To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

[Youngishh]

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

I'm sorry for your family's loss.

I'm sorry for your family's loss.

Watching my DF die on end of life care for almost 2 weeks. He essentially starved to death. He had an inoperable bowel obstruction so was just kept as comfortable and sedated as possible. I’ll never be over it.

Oh goodness. Sending love to you. It is a cruel and awful disease. Your children must be grown up now... I hope you are all doing 'ok'. As you say, those memories are difficult to bear.

Dd being a newborn. She was born during Covid and it took 32 hours. I then almost died and had to be resuscitated and then DH was sent home 20 mins later because of Covid restrictions. So I'd been awake for 3 days in 10/10 pain, not eaten or slept, been ripped apart and then almost died and brought back and was then left alone for 12 hours with a newborn. I wasn't given any food. A nurse had a go at me when I was too weak to change her nappy. I didn't sleep again. Started hallucinating. Husband came back in and my drip had filled with blood, catheter had gone green and gungy and I was seeing things from sleep deprivation and hunger. Baby was okay though. He was allowed to stay for two hours while I slept and then sent home again. I was kept in hospital for 3 days, barely seen by any staff. Picked up a load of hospital- acquired infections then sent home (had to fight for the discharge though). I was not the same person when I returned home (and I don't mean in a cutesy "I'm a mum now" was). I was like returning from war.

Losing my dad to cancer when I was 23. He told me stuff about how much pain he was in that will stay with me forever. Then his death at home was traumatic. It was a huge responsibility that I was totally unprepared for. He died before the carers were due to start so we got no help.

To top off the worst week of our lives my parents house got raided the day before dad died because the police thought someone who rented an outhouse on their property was handling stolen goods. I never found out if it was true or not but I barely spoke to my brother for years afterwards (it was his friend) as he probably knew all about what was going on. He's been to prison and brought the police up countless times but my parents kept forgiving him and letting him still work there. He has MH issues and my dad thought he'd relapse and go off the rails completely if he didn't help him out. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect of making him think he could do whatever he wanted.

He turned up about 10 mins after the raid was over and just laughed when I told him the police had been there looking through all our stuff for 3 hours. Thankfully my dad was too out of it to know what was going on as he'd have been devastated.

A very difficult emotional situation in 2004

Living alone with agoraphobia depression and no family or friends

I'm so sorry.
My dearest friend in all the world died in May of a glioblastoma at 34. I was there when she died and had watched her slip away for 6 weeks, having fought for 4 years.

Brain tumours csn get fucked.

Someone thinks thinks my one is funny 🫤 okaaay

Xx

I’m sure that was an accident. I’ve accidentally hit the wrong one before 🥲

Having gone through emotional neglect as a child and never feeling loved finally finding love with someone who, after a period of time, spiked my drink and raped me. Felt so alone in Newcastle for a couple of years with no one to really turn to. Didn't want to be here anymore. But slowly things got better I moved away and eventually met my husband and had our children. It was touch and go for a while and I still deal with feelings or unworthiness from time to time.

these sounds really insignificant but when my cats died, it was like losing part of me. They had been through so much with me (my marriage breakdown, new house, new job, new man etc). They were the constant in my life, the two things I could rely on. The pain of losing them was like nothing I've experienced. I'll never get over one of them 'screaming' as she had a heart attack in front of me, her sister died last year and I still see her scared face as I took her to the vet.

Also my cat going missing. It's so surreal, you don't know whether to mourn, whether to look for a new cat. If you stop looking you feel guilty, if you look you feel helpless.

My marriage breakdown whilst hard, I look back and think it was the best decision I made.

Being stuck in a ME country because the abusive asshole ex wouldn't sign the form for me to leave with my daughter.

Even when walking through the airport when he eventually did, I was worried I'd get arrested if he changed his mind.

One of the reasons I'll never visit any of those shithole countries ever again.

Losing my Mum to cancer. She was my world and seeing her suffer was unbearable.

I think, for me, the very worst was being with my sister after she got diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. It was already in her spine, and seeing that X-ray with all the tumors rocked me to the core. Then, she ended up in the hospital the day after her first chemo treatment. She kept going downhill, and then I would enter the floor where she was, and she would be screaming for me, screaming how bad it hurt, ripping off her nightie over and over. Then having to make hospice arrangements, all the while dealing with her neighbors, that did some of the most horrible/hateful stuff to me and my sister's memory. A real friend of my sister's sent me back to my sister's house to sleep, as they were staying the night. She died early the next morning, with me not there. I felt bad, but yet, after being there when my Grandmother, Father and Mother died and by myself when my Mom died, far from home, I was also relieved.
The hell and cruelty some of her neighbors pulled and having to settle an estate that was hours away from me, took its toll. I trust people even less than before and avoid people as much as I can.
I'm crying just typing this out.

there are so many heartbreaking stories here - Im sending my love to all of you. Life can be so, so cruel and unfair.

Losing my baby son in 1994.
My second son born with disabilities in 1996 and nearly losing him two weeks later.
Losing my husband in 2001.
Losing my partner in 2018...
💔 💔 💔 💔

Losing one of my best friends in a really tragic accident when we were teenagers.

My sister delivering her baby stillborn. Seeing the girl I love most in the world have to deal with something so horrific and the emotional toll it has taken on her over the last few years. Wishing I could fix it for her but there being nothing I could do. But - she safely delivered her second baby yesterday 🥹

Mine sounds insignificant amongst all these but it was when I lost my horse of 15 years.
I bought part of him with my first pay packet and paid the rest in installments. He was an escape from my awful, verbally abusive mother.
After 10 years, he and I moved up North and again he was my saviour as I forged a new life.
Having the vet out on Friday and then coming back Monday as there has been no change emotionally exhausted me.
My mother came up a week or so later and I had a beautiful bunch of flowers on my sill. She asked who they were off and when I said my stable friends, she said "it was only a horse" 😭
It will be 21 years this year and I still shed a tear for him.
My mother on the other hand has been widowed and is currently a hot potato between my two sisters as neither want to care for her in her latter years. Thankfully distance means I am out of the equation.

So many things.
Recently, I was my dad's carer for three years. He died at home. I did everything but there is no way to do enough.

4 miscarriages in 18 months - followed by a total loss of my fertility (due to repeat ectopics) and IVF treatment. Seeing the still screen after there had been a heartbeat days before is a feeling I’ll never forget. I have my lovely little boy now but often still cry in the shower when I think about it all.

I've got 3. Being left with a 6 month old with no resources or money after I had supported him. We weren't his responsibility apparently.

My DF dying. The bottom fell out of my world.

This last summer were I wasn't sure I'd still have a job and my decades old friend non support. It felt the same as being left decades earlier but this time I was much older and less resilient.