argue about.

Same
we never cook meat in the house. We share the cooking. DH never mentions it!
if we eat out, sometimes he’ll have meat, more often not. He says he doesn’t miss it.

I am a meat eater and I think your approach is completely fine. the line gets blurred I think when you're a SAHM and the deal is that you do all the chores etc and he does all the work that brings in money, but I think the compromise you're already offering is perfectly fine.

Similarly, DH was veggie for a few years. I wasn't cooking him completely separate meals. the compromise was that I tried to make meat meal that were easily adapted for av eggie version and when I really really just wanted a meat stew, I got him a ready meal or something from the freezer. I felt fine about that.

I've been vegetarian for 32 years. That's my personal choice, I prefer not to eat meat.
I cook all the food in the house so I cook my husband meat ( maybe twice a week normally, but more now he's on chemotherapy as he has a huge protein requirement otherwise not fillable without)and have always given my children meat. My personal belief is it's good for small children to have a little bit of meat a week to meet their nutritional requirements, to give them more easily attainable haem iron and protein etc ( especially considering they often are picky and only eat small quantities.) not eating meat is my personal choice, they have their own choices, I'm cooking it, not eating it for them