When I was a kid,my narcissistic mother dumped me off onto my darling grandad-he was the first man I've ever loved and we have a bond that even death cannot break
She made sure she claimed the child benefit and made sure I was around at hers for the bare minimum time possible just so she could say she was the best mother in the world to anyone who knew her but without having to do the grunt work of parenting me
It solved two problems-i wasn't there to annoy her by being around and having me be his carer meant she didn't have to do anything for him-and she didn't lift a finger-i did it all
One say,when I was about 14,he fell asleep and woke up not having a clue who I was,who he was and where he was
Long story short,he had dementia and ended up in a home
Losing him 18 months later was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with-made worse by my mother soaking up at the sympathy and praise about how much she'd done for him
Years later,I met a lady who ran the local single parent group
She was amazing-kind,strong,never judged and was always there,she loved my dc like her own-she was the mum I wished I had
She died of bastard cancer-i miss her so much
I met dp and then his parents-my darling fil understood me in a way dp and his amazing mum never will
He wasn't an angel but he was a good man-we adored each other
Again bastard cancer took him away from us and it's left a gaping hole in my life
I find it so hard that I'll never hear their voices again and I'd give up everything to have one last chat or a hug from all 3 of them