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Original poster

To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

537 replies

Youngishh · 02/02/2025 20:49

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

OP posts:
gmgnts · 02/02/2025 21:37

Such heart-breaking stories. So sorry to read these. Flowers

Comedycook · 02/02/2025 21:37

Downtoyou · 02/02/2025 21:32

My 13 year old son died 9 months ago after a short illness with cancer Seeing my strong, independent boy deteriorate in his last weeks is the hardest thing I have ever been through. He slipped away peacefully with me and his dad either side of him on a hospital bed in my living room. He is so loved and missed.

I'm so sorry.

Briannaco · 02/02/2025 21:37

My dad wasnt in my life. I went to see my dad once as an adult, and he told me that he never wanted to see me again.

That's the worst thing I went through
That's deep rejection.

And it's stayed with me my whole life. I think "I'm not worth anything because my own dad didn't want me"

HangingOver · 02/02/2025 21:38

Oh and derealization. It is so awful , it makes you wish you were dead.

Plantlady3 · 02/02/2025 21:38

Sexual abuse as a child and PTSD from that

Feelingblue2219 · 02/02/2025 21:38
  1. when my dad was dying of cancer
  2. when dd was going through DV /almost looking her child
  3. my own son being violent to Me ( in a much better place now )
  4. son trying to kill himself
  5. SA as a child
  6. 2 evictions although I would say that didn't ovely bother me it was stressful but at the lower end for me.
  7. when I got a call from dd screaming down the phone that she was getting hurt by her ex and I heard the most horrible screams and her begging him to stop and the phone went dead . I thought he had killed her .
StormInaDcup99 · 02/02/2025 21:39

MyProudHare · 02/02/2025 21:00

I was widowed a decade ago - nursed him through having a brain tumour. 15 months of illness during which I lost all sight of the man I loved, as he became confused, agitated and violent. We had two toddlers (now teen/pre teen) and in the end he had to be put under a deprivation of liberty order (sort of like being sectioned, but it wasn't a mental illness). Then he died.

It has changed me forever. Even though I look like I have rebuilt my life now.

@MyProudHare I can totally empathasise. I'm so sorry

My uttey amazing husband got diagnosed with brain cancer when kids were v young...both under 5

4 years of an utter living hell. It really almost killed me....just wanted to kill myself. We were living on other side of world. After he passed awauly moved back with my kids to my family in the UK

I've never been the same and miss him still every day. It's almost 25 years ago now since he was first diagnosed

Onthefence87 · 02/02/2025 21:40

BigcatLittlecat · 02/02/2025 21:25

My sister collapsed and died in front of me, there will forever be a before that moment and an after. Sadly the shock was too much for my elderly father and he died 2 weeks later. We hadn't even had my sisters funeral. But we got through it, but the hardest time I have ever had. Nothing will be as awful. Everyone has had trauma and I try to be kind. Big hugs to all.

That's absolutely awful, what alot for you to go through all at once :(

PennyApril54 · 02/02/2025 21:40

This thread 😔 I hope everyone finds strength to cope with their sad times and I wish everyone happy times ahead. I read somewhere 'if you were in a large group and everyone threw their problems into a pile you'd see others and be scrambling trying to get your own back'. I think this seems so true. Take care of yourselves. Thinking of everyone ❤️

OOOtil2025 · 02/02/2025 21:40

SSRI · 02/02/2025 21:13

Craftymadre you are so right.

My father died by suicide when I was 17. I'm 47 now - the age he was - and it's never left me, it's never not affected everything. And never will stop affecting everything. For me, my siblings and my mother.

I’m so sorry to hear this - me too (parental suicide). I was a little older than you were. It never leaves you. It shapes you as a person and I think of them every day.

Hwi · 02/02/2025 21:41

Mum dying of sepsis and asking the hospital to culture her bloods in A&E and start her on antibiotics asap, because she knew she had sepsis, and the hospital saying 'you can't tell us what to do, and specifically, you can't choose treatment, you are fine, your CRP is less than 10'. Them sending her home only to be back in hospital the following day and dying of sepsis. Complaint to the Trust and Ombudsman finding nothing wrong with the care she received. This feeling of total helplessness, and her words 'help me, tell them I am dying' and them not listening.

HaveItAll90 · 02/02/2025 21:41

My dd diagnosed with a heart condition at 20w
Multiple ops, open heart surgeries hospital stays. There was once a time when I didn't know how to be a mum without hospital staff around me... we made it through though in the end

rosieposie5 · 02/02/2025 21:42

Being 35 years old so very single and desperately wanting to be a Mum before time runs out after wanting it all my life. Watching people talk about TTC and how hard it can be when I can't even try for a baby as I'm so single. I feel like there is a lot of support out there for women who are TTC or have experienced miscarriage. But those women who have for some reason failed to secure a relationship and so can't have a baby for that reason is so lonely, but never 'heard about' or listened to. We are always just told to use a donor but it isn't right for everyone.

