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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Said husband.. said friend..

146 replies

KettleOnCredit · 04/02/2025 01:00

I feel levels of disgust each time I read this. Simply writing 'my friend/ husband' would leave the reader in no confusion..

My cat has now become 'the aforementioned feline'

It smacks of people who achieved at best a grade C at GCSE English, now attempting to come across as literate and well read.

OP posts:
CheekyHobson · 04/02/2025 07:42

PhyllisWallet · 04/02/2025 07:40

Speaking AS a professional editor Shirley? 😃

Show quote history

Yes, one who (generally) CBA to re-read things I write on forums 😆

CarpeVitam · 04/02/2025 07:42

Garlicworth · 04/02/2025 02:40

It is acknowledged that the original poster, henceforth referred to as OP, objects to the use of 'said' in reference to a character already defined within the context of an anecdote being related. We concur with OP inasmuch as 'said', when used as described, represents an informal shortening of 'the aforesaid'. It is our opinion that such informal shortening demeans language and, importantly, meaning. Fully informal alternatives are, as illustrated by OP, readily available and would in most cases be more apposite to the written conversational style of a forum post.

Ruled in favour of the aforesaid OP on the matter here under consideration. This ruling does not suggest, imply or guarantee accord with the same OP on any other matter she may henceforth wish to set before us.

😁

LillyPJ · 04/02/2025 07:43

KettleOnCredit · 04/02/2025 02:00

It's annoying and not needed either.
I do love how the poster who remarked on my lack of a full stop had to edit their own short post.
AIBU??
Honestly it's really annoys me EVERY time I read this.. 'said daughter, said husband, said dog..'
I can't be the only one. This isn't Netmums.. maybe standards have dropped..

I think you may well be the only one actually.

TeenLifeMum · 04/02/2025 07:46

Literacy levels are massively varied. I can get upset about people trying to describe situations differently to how I would. There is a pattern of those with lower literacy trying to use long words when there’s no real need but why would you put them down? Does it make you feel superior?

we’re all different but everyone has feelings and you’re deliberately trying to be hurtful. Says a lot about your character.

Devon24 · 04/02/2025 07:46

Op what has made you so unhappy in life that you wish to peck over other people’s expression and communication like this? I really don’t care how pp express themselves, I am usually interested in the content of their post.

HangryLikeTheHulk · 04/02/2025 07:46

I like this OP. Pedantry brightens my day.

The one which boils my piss is “text” as a past participle.

“My DH text me this morning to tell me he’s got the dog pregnant.”

It’s texted you malignant queef.

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 04/02/2025 07:48

KettleOnCredit · 04/02/2025 07:38

Clearly this touched a nerve.
I'm sorry to all the posters who thought they sounded intelligent when referring to everything as 'said.'

They don't 'think they are intelligent' at all. That's an arrogant view.
As I pointed out earlier, it is a regular way of speaking/writing.
I think you've painted yourself into a corner her; throwing out such comments isn't an escape route!

Shubbypubby · 04/02/2025 07:50

It's a legitimate use of the word though, I don't know why you find it so offensive?

And you have another thread entitled "Social Services"and your level of English on that thread is abysmal, frankly.

CheekyHobson · 04/02/2025 07:55

HangryLikeTheHulk · 04/02/2025 07:46

I like this OP. Pedantry brightens my day.

The one which boils my piss is “text” as a past participle.

“My DH text me this morning to tell me he’s got the dog pregnant.”

It’s texted you malignant queef.

It’s texted you malignant queef.

Now that’s getting your priorities right 🤣

FindusMakesPancakes · 04/02/2025 07:55

This one has never bothered me. Far more irritating are the posters who open their replies with 'I put it to you', as if they are in a TV court drama and that they are coming in with a killer argument.

