To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

[Youngishh]

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

My sister collapsed and died in front of me, there will forever be a before that moment and an after. Sadly the shock was too much for my elderly father and he died 2 weeks later. We hadn't even had my sisters funeral. But we got through it, but the hardest time I have ever had. Nothing will be as awful. Everyone has had trauma and I try to be kind. Big hugs to all.

The death of my child, and having to go home and break the news to her siblings that she didn't make it.

Living life without a mother. She died when I was 14 months old. It's not a direct gut wrench grief like other PPs have suffered but it has coloured and affected my whole life and life choices.

My best friend dying suddenly and unexpectedly when she was 7.

My dad’s sudden death of a heart attack aged 63. My husband having a mental health crisis and being sectioned whilst I was pregnant with our second baby.

I remember going through a pretty horrendous time and asking myself: "how do other people cope?" Then I came across a book by Martin Gilbert entitled 'The Boys.' It's the true story of the boys and girls who survived the Holocaust and were brought to England to live after the war. It's extremely inspiring because it's a series of interviews with the now adult survivors and none of them really talk about the horrors they experienced in the concentration camps, they concentrate on what they've achieved in their adult lives as this they saw as their 'revenge' against Nazi Germany. It really changed by perspective on the situation I was dealing with.

No words 🌺 💙

I am so sorry to all of you who have suffered such terrible losses. 💐

Mine is severe PND after dd1's birth. Later diagnosed with PTSD as well. Consider myself very lucky to still be alive but it pales into insignificance against so many of these traumas.

Gosh my heart goes out to all the pp. Such heartbreaking stories.

My divorce was pretty awful, and took years to recover from, even though I knew we weren't suited. It's the grief of what could have been.

I slipped three discs in my neck resulting in 18 months of pain and partial arm paralysis. The op to repair them was so bad, I was awake through out. I've dreaded going back to using a commode and laying on a bed all day in my 30s. It's one of my great fears.

Just a hug 🥰 💙

Some of these are so tough.

You must be beyond bereft.

This time last year I fell over my own feet broke my shoulder, tore ligaments in my elbow and wrist, destroyed the cartilige in my thumb, and permanently disabled myself.

Before falling I never really thought about broken shoulders, just thought it'd be like other broken bones, which I've had. How wrong was I.

The pain was off the scale for months. Morphine barely touched it. I had to sleep sitting up for 4 months. My arm was completely immobilised for 2 months and partially for another one. Then I've had intensive physiotherapy to try and teach the muscles how to work again. I still have pain everyday and have so far only gained 50% use back.

And they haven't even done the surgeries to repair the ligaments yet.

I am so sorry xxx

My 13 year old son died 9 months ago after a short illness with cancer Seeing my strong, independent boy deteriorate in his last weeks is the hardest thing I have ever been through. He slipped away peacefully with me and his dad either side of him on a hospital bed in my living room. He is so loved and missed.

Having a severe nervous breakdown aged 19 was terrifying. Being diagnosed with cancer when the children were toddlers was just awful. These were my two worst periods in life.

Divorce

recurrent miscarriages

my 2nd husband being diagnosed with a rare appendix cancer ( luckily he is okay now )

my dad dying of heart attack when I was 20

going through a termination .

Three years ago tonight.

My toddler being unexpectedly diagnosed with a brain tumour that morning, blue lighting to a specialist hospital for lifesaving huge (and risky) surgery being planned for the next morning.

Knowing that if she made it through the surgery there was a 50-50 chance that it was a type which was basically terminal on diagnosis.

Spending that night on the ward hugging her, trying not to cry, wondering if it was my last night with her and praying that if it was the terminal variety that she'd die in the surgery so she'd never have to face the fear or pain of a battle she couldn't win. Then in the morning, repeatedly telling her I lived her and trying to get her to say it back on film so I'd have it in case she died or lost the ability to speak (common side effects of that particular surgery)

The surgery was (mostly) a success. She asked for a drink when she woke, and for mummy.
It was the 'good' type of the tumour not the bad one, she didn't even need chemo.

It came with some life changing effects and the likelihood of more surgery to come in the next few years, but the future looks bright, albeit with more hospital appointments than we'd anticipated.

That night and the ones that followed the were darker then I'd ever thought possible though.

My mum had a brain haemorrhage when I was 11. I didn't know if she was going to survive and she was in hospital for a long time but thankfully she made a full recovery. It was an incredibly traumatic time and my parents were in the process of getting divorced. One day she was fine, the next day she was in hospital fighting for her life. 30 years later and it's still something I can't talk about. She was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and survived that but I often think how unfair life is sometimes.

I struggled with an eating disorder and depression as a teenager and attempted suicide.

Lost a pregnancy in my second trimester - that one I really struggled with.

DH had a mental breakdown and was hospitalised for 7 weeks. We were living overseas and I had a 12 month old. I didn't know if he was going to survive. He lost his mind for 3 months and it was terrifying. He could only say the same thing over and over again, like a cassette tape on a loop.

I can't think of anything worse than losing a child and my heart goes out to anyone that has experienced that because I cannot fathom how awful that must be. Sending love to all those who have suffered.

Being in a relationship with a man who made me feel at rock bottom but I’ve came out of it strong. I stand for nothing now.

Can I ask how your son is now?

Sounds trite now but my ex calling off our wedding two weeks before the big day. Thought I would never get over it.

Caring for my beautiful Nan when the breast cancer spread to her spine&brain, within weeks she didn't know who anyone was, didn't know where she was and was violent. At the start she kept saying to me "my head is going, why can't I remember things" within a week I would have to show her the photos on the wall to remind her who her family were, I was the last one she forgot. I was lucky to be with her and holding her hand as she drew her last breath with our family around us. But the way she suffered was cruel and inhumane, months of agony and pain for her, I will never get over that, but I am honoured to have been able to care for her the way she did for me my entire life.

The death of my daughter from brain cancer. She was 5 years old and my absolute world. Nothing has been right since.

Even caring for someone though a slow painful death and going to rehab, quitting drugs and drinking...

Getting a rescue dog. It has been so, so, so hard.

At one time I would’ve said sitting with DM in intensive care before she died but now I think supporting DD2 with her depression/anxiety is actually more difficult because nobody has the answer and I’m worried sick all the time. It’s one of those things that changes you, even when (“when” because I can’t bear the thought that I should be saying “if”) she gets better I won’t go back to being the same as before.

💐 to everyone who has been through difficult times.

Depression followed by a complete breakdown a year ago. I made plans to end my life, wrote my will and letters saying goodbye to people. Thankfully I ended up getting support from my GP and the crisis team. But for about a month I could not concentrate for more than a couple of minutes or sleep and I barely ate anything.