Conniebygaslight · 02/02/2025 21:42

our DD in a terribly abusive relationship in a completely different culture and world to ours. She’s only 18 and is so entrenched, constantly trying to change and rescue people. We have lost her and it’s breaking our hearts.

Onthefence87 · 02/02/2025 21:42

EmeraldDreams73 · 02/02/2025 21:30

I am so sorry to all of you who have suffered such terrible losses. 💐

Mine is severe PND after dd1's birth. Later diagnosed with PTSD as well. Consider myself very lucky to still be alive but it pales into insignificance against so many of these traumas.

Your struggle was still your own valid and understandable challenge and trauma though....sending love x

Louko · 02/02/2025 21:43

Downtoyou · 02/02/2025 21:32

My 13 year old son died 9 months ago after a short illness with cancer Seeing my strong, independent boy deteriorate in his last weeks is the hardest thing I have ever been through. He slipped away peacefully with me and his dad either side of him on a hospital bed in my living room. He is so loved and missed.

I am so sorry xx

carelesswhiskerss · 02/02/2025 21:43

What I'm going through now, losing ability to walk.

carelesswhiskerss · 02/02/2025 21:44

Hwi · 02/02/2025 21:41

Mum dying of sepsis and asking the hospital to culture her bloods in A&E and start her on antibiotics asap, because she knew she had sepsis, and the hospital saying 'you can't tell us what to do, and specifically, you can't choose treatment, you are fine, your CRP is less than 10'. Them sending her home only to be back in hospital the following day and dying of sepsis. Complaint to the Trust and Ombudsman finding nothing wrong with the care she received. This feeling of total helplessness, and her words 'help me, tell them I am dying' and them not listening.

So sorry.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 02/02/2025 21:44

Giving birth to my already dead baby at 23 weeks

Horationor · 02/02/2025 21:45

The first time my (now ex) husband punched me. I didn't understand how he could do it

Or

Finding out i could never conceive

Carsarelife · 02/02/2025 21:45

My brother - suffering a very horrific and serious accident at work. Spent months in a coma. Only to survive then die of a heart attack in his sleep years later. Basically grieved him twice.
The stress of it has caused myself and our parents to fall out. We haven't spoken in 7 months. They are in their 70's. I've tried to reach out to them to no avail

Nonaynevernomore · 02/02/2025 21:45

Conniebygaslight · 02/02/2025 21:42

our DD in a terribly abusive relationship in a completely different culture and world to ours. She’s only 18 and is so entrenched, constantly trying to change and rescue people. We have lost her and it’s breaking our hearts.

You haven’t lost her, she’ll come back. She’s young and needs to grow and understand.

keep strong, keep in touch and let your door always be open.

Onthefence87 · 02/02/2025 21:45

Somuchgoo · 02/02/2025 21:34

Three years ago tonight.

My toddler being unexpectedly diagnosed with a brain tumour that morning, blue lighting to a specialist hospital for lifesaving huge (and risky) surgery being planned for the next morning.

Knowing that if she made it through the surgery there was a 50-50 chance that it was a type which was basically terminal on diagnosis.

Spending that night on the ward hugging her, trying not to cry, wondering if it was my last night with her and praying that if it was the terminal variety that she'd die in the surgery so she'd never have to face the fear or pain of a battle she couldn't win. Then in the morning, repeatedly telling her I lived her and trying to get her to say it back on film so I'd have it in case she died or lost the ability to speak (common side effects of that particular surgery)

The surgery was (mostly) a success. She asked for a drink when she woke, and for mummy.
It was the 'good' type of the tumour not the bad one, she didn't even need chemo.

It came with some life changing effects and the likelihood of more surgery to come in the next few years, but the future looks bright, albeit with more hospital appointments than we'd anticipated.

That night and the ones that followed the were darker then I'd ever thought possible though.

Goodness, what a horrific thing to go through! So so glad she is doing well now x

Curlyshabtree · 02/02/2025 21:46

Losing my first born child aged just 6 days. They would be 18 next month. The pain diminishes but never goes.

Fourtvpackagesandnothingon · 02/02/2025 21:46

Not sure…

10 years of infertility and treatments
Miscarriages and emergency ectopic, 5 minutes from death
Being knocked down by a car…twice
Being bullied at work and made redundant
Five year court case

Probably the worst..Dd, 5, ill and was having anger issues and horrendous intrusive thoughts, saying she felt like her body didn’t belong in this world and people were planning to kill her..the things she said and the fear on her face will never leave my mind