That and the ones who state 'Astronaut here' or whatever their perceived qualification is to add weight to their reply and people believe them. Its a forum. People lie.

fedup1212 · 04/02/2025 07:56

My ex does this. Tries to sound a lot more intelligent than he actually is.

myotherusernamesarebetter · 04/02/2025 08:00

KettleOnCredit · 04/02/2025 01:00

I feel levels of disgust each time I read this. Simply writing 'my friend/ husband' would leave the reader in no confusion..

My cat has now become 'the aforementioned feline'

It smacks of people who achieved at best a grade C at GCSE English, now attempting to come across as literate and well read.

One full stop at the end of a sentence dear, not two.

HideousKinky · 04/02/2025 08:10

No grammar misdemeanours so far mentioned are as vexing as the repeated use of "yourself" in the recent series of The Traitors.

BilboBlaggin · 04/02/2025 08:10

If you have such exacting standards, and look down your nose at those achieving a C or less at GCSE, then an informal internet forum such as MN is probably not the place to hang out.

Elfie111 · 04/02/2025 08:10

TaggieO · 04/02/2025 06:43

If you use ‘and’ then ‘either’ at the end of your sentence is redundant.

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You absolute legend 😂😂😂♥️♥️♥️

Happysack · 04/02/2025 08:14

TaggieO · 04/02/2025 06:44

This should be ‘We can all sleep easy now, Calico’ - you’ve missed a comma.

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I would suggest a semi colon rather than a full stop between the sentences, too.

That’s a fucking relief; we can all sleep easy now, Calico!

Stifledlife · 04/02/2025 08:16

Why such belligerence?

Live and let live...

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 04/02/2025 08:19

I know what you mean op. It seems like someone trying to inject a bit of courtroom gravitas into a humdrum domestic story. It doesn't bother me greatly, but I do smile when I notice it.

Waitingfordoggo · 04/02/2025 08:20

A friend and I use this with each other. I only use it with her- not sure why really; I think we find it amusing. I'm certainly not trying to sound intelligent. I'm not particularly intelligent. I got a B in English GCSE, a C for A-Level English and a 2:1 in my degree (also English).

Scentsitive · 04/02/2025 08:22

It's perfectly fine IMO but should be used very sparingly. If they're trying to use it every two minutes because they think it's clever that would be quite annoying.

HangryLikeTheHulk · 04/02/2025 08:24

The police are very good at this embellished language.

“The gentleman proceeded in a westerly direction along said high street towards you, whereupon he unavailed himself of his trousers and exposed his genital area to yourself and said group of nuns innocently enjoying a shopping excursion, is that correct ?”

BeaAndBen · 04/02/2025 08:27

Of all the written quirks of style and phrasing I’ve come across on Mumsnet, that one doesn’t bother me. However, I get that it grinds your gears, and having a bit of a rant on AIBU about this stuff is part of the fun.

I do think it’s a bit off to imply people are thick for using it. It’s not actually wrong, just a bit pompous. Pomposity can be fun to dabble with sometimes.

‘Hence why’, on the other hand, deserves 50 lines and a lunchtime detention.

Autumn38 · 04/02/2025 08:28

KettleOnCredit · 04/02/2025 02:38

This really upset you. I'm sorry! There's nothing wrong with a grade C and you probably did very well to get it x

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Do people really think about their GCSEs past the age of 17? Surely all your subsequent qualifications are more relevant than some basic exams you sat when you were a child??

It’s sweet really that you are still thinking about them…

Kindafreakingouthere · 04/02/2025 08:28

MN is full of these types of threads, not sure why OP is getting such a hard time 🤷🏼‍♀️
I must admit, it hadn't bothered me before but it will now 😂
One that bugs the life out of me is people randomly saying 'To which' or even worse 'Too which' at the start of a sentence? My grammar isn't perfect but this one baffles me...I can't think of an example now but I see it often and it's definitely not being used in the right context.
Also when people refer to themselves as 'myself' eg 'contact myself on 079......'

namechangeGOT · 04/02/2025 08:36

Your post has made me belly laugh OP. I thought I was the only person who could get this enraged about none issues! But you have proved that there are others like me.